A Shower? In my Ready Room!?

[Atragon9 0]

::Sitting in his Ready Room, trying to keep from looking at the wreckage of the shower and other personal systems installed there so long ago::

 

Computer, open personal log, Atragon-9, Commanding Officer , USS Manticore, NCC-5852, password *********

 

[whirr, click]

 

It's been a year since the warp core was lost, almost two since we've been marooned in the future. I have to keep believing that we can get back home, back to our home, but my faith is not as unquestioning as it should be. I have to be strong and sure for the others, but I don't know if it's working.

 

Some have a blind faith in going back and setting all things to the way they were. Some want to get back, but figure it will never go back to the way things were. Finally, there's a growing movement of people who simply want to stay here on the Earth, even if we get the ship fixed up and have a plan to get back. Those are the ones who worry me the most. They have spent the past year, or more, building permanent homes for themselves, tending to their "property" around the dwellings, setting up roads, water supplies and primitive plumbing, all without the aid of the replicators. They want to prove they can live here without Starfleet technology - and they are succeeding. Their lives are quite simple, but it IS working and they are enjoying themselves and trying to convert others to their cause. They are still pulling shifts on the ship and in the Deuterium field on the surface, but it may only be a matter of time before they simply forgo their Starfleet obligations and any need to follow chain of command.

 

I'm frightened, especially because I see Jami as someone who is almost ready to join them. She can't, she just can't!! She is our Second Officer, she is our Helm officer, former Chief of Science and of Medicine... she is my Wife!

 

::long pause::

 

How can I stop her though, really? What if we never get back, what if we die in space, what can I do to keep her in Starfleet - something that she has been shying away from for years, though she'd never admit to herself. If she decides to stay, I fear I will lose my credibility with the members of the crew wavering in their beliefs. If she decides to stay - how strongly do *I* believe? Do we stop trying to fix the ship and simply cannibalize its parts for a more comfortable living arrangements here? Is that really so bad? That may be in the best interest of the crew, after all, and that is my responsibility. We don't know what caused the Earth to be wiped clean, but it really is a fresh slate, a way for humans to start again here. Isn't that a noble endeavor worthy or our attention and our commitment, too?

 

I've got to be strong for the crew - but following what beliefs?

 

::longer pause::

 

Computer, EOM, EOT

 

[whirr, click]