N'Dak...Evil?

[NDak 0]

For Insurance purposes we need to see if I am evil or not...its a deductable on my Insurance becuase it makes me like them... :)

Edited March 17, 2004 by Ern_Ndak

[R'Tor Bat'ok 0]

Of course Dak is evil, just look at his academy survival rates, and if that doesn't convince you, then have a guest tour on the talon where you will enjoy his hostile services.

Edited March 17, 2004 by R'Tor Bat'ok

[Grom 0]

Dak is a gentle individual, full of energy and joy. He would never do anything that would constitute evil. He's a genuine Martha Stewart...err...

 

::blinks::

[NDak 0]

Of course Dak is evil, just look at his academy survival rates, and if that doesn't convince you, then offer to that a guest tour on the talon enjoying his hostile services.

::batting eyes all in innocently::

 

9-18-2 on the survival rate if I am XO and 2-7 if i am CO :)

 

as for the Talon Guest Tour....well nevermind that...::evil smirk::

Edited March 17, 2004 by Ern_Ndak

[Dumbass 0]

Well I usually don't get my temperature taken. I can tell by the burning in my eyes whether I have a fever or not.

 

And as for Martha Stewart, I think she got a bad rap. Her broker gave her some information, which is the only reason to hire a broker in the first place. He told her that the CEO of IMClone was selling his company stock, which is information that should have been made public anyway, and would have been if IMClone was a larger company. She said "Well, if it falls below $60 a share then dump it." These kinds of deals are not illegal. They are routine, and it is something you can even program a computer to automatically transact for you.

 

Sure acting on inside financial information is insider trading, and is illegal, but is it any different ethically from the person who has a friend who works at a clothing store who says "Don't buy that jacket you were looking at. It will go on sale next week."? That is taking advantage of inside information as well. Martha Stewart is small potatoes compared to the Enrons, Andersens, WorldComs, HealthSouths, and other examples of corporate malfesance who do not have former CEOS facing jail time (yet).

 

And what of marthastewart.com? Martha Stewart, as an individual, entered into the IMClone transaction using her own money. Marthastewart.com was not involved in any way. When the insider trading was exposed, however, the stock of marthastewart.com sunk - even though it was a profitable company during a recession when people don't have a lot of money to spend on housewares, etc.

 

I'm no fan of Martha Stewart, but sending her to jail for acting on inside information is like issuing speeding tickets at a NASCAR event.

 

Oh, well, at least the prison food will be better. And who knows, with a few curtains and throwpillows... :)

Edited March 17, 2004 by Dumbass

[FredM 0]

Hey there,

 

And dare I ask we at least try to remotely remain on the topic at hand? Is N'Dak evil, not the legal action against Martha Stewart, eh? :)

[John_Anderson 0]

::Dies laughing at Fred's comment:: Thanks Freddie. :P

 

Well of course Dak is evil, he opitimizes evil. When you look up 'Evil' in the dictionary there is Dak's mug.

 

I mean look who he bases his evilness off of. Sesshomaru.......You'd have to be Dutch to be more evil than that :)

 

P.S. You can get a cookie if ya name the movie where I got the Dutch line from. :P

Edited March 17, 2004 by John_Anderson

[Dumbass 0]

N'Dak is evil. Happy Fred?

[STSF_BluRox 0]

No...not yet. However given time and proper mentoring, he may one day achieve a place in our realm. I was thinking under my boot specifically, but...hey, it's still the same plane... For now, I will designate him...Little Evil, the adjective in progress. I will retain the noun for my own usage.

 

Evil adjective

1. Morally objectionable: He’s working on it, not quite there yet… perhaps in time.

2. Causing harm or injury: Again….working on it, needs to quit helping others...

3. Extremely unpleasant to the senses or feelings. Ok..I think he may just about

have this one mastered. That, or he needs a change of socks.

4. Bringing, predicting or characterized by misfortune. ::I have 5 special skull dice

that I roll for any action involving nDak. He has on occassion, whimpered.

Whimpering is not evil. Needs improvement, and a set if dice to show

indifference.

5. Characterized by intense ill will or spite. Spite is a learned talent....improves

with aging...

 

 

Evil noun

1. That which is morally bad or objectionable. Where are my dice!? It's cadet

chompin time!! Republic - What do you mean you have problems with my

turning your character into a (crab/spider-wasp/mindless zombie...oh wait,

that's Randy) Talon - They're all spies, no wonder the Praetor hit her with that

rice bowl!!

2. Whatever is destructive or harmful - Hmm, Cadets! Oh look, my friends the

Padarians!

