Spaceballs II

[Dark Helmet 0]

Dark Helmet: Colonial Sanders!

Colonial Sanders: Yes, what is it, Lord Helmet?

Dark Helmet: Remind me again how we came to be stuck in this void.

Colonial Sanders: Ah. Remember how we barely escaped the destruction of Spaceball I?

Dark Helmet: Yes, so?

Colonial Sanders: Well then you remember how we crashed on the Planet of the Apes.

President Scroob: I'll say. Thank the Schwartz they remade that movie or we would still be stuck there!

Colonial Sanders: Right. So when the apes had the opportunity they made damn sure we left their planet.

Dark Helmet: OK, it's coming back to me now. They sent another ship, Spaceball II.

Colonial Sanders. Cheap piece of...

Dark Helmet: Well if it wasn't for those budget cuts at the studio...

::Dark Helmet and Colonial Sanders look at President Scroob::

President Scroob: Guys! How was I to know "Dracula: Dead and Loving It" would flop?

Colonial Sanders: Anyway, the studio did get a good deal on Prince Lone Star's Winnebago.

Dark Helmet: Ebay?

President Scroob: No, Craig's List.

Colonial Sanders: Right. He listed it himself. He didn't need it anymore, now that he is a Prince and all.

President Scroob: That smell was awful, with all that puke from Barf.

Dark Helmet: I remember. Thank the Schwartz for this. ::lowers visor::

Colonial Sanders: So anyway, after we cleaned the ship up we finally got underway.

Dark Helmet: Guys...

Colonial Sanders: So after the false hopes of a prequell...

Dark Helmet: Uh, guys...

President Scroob: Oh, for crying out loud, what is it?

Dark Helmet: MY HELMET IS STUCK!!!

::Colonial Sanders and President Scroob roll their eyes::

Colonial Sanders: The WD-40 is right where you left it.

::Dark Helmet feels around for the WD-40 and can't find it::

Colonial Sanders: So, after a while, we discovered this race called the H'tiss. They knew of our reputation for bad jokes, puns, and corny gags and...

::loud crash::

Colonial Sanders: Hold on a sec... ::helps Dark Helmet with the WD-40 and his helmet::

Dark Helmet: ::huff, puff, huff:: I still can't breathe in this thing!

Colonial Sanders: Anyway, the H'tiss wanted nothing to do with us.

President Scroob: Sensible enough.

Colonial Sanders: So they tricked us into entering this void. Said something about a lucrative merchandising deal inside, so we went.

President Scroob: I remember now. We've been trapped here ever since. We joined this coalition of ships who raid the newcomers for resources.

Colonial Sanders: So ever since then we have been... What do they call us?

Dark Helmet: Comic relief.

President Scroob: You said it, sport! ::pats Dark Helmet on the back, bringing his visor down again::

Dark Helmet: Oof!

::President Scroob and Colonial Sanders walk off in the distance still talking::

Dark Helmet: I'm still surrounded by a**holes! Guys?...Guys?

Dark Helmet: ::sigh:: I miss my dolls.

Edited November 8, 2005 by Dark Helmet