Assistant Science Officers Log Stardate 0302.4

[Travis Kroells 0]

Kroells Family archive: entry 178

 

 

My Great Grandfather started this archive back in 2260.  I never really had a reason to put an entry in… my dad said that this archive wasn’t no log…it was one of the few places that a person can write down what he really thinks.  Most of the things in here are comments and/or criticism of fellow crew members’ commanding officers decisions and the other more personal things that most people wouldn’t put in their logs.  These last few days I have begun to question my role on this ship more and more.  I feel like they don’t let me do my role as a science officer.  The incident on the last away mission I was on for instance.  I had been so close to making first contact with that creature.  But it just doesn’t work that way…something’s always holding me back…Commander Ridire…I just cant understand him…there’s just something about him that I cant place my finger on…its like he has no sense of adventure.  My grandfather taught me that there were two kinds of explorers.  The humans were the kind of people who jumped into the unknown with both feet willing to take the risk in the name of science.  Great men like Archer, Kirk, and Picard. And then there are the Vulcans.  Always holding back, conducting scan after scan to see if the area is interesting enough to explore, and wasting time with the details.  The only person who I believe fits that description is Ridire.  I look at my uniform, my pips, and my communicator and I’m disgusted.  We’ve become the Vulcans that my grandfather talked about.  I look at my communicator and see my reflection.  They say that it represents the soul of Starfleet.  But I see the self pity for making the choices that I’ve made.  I’ve come to the realization that there is no Starfleet any more.  Only yes men and the people that they hold back.  I look into the reflection of my self and I can see it happening…I remember the times I didn’t care about the rules I did what I wanted to advance my knowledge.  I stare into that once youthful reflection and I say…is this really worth it?

 

End archive entry 178