Borgisms

[knlwtchr 0]

Dairy of Borg Queen: Treats are irrelevent. Treatment is irrelevent. Resistance is...MMmmmmm Dilly Bars.

[WesleyMustDie 0]

Deathstar: The planet will be destroyed. It is irrelevant.

 

Borg cube: *drops out of warp* THE DEATHSTAR IS IRRELEVANT. IT WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS----Hey, they're jamming the futile channel!

[DaryusZaphodDracal 0]

Vulcan of Borg> Resistance is illogical.

[WesleyMustDie 0]

Nice one, Zaphod.

[eagle 0]

Nice one, Zaphod.

still cannot get blue light sabre,so settled for this, whadda think..?? :lol: :lol:

[Travis Kroells 0]

Borg Gone Wild...

 

"Show us your CPU!!!"

[Ensign_Rompen 0]

and todays winner is.........Travis!

 

LoAmi:1

Merina:1

Travis:1

[LoAmi 0]

How you know the Borg have been assimilating too many people:

 

Being 7 of 3962765 just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[eagle 0]

I hear the Borg Queen has nanites, don't go near her she's always scratching.

too risque...?? you tell me....

;) :lol:

[Garnoopy 0]

Actually, this topic reminded me of an e-mail I got a few years back.

 

Borg vs Windows

 

"Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript.

 

Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at

finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been

able to access their command pathways?"

 

Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching

through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing

technology."

 

Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.

 

Riker looks puzzled:

"What the hell is a 'Microsoft'?"

 

Data turns to answer:

"Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason

called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside

their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources

at an unstoppable rate."

 

Picard:

"But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their

processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"

 

Data: "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new

version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources

increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be

able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing

ability will be taken over and none will be available for their

normal operational functions."

 

Picard: "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable

geometric shape' idea."

 

... 15 Minutes Later ...

 

Data: "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the

command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all

resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the

expected 'upgrade'."

 

Geordi: "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU

capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an

'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."

 

Picard: "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is

something we missed."

 

Data: "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'.

Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not

sending in their registration cards.

 

Riker: "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency

escape sequence 3F ..."

 

Geordi, excited:

"Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly

dropped to 0%!"

 

Picard: "Data, what do your scanners show?"

 

Data: "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module

named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."

 

Picard: "Lets wait and see how long this 'Solitaire' can reduce their

functionality."

 

... Two Hours Pass ...

 

Riker: "Geordi what's the status on the Borg?"

 

Geordi: "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate

for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they

successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep

space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules from

something called the 'Microsoft Fun-Pack'.

 

Picard: "How much time will that buy us?"

 

Data: "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest

time span of 6 more hours."

 

Geordi: "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."

 

Picard: "Identify."

 

Data: "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo!"

 

Over the speakers:

"THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY.

WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS

SECTOR. SURREDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU

HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY."

 

Data: "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and

released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."

 

Picard: "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!"

 

Riker: "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward

the Borg ship with no life support suits! How can they

survive deep space?!"

 

Data: "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look

closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something

recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather

briefcases, and wearing Armani suits!"

 

Riker and Picard together horrified:

"Lawyers!!"

 

Geordi: "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling

into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."

 

Data: "True, but apparently some must have survived."

 

Riker: "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with

pieces of paper."

 

Data: "I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' --

it often proves fatal."

 

Riker: "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"

 

Picard: "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the

Borg deserve that."

[WesleyMustDie 0]

LOL! I've read that one before and it's hilarious!

[Dumbass 0]

Didn't I post that same thing here once?

[knlwtchr 0]

I am Hamlet of Borg. You will be.. or not to be.

[knlwtchr 0]

I am Barker of Borg. You will come on down....

[Travis Kroells 0]

TV's newest Soap, as the Cube Turns:

 

"I'm sorry 5 of 2490345 but he has...Terminal Rust..."

 

Dun Dun DUN!!!

 

"This does not compute!!!"

[Merina 0]

Shakespeare of borg:: If all the world is a stage, then you will be assimilated.

[Dumbass 0]

TV's newest Soap, as the Cube Turns:

[DaryusZaphodDracal 0]

McBorg's, You deserve a Borg today. So, get up and get assimilated.

[Ensign_Rompen 0]

and todays winner.....Dumbass...for providing the spinning cube and ripping off the borgism ;)

 

 

LoAmi:1

Travis:1

Merina:1

Dumbass:1

Edited August 2, 2005 by Ensign_Rompen

[Dumbass 0]

I tried to find a rotating sphere, but no luck.

[Travis Kroells 0]

and todays winner.....Dumbass...for providing the spinning cube and ripping off the borgism ;)

 

 

LoAmi:1

Travis:1

Merina:1

Dumbass:1

::Files a complaint::

[eagle 0]

Hamlet of Lore

 

Alas! poor Crosis, I knew him well. A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now?

 

My goodness, I think that theory about Shakespeare is true! LOL

me thinks something is rotten in the state of denmark.....and it,s not the fish....

and first we kill all the lawyers...hhhmmm he did have a point ;) :lol:

[knlwtchr 0]

Borgs are made, not Bjorn.

[Seiben 0]

Borgs are made, not Bjorn.

Ohh...:P

[eagle 0]

Ohh...:)

ooooooooooooooooo...good one ....... :P :lol: :wub: