"Turkey Day"

[Guest Vulcan3324]

"Turkey Day", or "How I Stopped Worrying and Trusted the Gremlin in the Replicator"

Lieutenant j.g. Laarell Teykier

Personal Log

November 24, 23--

 

Laarell Teykier walked into the crowded Mess Hall to be greeted with the fragrant aromas of traditional American Thanksgiving fare. She was somewhat familiar with the celebration from her years at the Academy, but the presence of the overzealous, hungry cadets who seemed determined to dig grubby hands into the dishes without using the serving utensils provided was a little offsetting.

 

She looked around quietly, observing the maddening mass of people crowded around the long buffet table, filling their silver-toned trays with all sorts of bizarre foods. She could spy what seemed to be several large, skinned avians, bowls of what seemed to be a mashed potatoes, some reddish-colored berries, chopped orange roots - "carrots", she believed they were called ... in some sort of sauce ... soggy cubes with seasoning - which made her wonder if that particular dish was a holdover from the 23rd Century, when nearly all specialty foods were made in cube form, and at least a dozen more dishes on the main serving table, with even more to be found on the dessert table.

 

Well, Thanksgiving could wait for next year, she determined, and walked over to the line of replicators. "Hmm ... gagh. Moderately chewy, not crunchy. Raktajino, double strong, no sugar." She waited, and instead of her order, she was given only a little blinking red light above the serving dispenser.

 

"All replication units are currently offline, to reserve power for the kitchen," the drily irritating, overly uncaring voice of the computer announced.

 

"Computer, override orders and bring them back online, Code Seven-Seven-Baker." Pulling rank on the computer made her feel happy, in an evil sense. After all, it wasn't as if the code to override Chef's orders would be high command level...

 

"All replication units are currently offline, to reserve power for the kitchen," it repeated, as if the cunning vreggai ... gremlin ... residing in the bowels of the computer hardware didn't even know that she had already heard its monotonous reply.

 

She quietly muttered a curse in her native tongue before peering again at the main banquet table. "What if we don't wish to eat your dead poultry and your decomposing vegetables?" She knew the answer: the meal would be done in roughly an hour or so, and the replicators would more than likely be back online at that time. The obviously telepathic computer system, most likely sensing that she knew that little factoid, didn't respond. "Fine. Make me eat your food. See if I care!" She cast one more menacing look at the replicator before heading off towards the food...

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tired, stuffed, and a little queasy, Laarell walked into her quarters and took a seat at the computer access terminal. She hadn't eaten that much of any one dish, besides the surprisingly good fruit salad, but the entirety of the meal had been far more than she was used to eating. She opened the new style of personal text communique program that had been installed two days ago, and started writing.

 

 

To: Orion Free Trade Consulate, Qo'NoS

CC: Britan Jeffan, Head Chef, Orion Free Trade Consulate, Qo'NoS

From: Lieutenant (junior grade) Laarell Elai Teykier, USS Morningstar

Subject: Idea for Terran-Orion relations

 

Dearest Father, honored Ambassador to Qo'NoS,

 

It has recently come to my attention that many Terrans are fond of celebrating a historic ritual known as 'Thanksgiving'. According to my research, the practice dates back many centuries to a time when a group of religious refugees crossed the 'Atlantic Ocean' on Earth to a largely unexplored continent, and the natives assisted them, bringing foods from that 'New World', which later became known as the continent of North America. For many centuries, this feast was reenacted in the Americas, but now it seems that Starfleet personnel from many nationalities, even non-Earthers, seem to follow the tradition.

 

My idea is that relations between Qo'NoS-based Orions and Qo'NoS-based Terrans could be improved if in future years, the Free Trade Consulate could host a version of the feast, using materials found in the Consulate itself, as well as in the local Klingon markets. You'll find that I've outlined below some substitutes for the Terran foods. In a crunch, you could use a replicator, as the ship's Chef did, but for the sake of flavor, the best alternative would be to find local foods that would work. The recipes themselves are in an attachment file. You won't have any trouble reading it -- the translation into the Urvashek Orion dialect is perfect, considering that I completed it myself. This list is by no means comprehensive, but I've included some of the most popular foods that would also suit an Orion palate, so feel free to add to this if you do your own bit of research.

 

Turkey

 

The primary dish is the practice of carving a 'turkey', a fairly large poultry from the Terran homeworld. The replicated bird didn't sit well with me, therefore, I suggest that gagh be formed into a mold shaped like one of those animals, and chilled to the point where the worms will go unconscious, and will not spoil the shape of the 'turkey'.

 

Turkey Stuffing

 

I, surprisingly enough, found the turkey's stuffing more enjoyable than the turkey itself. At first, due to the 'cube stuffing' that was used, I had thought that the stuffing was a contribution from the 23rd Century, when, as I'm sure you know, the Terrans were obsessed with multicolored food cubes. However, I'm certain that Klingon mr'TaQ bread, finely chopped, will serve your needs. Make certain to remove the unhatched larvae before it is baked to crispness.

 

Cranberry Sauce

 

The very first thing that came to mind while eating this particular food was the presence of round berries, which instantly made me think of jolon berries, from the Orion homeworld. I know that Britan keeps them on hand for jolon soup, so again, there shouldn't be any trouble locating them.

 

Brandied Carrots

 

This is one of the less popular foods at 'Thanksgiving', but I found the rich flavor pleasing. You may actually have some carrots on hand, but there are several Klingon rot-roots that would work very well indeed. For the brandy, I'd recommend attempting to locate some authentic Terran brandy, but any alcoholic beverage with a similar flavor could be used, I suppose.

Creamed Onions

Quite easy preparation. Prepare a cream, most likely with an Orion goatmilk base, and add zihko fruits. I can't think of any two vegetables from different worlds that taste more alike than our Orion zihko roots and 'onions'.

 

Pumpkin Pie

 

Hmmm ... this one presented a problem for me. I'll have to recommend a combination of foods, ranging from a bit of bloodwine, to add an orangish color, to the fruit of the achirach vine. The flavor itself is added more from the humans' spices, which I'm certain that you have on hand. Any pastry crust should do, just make certain that it doesn't burn.

 

I'll refrain from adding any more recipes, as I'm certain that Britan is wringing his hands by now over how to manage all of these alien dishes on one day. I will end this note with the recommendation that the beverages be tested to make certain that they complement the food well. As I'm certain you have noted on more than one occasion, a meal can instantly be ruined by the addition of a mismatched drink.

 

I remain,

 

Your loving daughter,

Laarell Teykier

 

"Computer, off." The computer begrudgingly complied, but Laarell didn't mind the slight lag. After all, whatever little vreggai lived within the computer hadn't made a bad call when it didn't let her have gagh that evening...

 

=END LOG=