Thoughts on the Edge of Infinity

[Brian Graham 0]

Chief Security Officer's Personal Log

Lt. Brian Graham Reporting

USS Excalibur

Stardate 200503.04

 

Oh man, does the scenery around here ever change?

Obviously not, the awayteam had spent some time on the asteroid, busily setting up the listening post. The Excalibur on the other hand was gone, not gone gone, just not around. Complications with the cloaking device had forced them to leave prematurely, while the awayteam stayed behind to complete the mission. Supplies had been sent over, but the bad thing about supplies were that they were finite, and the only way to get more was to be rescued.

 

Brian had been constantly trying to keep himself busy on the listening post, at least when he was on duty. Lt. Xavier had expressly forbidden putting in overtime, which Brian saw the logic in, since more work meant more oxygen usage. It might get the listening post done faster, but since no one knew when rescue was due to arrive, using up all of the oxygen wasn't a good idea.

 

The one thing that bothered Brian the most was being away from Excalibur. He had grown up in an era of starships, marvels of construction that could explore galaxies, heck sometimes other time periods, and had dreamed of serving aboard one. With his graduation from the Academy, that dream had become a reality, and Excalibur had been his first starship home. He had heard some display displeasure of starship life, being cramped up in a small vessel, having no real permanent location, just somewhere in space. Brian had never thought of it that way. Planets may be bigger, but when you were on a planet, you were just there. Starships let you see other places, and really see them, not just view them on a LCARS monitor. Awayteams were where the action was, but Brian found himself remembering the small things about starships that were familiar and appealed to him. The constant, faint, hum of the engines, the way the deckplates vibrated when the warp drive kicked in, the split second between when the starship moved and the inertial dampeners kicked in, the sounds the door made when they opened and closed, the sounds of an LCARS console and its visual layout.

 

And there were things you could do on a starship that you couldn't necessarily do here. His music was one thing. After his shift, his favorite thing was being able to go to his quarters and work, but be able to play his oldies whenever he wanted. Alas, Billy Joel, ELO, Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas, Johhny Cash, Frankie Valli, Gene Pitney, and all the others were back on Excalibur. All the hits were still in his head, and he'd mentally sing them to himself, but it wasn't the same. One of the first things he'd do after their rescue and the debriefing would be to play the list all the way through. It may take three hours, but it was therapeutic. Heck, Brian doubted a counselor could do much better. The one thing that he was constantly reminded of was movement, too. The EVA suits, although imperative to have in this environment, restricted movement and visibility. Brian wished he could get some exercise, but the suit made it almost impossible. Even running didn't go over very well, and the last thing he needed was to trip and compromise the suit's integrity, that would make a fine obituary.

 

Death too, that thought came up every once and awhile, and Brian made every effort to silence it whenever it presented itself. Security Chiefs had to display no signs of discomfort or weakness. Brian wasn't sure if it was a rule, but he had noticed that it seemed to be, so he just went along with it. He kept it all in his head, but he also didn't let it affect him or what he was doing. His rank reminded him to keep in control. He had to be an example to Chen, the Delgado, and McKnight. He knew they could handle the situation and didn’t really need to be concerned with setting an example, but he didn't want to give one opportunity for indecision or fear one his part to affect them, possibly letting them give in to seeing the situation as hopeless. Xavier was a different story, his situation was worse. As leader of the awayteam he had to make the decisions and give the impression that he had no doubts. Heck he probably didn't have any; he had enough experience in life to know how to handle any situation.

 

Brian stole a look up, half expecting to see Excalibur decloak and hear the chirp of the communication channel, or feel the initialization of a transporter field. Nothing, and Brian knew better, silently cursing himself. Wishful thinking didn’t get anyone anywhere and Brian knew better than that. He headed off to the tent he had been assigned to get something to eat and then get some sleep before getting back to work on the listening post.

Edited March 5, 2005 by Brian Graham