Darth Dumbass

[Dumbass 0]

We were continuing our investigation of the technology found on the Hawk, including what for lack of a better name we are calling a Hyperdrive, when we discovered something else. It looked at first to be a bread slicer that could also toast the bread at the same time. Apparently it does more than that. When testing this bread slicer it also sliced through the table we had the bread sitting on. I now believe this to be a new hand weapon of some kind. I suppose it needs a name. It operates like a sword or saber, and the blade is made of light. A Lightsaber? As good a name as any I suppose. Since the only actual matter in the weapon is the handle itself it is indeed light.

 

My preliminary analysis indicates that the power source is in the base of the handle and that a series of conductors, crystals, and cycling field energizers produce various aspects of the blade, including it's color - in this case red - and that the cycling field energizers reduce energy loss. I would guess the device also has the ability to capture energy from other sources, including energy beams - which the blade apparently has the ability to block - and maybe even electricity. I don't quite understand how it does this at this point. There must be some unknown force at work here.

 

At any rate, I shut the device off and attached it to my belt for later study. One of the Laghs decided he just had to see it and made a grab for it, not only activating the device but taking his head off with it. I called for the MRF, but no answer. So I grabbed the Lagh, already dead by this point, and took the turbolift to the MRF. I could not carry both the heavy Klingon and his detached head, so when the turbolift stopped I had to kick his head down the corridor like a soccer ball. Somewhere between the turbolift and the MRF the head was lost. Probably Rhoagie's new chew toy by now. I left the corpse with the EMH who would then send the body to the morgue.

 

I would have thought the blade would have produced a clean cut, but there was blood all over my uniform. Perhaps the blade needs tuning. At any rate, the only person who could instruct me in using this new lightsaber was in the mess hall, being honored by Captain Messner. I was on the Academy fencing team as a Cadet but clearly that would not be enough. I pretended I was not covered in blood as I made my way to the mess hall where the captain of the Hawk was being wined and dined. I must sit close to this person so that when the time is right, i.e she is drunk enough, I can ask some questions or simply use my Vulcan telepathy to gain more information.

Edited May 31, 2005 by Dumbass