"Chemical Emotions"

[Cameryn Azri 0]

"Chemical Emotions"

Ensign Cameryn Azri, MD

Stardate 0407.19

___________________________

 

"What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head." ~ Maroon 5

 

 

Cameryn's body writhed beneath her covers. Little beads of perspiration seemed to envelop her body. Her mind was a whirl; hundreds of voices and emotions swirling around and causing a loud, distorted buzz that seemed to grow louder and louder. It was enough to wake her up with a start, sitting up straight in bed and heaving hard breaths. Her hand immediately went to her head, as it ached horribly and seem no less louder than it did in her slumber. It must be morning. She woke up like this everyday, a simple fact of life for her. The medication she took before bed was wearing off quickly. It always did after a night's sleep .. since the serratonin her body produced broke down it's properties rapidly. It was why she had to take it in the morning (so she could face the day) and at night so she didn't go completely crazy during the middle of the night. Sometimes she found it tiring, but it was how things were. There was a time she had desperately tried to learn how to control her own abilities, but was always overwhelmed by them to the point of insanity. The meds were simply easier. And no one had ever told her otherwise.

 

Cringing, she leaned over to her bedside table and opened a drawer, pulling out the hypospray that contained the 20cc's of the enotherizine. It was the little 'cocktail' she would consume that would settle her for the rest of the day. It suppressed her abilities nearly 70%, though it tended to fluctuate depending on her body's chemistry that day. She lifted the hypospray to her neck and injected it, the hypospray making it's normal hissing sound as it entered her bloodstream. Within a few moments her cringing disappeared and the thundering noise in her head became a very low humming mumble. She exhaled a bit and fell back onto her pillow, wiping her forehead dry with her hand.

 

Cameryn had to tell herself daily that this was worth it. Without the drugs she could easily change into a completely different person. The doctors at the institute told her so. And the Academy doctors didn't seem to argue much about it. As long as she behaved and excelled and followed the directions .. she was fine to them. But she had to wonder if this was really her .... or was she just a girl walking around with chemical emotions.