"Past Decisions"

[FredM 0]

"An executive is a person who always decides;

sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides."

- John H. Patterson

 

 

Fred glanced out the window, his arms folded behind him, attempting to focus on one of the many stars that zoomed past the ship. They were rather unfamiliar stars, but soon would be replaced by ones he had seen so many times before. It was rather odd for him to be seeing them again, it had in fact been very difficult to leave their gaze the first time.

 

When Lieutenant Commander Fred Michaels had departed the Odyssey eight years ago for an assignment with the Starfleet Corp. of Engineers, he had envisioned his career within the main fleet coming to an end. Instead, he would focus on the development of new starship technologies and reviewing their practical testing. He had been pleased with his assignment on Pluto, even gathering his first command of a starship there. Mind you, she wasn't active within the main fleet, but it was a command nonetheless. Yet, this tenure was to focus on engineering improvements and whether or not a particular upgrade was practical. Decisions made were sometimes life or death, but technical in nature.

 

Yet, this posting had been cut short by the Dominion War. It had forced his first command to be moved into active service within Starfleet. Almost unexpectedly, Michaels found himself where he had always wanted to be. While no longer her CO, he was the Chief Engineer of a starship...his ship. The S.D.P. Vessel 291, now named the U.S.S. Valkyrie, had been an Intrepid class design. Not the largest in the fleet, but it was one of the ships he had fallen in love with. He had practically disassembled the ship ten times, ripped apart her engine more times than he could count and now he would have the honor of being the one who would manipulate her during countless missions. No longer would the lady be confined to spaces near Pluto, she would be doing what a ship was meant to do.

 

The change was bitter sweat. Fred Michaels' career was taking another drastic turn, one he had not expected nor necessarily initially approved of. He had become comfortable with his lot in life with the Starfleet Corp. of Engineers Starship Development Program. Now, he would be going back to where he had been...putting aside of the mental concessions he had made. Being an engineer is all he had ever wanted to do, all he ever wanted to be. At least now, he thought at the time, it would be more of an adventure than before. He would once again be going around the cosmos, part of the action instead of sitting in the same test areas.

 

However, within a year and a half Fred would find himself seeking further accomplishments. They were ones deep space was simply not providing. Adventures of technological advancement, design and application were not something normally found in deep space. Several days after his promotion to the rank of Commander, Michaels had come to a shocking conclusion. He had simply lost his ability to find wonder in exploration. It had not been anyone's fault and had been an amazing ride the CENG would not have missed for the world. Yet, when he had served as the Assistant Chief Engineer aboard the Odyssey, the mystery...the magic...the awe of what made the galaxy what it was had been intense. As a Chief Engineer four years later, something was missing.

 

It had been here, four years in the past, Commander Fred Michaels had retired from active service and entered the reserves of the Starfleet Corp. of Engineers. The purpose for him being within Starfleet had been lost. The time had come to move onto bigger and perhaps more fulfilling things. It took a little over a month for Fred to realize he was wrong.

 

He returned to service before that year had concluded, ending up heading an engineering refit team for the Starfleet Corp. of Engineers in their major center in Houston on Earth. It was an assignment the Commander saw as something of a challenge and slowly started to reinvigorate his sense of purpose. The work, while different, was similar and as fulfilling as what he had done on Pluto. Yet this posting was not meant to be.

 

It was something that haunted Fred Michaels every day since.

 

It had been a February afternoon when an Ensign reported an urgent message from a Commodore at Starfleet Command. Such calls did not require answering to realize what they meant. Forty-eight hours later, the engineer had been stripped of his tool belt and promoted to the rank of Captain. He was en route to Utopia Planetia, technically placed in command of a ship which had been so heavily damaged she was scheduled to be decommissioned fifteen days later. In the end, he would find himself sitting reluctantly in the center seat of a Steamrunner class ship called the U.S.S. Phoenix.

 

The ship itself was a remarkable machine, a fifty year old design that had been renovated for use with modern technologies. Captain Fred Michaels had taken command of a ship he did not exactly wish to have, yet what was one supposed to do? You simply didn't ignore orders from Starfleet Command, yet they had signaled his end doing what he loved. No longer would he be sitting in the engine room of a starship, ensuring the vessel was capable of doing whatever miracle the Captain demanded. He would not be the master of that vessel, the one demanding the impossible and not understanding why it took so long to accomplish. It was a feeling Fred had never felt before, but theorized would not be felt again until he was faced with the death of his mother at some future date.

 

The Phoenix transition was a rocky one, a command which would not even last eight months. While those aboard were indeed talented individuals, the spirit of the ship was one in which he could never seem to meld with. His Executive Officer had been an amazing individual, but he had spent many days in arguments with her over what Michaels saw as clear policy. Yet, as an old expression goes, when one door closes another one opens.

 

It was here he had entered what he hated, the political ball game, and hit a home run. Here, he had been granted authorization for a transfer. Unlike with the Phoenix, he would join a new ship...with an entirely new crew. Luckily he would have the honor of bringing some officers with him from his former assignment. These few, mixed with other faces of the past, would become his foundation aboard this new ship, this refitted Ambassador class vessel named the U.S.S. Reaent.

 

He had now been the master of this vessel for two and a half years, since her launch from Utopia Planetia. Yet as Captain Michaels stared at the stars, he found himself wishing for time to stand still. He desired a return to times gone by, with an attempt to repeat things again. His departure from the Odyssey, the Valkyrie, his acceptance of promotion for the Phoenix....had they been worth it?

 

It was a question Fred had delayed attempting to answer for many years. As the Reaent flew closer and closer to Earth, it was one he found he couldn't avoid. Being potentially trapped ten years from home had not exactly been on his list of things to accomplish when he had initially graduated from the Academy. Yet even now, most of his classmates were either dead or had retired.

 

Even during the Reaent's past mission, Fred had been forced to stop himself from resisting the urge to head down to engineering to solve the problems the ship was dealing with. Even after four years in command, he felt like a stranger sitting in the center seat. Now it was not as difficult as it had been in the beginning, but the feeling still remained. It was not something he could explain, but something which reopened the old wound.

 

As the ship continued at warp seven, the question Fred Michaels had not been able to answer in five years returned: Was it worth it?

 

It was then that a thought which had never previously existed entered his mind. The sensation had apparently come out of no where. The Captain shook his head slightly and chuckled. Smiling slightly he glanced back out the window and folded his arms.

 

Was it worth it? "Damn right it was...", he muttered softly. He would always be an engineer at heart, something which would never change. Yet now, perhaps he could finally come to accept that he could also be a Captain at the same time.