3. The cause of suffering of harm - Man, I love working the academies!! Advanced

ships...get your counselors warmed up for this batch!!

4. A wicked act. - Oh, bummer.....you're ship just imploded!! Pause sim... Yes, I

know it's only 5 minutes into the sim......muhahahaha.

 

Quoting Winston Churchill, "Age and treachery will win out over youth and skill every time."

Edited March 17, 2004 by STSF_BluRox

[STSF_BluRox 0]

Recently Dumbass pulled out one of those oldie but goodie trek jokes that occasionally makes the rounds, and always makes you laugh. Thanks again!! Anyway, to go along with 'this' thread, here's one of my old favorites, that...ok, I keep it besides my desk, to remind me of some of these points daily. There are a few versions of this that make the rounds, the one with 150 listed, actually splits some of these in two, and another one that isnt' quite appropriate, but here is a copy of one of the original lists. N'Dak..take note. Learn and enjoy all.

 

100 Rules to Being an Evil Overlord

 

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end.

 

I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, if I ever happen to become an Evil Overlord:

 

1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-

concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept

anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of

Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be

in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one

weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you

afraid without your armies to back you up?'' My reply will be, "No, just

sensible.''

8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, ``Look, before you kill me,

will you at least tell me what this is all about?'' I'll say, ``No.'' and shoot him.

9. After I kidnap the handsome prince/beautiful princess, we will be married

immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks'

time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is

necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled ``Danger: Do Not Push''.

The big red button marked ``Do Not Push'' will instead trigger a spray of

bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch

will not clearly be labeled as such.

 

11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to

overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.

12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well

outside my borders will work just as well.

13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by

leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to

show they pose no threat.

14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident -- I'm

not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.

15. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy''; I simply

choose not show them any.

16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my

plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

17. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of

ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The

announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will

be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of

my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to

any other dress codes.

19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of

last request.

20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a

device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter

reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

 

21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to

assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his

evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.

22. I will never utter the sentence ``But before I kill you, there's just one thing I

want to know.''

23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

24. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp

power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point

in time.

25. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one

look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own

father/mother.

26. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal

laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments

that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my

legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look

like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All

were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive

mind-set.

28. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not

consume any energy field bigger than my head.

29. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their

use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator

and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not

be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

30. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even

though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the

line ``No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!'' (After that, death is usually

instantaneous.)

 

31. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of

machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually

inaccessible vulnerable spot.

32. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is

probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me.

Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my

bedchamber.

33. I will never build only one of anything important. For the same reason I will

always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

34. If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will immediately

flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct the defenses from there.

I will not wait until the troops break into my inner sanctum to attempt this.

35. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and

into which I could not accidentally stumble.

36. Even though I don't really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire

engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am

slain, it won't tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.

37. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into

confusion.

38. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly

thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely give

up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

39. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly,

world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or

romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

40. Any and all magic and/or technology that can miraculously resurrect a

secondary character who has given up his/her life through self sacrifice will

be outlawed and destroyed.

 

41. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to

illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

42. I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and with the

accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some monument in the main

square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my power,

rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be jaded in case

the real thing ever comes along.

43. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a

stainless-steel bustier. Men won't have to wear steel cod-pieces either. Morale

is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from

black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

44. I will not employ devious schemes that involve the hero's party getting into

my inner sanctum before the trap is sprung.

45. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

46. I will not have my lackey's grow a goatee. In the old days they made you

look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of

Generation X.

47. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let

alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key

to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-

rung guard in the prison.

48. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will

believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

49. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I

will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them

to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

50. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of

my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his

army.

 

51. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super

weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in

reserve.

52. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

53. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being executed.

54. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret,

or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching

keys happens to follow him around.

55. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the

handsome/beautiful rebel and he/she claims that he/she is attracted to my

power and good looks and will gladly betray his/her companions if I just let

him/her in on my plans.

56. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for

the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the

other guy a sporting chance.

57. I will not rely entirely upon ``totally reliable'' spells that can be neutralized by

relatively inconspicuous talismen.

58. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in

my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my

weapon, point it at him, say ``And here is the price for failure,'' then suddenly

turn and kill some random underling.

59. If an advisor says to me ``My liege, he is but one man. What can one man

possibly do?'', I will reply ``This.'' and kill the advisor.

60. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him

while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

 

61. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect

and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come

after me for revenge.

62. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not

send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize

something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

63. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be

completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

64. I will make the main entrance to my fortress standard-sized. While elaborate

60-foot high double-doors definitely impress the masses, they are hard to

close quickly in an emergency.

65. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in

the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-

oriented position.

66. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my

castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I

might not know about.

67. If the beautiful princess/handsome prince that I captures says ``I'll never

marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!'', I will say ``Oh well'' and kill

her/him.

68. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it

simply because I feel like being contrary.

69. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my

Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert

missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else

equally qualified who would attract less attention.

70. My legions of terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot

learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

 

71. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read

the owner's manual.

72. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically

and toss off a one-liner.

73. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

74. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am

thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be

used.

75. If my advisors ask ``Why are you risking everything on such a mad

scheme?'', I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

76. I will never accept a challenge from the hero.

77. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural

supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

78. I will not engage an enemy single-handedly until all my soldiers are dead.

79. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be

kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible

tunnels at predictable intervals.

 

80. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual

phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a

disadvantage.

81. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the

maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the

Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual

main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

82. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches

someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then

subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm

system.

83. If I capture the hero's starship, I will keep it in the landing bay with the ramp

down, only a few token guards on duty and a ton of explosives set to go off as

soon as it clears the blast-range.

84. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be

instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale

emergency.

85. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only

reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one

time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life

again.

86. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at

state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not

abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

87. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in

groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears

mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and

call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

88. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a

trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case

the answer is no.

89. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to

taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my

unstoppable superweapon on them.

90. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even

though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

 

91. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-

year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk

``Project Overlord'' and leave it lying on top of my desk.

92. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of

standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a

time.

93. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with

him in an attempt to push him over the edge.

94. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to

reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until

my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

95. I will not tell my Legions of Terror ``And he must be taken alive!'' The

command will be ``And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical.''

96. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it

has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition

commemorative coins.

97. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops

instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and

closer to my fortress.

98. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and

am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will

drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

99. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will

provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

100. I will not utter the line "I AM ALL POWERFUL!! NOTHING CAN STOP ME

NOW!!!" for obvious reasons.

Edited March 17, 2004 by STSF_BluRox

[Dumbass 0]

18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of

my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to

any other dress codes.

 

27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my

legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look

like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All

were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive

mind-set.

OK, I figured out these two are self-conflicting, and I'm not even a 5-year old kid!

[STSF_BluRox 0]

18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.

 

27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

Now see.....that's why you're not evil.

 

There's a subtle difference between undercover agents, and legions of terror. Uniforms, would give away the undercover agents silly..... :) Then they wouldn't be undercover anymore!!

[Merina 0]

Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, EVIL N'dak.

Edited March 17, 2004 by pittykitty

[Dumbass 0]

There's a subtle difference between undercover agents, and legions of terror. Uniforms, would give away the undercover agents silly..... :) Then they wouldn't be undercover anymore!!

Why not just make them ALL undercover? That way the evil isn't traceable to you anyway.

[Seiben 0]

Yesh, N'Dak is an evil mudda, but not overly so. He's semi-evil, as Dr. evil would say. But he sure looks crunchy! :)

[Feanor 0]

Quoting Winston Churchill, "Age and treachery will win out over youth and skill every time."

 

Youth and skill plus a baseball bat on the other hand (or a general lack of conscience), tend to overmatch age and treachery combined.

Edited March 18, 2004 by Feanor

[Dumbass 0]

Youth and skill plus a baseball bat on the other hand (or a general lack of conscience), tend to overmatch age and treachery combined.

My favorite Churchill quote:

 

"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."

 

::sigh:: They just don't make leaders like that anymore.

Edited March 18, 2004 by Dumbass

[STSF_BluRox 0]

Yesh, N'Dak is an evil mudda, but not overly so. He's semi-evil, as Dr. evil would say. But he sure looks crunchy! :)

No...no...that's "Quasi-evil. Semi-evil. The margarine of evil. The Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough."

 

But I draw the line, at calling him 'mini'me"

[Captain Huff 0]

lol, okay here's a way to gain insight... N'Dak... who was your favorite LOTR character?

[NDak 0]

lol, okay here's a way to gain insight... N'Dak... who was your favorite LOTR character?

The Witch-King of the Nasgul :P

[Nemesis 0]

He's not evil, just stupid :P

[Feanor 0]

I've met evil, this N'Dak person isn't it. ^.^

 

Evil-Lite maybe.

[STSF_BluRox 0]

The Witch-King of the Nazgul :P

::pokes Mr Burns::::

 

Mr Burns> Excelllennnnttt....

[NDak 0]

::pokes Mr Burns::::

 

Mr Burns> Excelllennnnttt....

Does that make me Smithers? :P