I Denounce Thee

[Tachyon 0]

“I Denounce Thee”

October 3, 2155

Lieutenant Dave Grey

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His entire world was falling apart, and there was nothing he could do about it. Everything that mattered was irrelevant; minor details seemed to carry more weight than a neutron star. Every time he attempted to slow down and breath, his life caught up and gave dogged pursuit, threatening to smother him into submission.

 

As Grey retrieved as stretcher from sickbay, he considered what a sorry state his life was. His legs tingled, although they did not bear any permanent damage, and the left side of his face sported some bruises and a cut, courtesy of a battle with a boarding party. That latest episode in his epic lifetime was just one example of how stupid Grey had been acting lately.

 

He should not have fought, of course—Nausicaans were renowned for their strength, and although he was a competent hand-to-hand fighter, at best Grey would be able to evade, not take down a Nausicaan, and surely not several. Instead of escaping and attempting to get power online, however, he had fought foolhardily.

 

The worst part of it was not the fighting, though. It was the aftermath. As Grey lay beneath the downed Nausicaan attacker, drifting along the blanket of semi-consciousness, the last thoughts in his mind were horrible. Grey did not know what he should have been thinking—perhaps something along the lines of guilt for leaving his sister behind, for failing the Challenger and its crew, for never experiencing the joys of warp 6 travel.

 

No, Grey’s thoughts were slightly more macabre and twisted than that. Lying beneath the Nausicaan, head pressed against the cold metal deck plating, Grey’s final thoughts were At least now I won’t be left behind. I won’t be alone. I won’t be abandoned. I won’t be a failure.

 

It had been preying on Grey’s mind for a very long time now, ever since he had realised that Harriet was going to die and there was nothing he could do. He had failed her, the one person who meant the most to him, and she was going to slip through his fingers. Even more agonizingly, she was going to leave him utterly and truly alone. Grey may have other family and friends, but they were siblings, they were twins! In their youth, they had been inseparable. Now, humanity’s most ancient foe would rend them asunder for the most arbitrary of reasons. And then Grey would be alone.

 

So as it went through his mind, Grey knew it was wrong, but he was only human; he could not help thinking these thoughts. He felt certain he would die shortly, or perhaps it was a delusion due to the lack of oxygen going to his brain, but he would die with the immense relief that at least he would not be left alone to suffer while his sister was released from her bonds. This small, tiny bit of egocentricity irked him.

 

This only compounded his problems and his general mood. Life as Grey knew it had taken a drastic turn for the worst. He could see no way to get out of this unsolvable dilemma and render everything better—there were no dei ex machinis in Grey’s life, only the hard and immutable truth that was Murphy’s Law. And each day, as his sense of impending doom grew and his cynicism increased, Grey felt utterly oppressed by the reality of the situation. He wanted to cast off his trappings of intelligence and sensitivity and openly proclaim to the universe . . .

 

Look at me. Dave Grey. The fraud.