"Feelings For Sale"

[JasFMcCellan 0]

CMO Personal Log

Date: 10/06/55

 

Feelings. The unpredictable patterns of the mind, we all have it, we all love it and we all hate it. Some of us ignore it. Some of us embrace it.

 

Feelings. From a laugh to a tear, from a kiss to a fist, we all have seen it. We all have experienced it. Some cherish the memories. Some place it deeply in their mind, locked away, forgotten. Until one day they rise up and take over.

 

A marvel, the brain is.

 

Jasmine told herself.

 

A valued possession, the brain is.

 

Jasmine told her memory of her sister.

 

Don’t lose your mind, because you might not get it back.

 

“Don’t lose your mind, because you might not get it back.” The doctor mumbled to herself. Mr. Matt Vank resting. Grey brought the stretcher over. The two of them placed the broken man into it. They set foot for sickbay.

 

Feeling of loss is inevitable, we all know that; People leave, die, and disappear. No one would have the same exact life style as you.

 

No one would have the same exact life style as you.

 

She told her self. She felt guilty for not being able to help treat every one that steps into her sickbay, not able to cure a debilitating disease for a friend, not able to be that person whom every one looks upon.

 

She glanced at Grey. His expression was unreadable, but he looked as if he had plenty of thoughts in his mind. He was thinking about his twin, whom she failed to save.

 

Am I a bad Doctor?

 

She felt guilty, depressed and useless for a moment. Her anger heightened like it never had before but even that wasn’t enough to even overpower her depression, it fell back into its useless den of memories. She was never an angry person, never in life had she needed to be angry.

 

If I can cast away Anger, why not all my feelings?

 

Her memories plagued her yet again. They were happy memories, those of her childhood, birthdays and music concerts. Instead of enlightening her mood, they pained her even more.

 

Feelings. From fear to determination, all it took to differentiate them is to be confident. One can never expound their fear. Her fear was darkness.

 

Where there is no light, you’ve no idea where you are going.

 

She mumbled agreement.

 

You don’t see the obstacles.

 

Mmm-hmm

 

You can’t get over them.

You will utterly fail.

 

Yes … She agreed, but didn’t know how to rid herself of this darkness, her soon realized that her feelings blinded her.

 

Feelings. Oh how I want to cast you all away.

 

Feelings. Oh how I want to embrace you all till death.

 

Feelings …

Edited October 6, 2005 by JasFMcCellan