I pledge allegiance to the flag of the UFP

[Darrik 0]

I got a call from the elementary school administrative assistant this morning.

 

"Mrs. Jaworski?" I could hear her tapping a pencil against the desk.

 

"Uh yes, and it's Ms., please."

 

"Your son, 8, has been suspended for the day. Come here and pick him up."

 

She didn't give me time to answer, to ask questions, her voice disappeared as if someone cut the line. I stood in the kitchen, my bare feet aching from yesterday's marathon, and I took a deep breath. My son can be a nut at times, but he's never done the kinds of things that troubled kids do. He doesn't talk back, he doesn't pick fights, and he's never destroyed property. I couldn't picture him doing anything scholastically evil. Maybe he stripped and ran around the school naked, I thought. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

 

The principal met me in her office. She closed the door tightly behind me and invited me to sit in a stuffed orange vinyl chair.

 

"Mrs. Jaworski, 8 has been suspended from school for one day." She wore an arctic blue power jacket over black slacks, and I self-consciously tried to pull my hooded sweatshirt further over my pink pajamas.

 

"It's Ms., please. And sorry for my attire, but I ran a marathon yesterday and I'm too sore to change this morning." I tried to infect her with my smile, but she wore a tight-lipped expression as frosty as her jacket. "So, anyway. What did he do?" I picked at the hem of my sweatshirt, looked just to the right of her face. I couldn't meet her eyes. I felt nervous. I felt underdressed. I wondered where 8 was.

 

So she told me what he did. And as she told me, I started to laugh. I didn't laugh a little, either, but I belly-laughed and grabbed my stomach. My son stood with his class this morning, put small right hand over heart, faced the American flag, and recited his own personal pledge of allegiance:

 

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Federation of Planets, and to the galaxy for which it stands, one universe, under everybody, with liberty and justice for all species.

 

"Mrs. Jaworski. This isn't humorous. The Pledge is an extremely important and patriotic moment each morning in the classroom. I am ashamed of your son's behavior, and I hope you are, too."

 

I wanted to say, Hey Lady, it's a big universe. Why should we pledge allegiance to a mixed-up country? Why shouldn't my son embrace the potential of stardust? But I stood, extended my hand, apologized for my laughter, slung my purse over my shoulder, opened her door to find my son, 8, red-eyed sitting on the wooden bench bordering the World Map wall.

 

I'm sitting here, working on computer things, and Mr. 8 sits in the living room. He has to write the "real" pledge of allegiance fifty times before he can return to school. But first he's watching Star Trek. Damn straight.

 

 

 

http://blogs.salon.com/0003522/2005/06/06.html#a576

[Dumbass 0]

The potential of stardust?

[Cougar 0]

I heard this on a podcast show, and I laughed my head off ^_^

[Travis Kroells 0]

I got in trouble for a similar incident in school. If any of you have noticed, I'm about as left wing as you can get. Now, when we started having to do the peldge, I made up my own, just to stick it to the man.

 

I pledge ally sheedy,

To the slag

Of the United Skates of Emilo

 

And to the repugnant

Of Richard Stanz

 

One Naked

Undergarment

Invisible man

For Liberachi

And cubumbers for all.

 

Boy, was I shunned for being "un patriotic". Like I care, I'll just move to Canada and steal Nem's paper.

[Brian Graham 0]

This has the potential for a Calvin and Hobbes moment.

 

Bill Watterson, please come out of retirement and take advantage of this moment!!

[Darrik 0]

someone mention Calvin and Hobbs?

 

 

"I pledge allegiance, to the Janitor, and his mighty mop of clenliness. And to the toilets, that he must scrub, one cleanser, under his cart, with plungers, and scrubbers, for all."

 

and for added fun

 

I pledge allegiance to the Timelords of Gallifrey, and to the Tardis for which it serves, one Terry Nation, under nine Doctors, and jelly babies for all.

 

I pledge allegiance to the Jupiter Mining Corporation, and to the Red Dwarf for which she rides, one station under Holly, with smoked kippers and Cinzano Biancos for all.

 

I pledge allegiance to the Village, and to Number Two in whatever he/she plans, one Number, under Rover, with no liberty and no justice for Number Six.

 

 

and for those Locke fans...

 

I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United Stated of America, and to the ideals for which it stands, one nation of the people, by the people, and for the people, with liberty and justice for all.

 

 

Right now (okay, awhile back) I started working on making a Hitchhiker pledge. So far, I have...

 

I pledge allegiance to Zaphod Bebblebrox, the hoopiest frood in the galaxy, and to his legs, for which he stands on, one galaxy, under Bob, divisible, with....

 

I'm thinking of the last part being "with towels and Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters for him." , but if anyone wants to give suggestions for it, go ahead.

[Calvin Defarge 0]

That's ridiculous. Someone I knew called my teacher a....an unfriendly name and he just got sent out into the hall.

[Seiben 0]

Gee, American teachers are so strict, eh? Pledge of Allegience.. we never had to do that when I was highschool. But then, I'm Canadian.. lol.

[Images 0]

Gee, American teachers are so strict, eh? Pledge of Allegience.. we never had to do that when I was highschool. But then, I'm Canadian.. lol.

It all just seems so Draconian to me. Friend of mine lived in the states, when they did the pledge in class she didn't stand up. Teacher asked her why and she said "because I'm not American, I'm English", teacher went nuts on her! "It doesn't matter where you're from missy" (i'm not kidding) "You're in America now so you can start acting like an American" Well the girl basically told her where to shove the pledge and she ended up suspended for a couple of weeks.

[Cptn Corizon 0]

Actually....it's not "American teachers" it's American law. According to statue, it is required for American students to say the pledge every morning before school.

 

Now...I can rant on for the rest of this post why that's inherently wrong....but I won't ^_^

[Col. C.E. Harper 0]

Actually....it's not "American teachers" it's American law. According to statue, it is required for American students to say the pledge every morning before school.

 

Now...I can rant on for the rest of this post why that's inherently wrong....but I won't ^_^

Well, actually, that's local statues, not national. And I believe only applies to public schools -- I've never lived in a state with a pledge law, so that may be wrong, but I'd be surprised if the state could compell the pledge in a private school. And of course, the courts have upheld the individual's right not to pledge.

[Cptn Corizon 0]

I stand corrected. ^_^ Of course, I think it's funny that we have a pledge, considering that that is something fascist nations have...::smirks::

[WesleyMustDie 0]

I stand corrected. ^_^ Of course, I think it's funny that we have a pledge, considering that that is something fascist nations have...::smirks::

Did I hear that correctly? ::shakes head:: I can't have...::wonders what was meant by the commander's comment::

[Brian Graham 0]

Well, actually, that's local statues, not national.  And I believe only applies to public schools -- I've never lived in a state with a pledge law, so that may be wrong, but I'd be surprised if the state could compell the pledge in a private school.    And of course, the courts have upheld the individual's right not to pledge.

They must not have done that in my district. They never made me say the Pledge the whole time I was in public school, though they did have it every morning I just stood there....actually, kind of like what I do on Excalibur...

 

Kidding, I do work, I do work.

Edited July 4, 2005 by Brian Graham

[Travis Kroells 0]

That's ridiculous. Someone I knew called my teacher a....an unfriendly name and he just got sent out into the hall.

Well...That made sense...

 

^_^