Guilty, Not Charged

[Guest Vulcan3324]

"Guilty, Not Charged"

Lieutenant j.g. T'Parek

Personal Log

October 05, 2155

 

"We lost a man." Moore slammed his hand down onto the console.

 

T'Parek cringed outwardly at the sound. Her heart was already pumping furiously in her ears, and the Bridge was spinning around her. "I'm sorry, Captain," she said, sincerely, but she knew that her words could only do so much to alleviate the fact that she was the one to hesitate on beaming both MACO's back at once. She was the one who had to logically let the transporter batteries safely recharge after each use. Maybe if she hadn't been so cautious, Sam Watterston would still be alive...

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Her dour mood continued late into the evening. Her attempts at meditation failed; she was troubled beyond the abilities of Surakian foundations to calm and clarify her mind. More self-aware than the first day she was on the ship, she sulked out of her quarters out into the corridor. She quickly became convinced that every glance in her direction was an attempt to cover their resentment towards her. One way or another, she eventually found herself in the Mess Hall.

 

She spent yet another hour staring out of the window opening out onto the starfield beyond the ship, as if somehow, her weak telepathic powers could stretch across space-time and pull the corporal back to the ship.

 

Apparently word got to the Kitchen that the resident Vulcan wasn't herself, and soon after, a bowl of steaming plo-mik broth was placed before her. Although appreciating Chef's efforts to 'cheer her up,' T'Parek didn't feel like doing much more than stirring the soup, letting her mind get lost in the ripples of soup...

 

As illogical as it was to dwell upon the fact that she was to blame for the incident, T'Parek couldn't shake the feeling.

 

Another hour passed, and the soup became as cold as the vacuum around the ship. The strong guilt matched with her Vulcan nature of pulling a shroud of dispassion around her were oil and water; T'Parek needed to do anything but keep everything bottled up inside. Unfortunately for her psyche, everything around her; everything she even thought about made her feel worse, building up the 'bad karma', if you will, rather than releasing it.

 

05:29 hours.

 

Her shift didn't normally begin for several hours yet, but she wanted to immerse herself in her work ... let the process of recalibrating sub-field band frequencies take her mind off of her guilt ...

 

=END LOG=