"Romulans, Klingons, Libido Oh My!"

[Garnoopy 0]

Lieutenant Garnoopy

Operations Officer

USS Arcadia, NCC-1742-E

Personal Log Stardate 50410.03

“Romulans, Klingons, Libido Oh My!”

 

There are many things in this galaxy that are unexplainable. Some come in the form of microscopic beings. Others are large bodies that no one can quite identify, and no, I’m not referring to that one relative who you always contemplate how they can manage to eat half the buffet while still being able to talk at a level normally suited to a rock concert.

 

Every so often I run into another unexplainable phenomenon. Today I’ve managed to find Klingons. Now, Klingons are not an unexplainable item, although sometimes we think so, they are very much apart of our quadrant as any other race. However, these Klingons are a bit unusual, as you may have noticed. Unless of course you just happened to be in a coma these past few days.

 

So, my life is never without a dull moment and here it appears to be going again. Where it shall end, I’m not quite sure. Most likely with my body being ejected in a torpedo casket at some point in the far future, but that’s not important right now. What is important is that I appear to once again have managed to find myself in the position of having a, shall we say, unusual person being attracted to me.

 

Once upon a time, no, wait; we won’t start this that way. It’s cheesy. Used. Old. It all began, ok, wait, I know it’s cheesy, deal with it. It all began when Romulans captured me.

 

Now, I know what your thinking, this is the same old romance story everyone tells. Starfleet Officer gets captured by Romulans. Starfleet Officer is held captive. Starfleet Officer gets injured, nearly dies. Meanwhile, while Starfleet Officer is unconscious Romulan Officer falls in love with the Starfleet Officer. In the meantime Starfleet Officer’s Captain and Romulan Officers Commanding Officer hold negotiations. In the end Starfleet Officer gets taken back to ship and Romulan Officer’s heart is broken.

 

Since that is what you were thinking I won’t dull you with the minor details, it’s exactly what happened to me: standard romance novel. How my life manages to conform to this I cannot explain. It’s another unexplainable phenomenon.

 

Now that my life has moved it appears as though I now have Klingon officer, who wears pink wife-beaters, kissing me on the bridge of the Arcadia! What ever shall I do? Kiss back?

 

As previously stated Klingons in themselves are very explainable, these Klingons though are not. We have traveled to an alternate universe in which Klingons appear no longer to be the honorable warrior race that I knew them for, but instead appear to be fashionable, stylish, and hold a rather powerful libido. Who could have guessed it?

 

This libido of theirs appears to be a rather strong driving force in their race here in this universe. It’s rather interesting to behold. The Bch of the Klingon ship, otherwise known as the Captain in Federation terms, was beamed right here to the bridge wearing a leather bikini which was covered in jello. Meanwhile the pink wife-beater Klingon was driven to flirt with many persons onboard while walking the hallways.

 

We may never behold the answer to how this libido developed. Right now the priority is to find the people we’re looking for and then get home. Naturally we can’t just hop on the interstellar highway and hop off at our universe but hopefully science will think of something.

 

As they say, “Romulans, Klingons, Libido oh my!”