A Conversation in Time

[Cmdr Ayers 0]

(Note:  This story, time wise, is set before last weeks game.)

 

      After the Captain adjourns the trial, Nick packs his belongings and heads for the door. He ignores the glare that Muon shoots him as well as the dark mutterings of the crowd.

 

      A few minutes later he enters his quarters. He removes his uniform jacket and is about to throw it across the room in a fit of frustration when a small Husky bounds in from the other room. The puppy barks softly and looks expectantly up at Nick. Nick picks the dog up and pets it, getting a lick in the face for the effort. He says "I suppose you want to run around, yes?"

 

      Nick retrieves a leash and attaches it to the puppy's collar. The puppy shakes uncomfortably causing Nick to smile. "I know you don't like it, Diamant, but we don't want you getting lost. Lord knows, some of the people on this station might consider you a delicacy."

 

      A few minutes later, he enters the holodeck after calling up a programmed recreation of a grassy field near his home on earth.  Nick removes the collar and then produces a tennis ball which he promptly throws.  As he watches Diamant retrieve the ball, Nick's thoughts turn back to the just concluded trial.  Up until now, he thought having to fill out crew reviews was the second worst part of the job.  Having to play ax-man and wreck someone's career had just jumped to the number two spot on the list..even if the person in question had largely brought it on himself.  Nor was it helping that most of the crew seemed to take Nick doing that part of his job as some sort of betrayal, as if Nick had wanted to do what he had done.

 

      Diamant brings the ball back and lays it at Nick's feet. Nick picks up the ball and scratches the dog behind the ears. He says "Well, at least your expectations of me are easy to figure out." He throws the ball again and the dog races after it. Nick mutters "And at least having to play Prosecutor is nowhere near as hellish as having to inform someone's next of kin about a death."

 

      As he finishes that thought, as if on cue, the door chime rings.

 

      Muon was in shock. She had lost the case and Mogg was leaving. She just couldn't believe it.

 

      She needed a distraction, somewhere to relax, so she headed to the holodeck.......only to discover that Ayers was already there. Glaring at

the entrance to the holodeck, she turns away to leave, then pauses. Perhaps it was time they talked. Got everything out into the open.  Maybe

that's what they both needed.

 

      Muon chimed the door to the holodeck, requesting permission to enter.

 

      Nick frowns slightly and stares down at the suddenly reappeared door. Shrugging he says "Computer, unlock and open the door." As the door opens he stands and throws the ball once again.

 

   As the door to the holodeck opens and Muon enters, a ball goes whizzing by followed by a small, barking furry beast of some kind. Sensing no immediate danger from either the ball or beast, she continues into the holodeck until she sees Ayers. He looks none to happy to see her but at this point, Quark doesn't care. She's tired, angry and wanting some answers. She briefly glances at what she now knows to be a dog

and then walks over to Ayers.

 

   "Forgive my intrusion Commander but we need to talk."

 

      Nick studies her for a few seconds then nods "As you wish."  As Muon approaches, Nick once again throws the ball.  Finally Nick says "What did you wish to talk about? Though I can take a guess. Oh..and permission is granted to speak freely."

 

     Muon nods, grateful to be able to talk about the trial.  "I don't understand what happened Commander......to the trial, to the Captain, to you.... not any of it.  I was so sure......"  Muon shakes her head unable to find the words. 

 

      Whatever Nick had expected Muon to say, it wasn't that.  "I can't speak for the Captain but I'll try to speak about the rest of your question.  First, know this, you did your best during the trial, Lieutenant, no one can fault you for that.  You were handed a next to impossible task and you nearly pulled it off.  Take some heart in the fact that Mogg is not yet out of Starfleet permanently.  If he can show some remorse for his actions and assuming his..condition can be cured he should be allowed to return to active duty.  However, if he does I wouldn't assume that he'd be allowed back here.  I could be wrong on that and only time will tell.  He was here for the wrong reasons, Lieutenant, and he knew what those reasons were before he did what he did.  We are here to help the Cardassians rebuild...he was here to gloat in the name of a personal understandable revenge.  The problem you faced in your case was that he acted on his desire for revenge coupled with the fact that you were trying to argue two incompatible ideas.  That his mental trauma was so deep that no one, not even the best and brightest at the Academy could detect it.  Plus you were also trying to argue that his mental trauma could be cured.  If his mental trauma is buried so deep then the chances of it being curable are not that great.  Then there was the fact that he knew about it beforehand which was the opposite of what you were arguing.  Image's bringing that up did not help your case at all."  

 

      Nick shakes his head and his voice takes on a dark and sad tone "There isn't an El Aurian on this plane of existence that doesn't somewhere deep down inside them harbor the wish to wipe the Borg out of existence and that includes myself.  They took our home, our civilization.  Since they couldn't assimilate us they slaughtered most of us leaving the rest to be little more then beggars on the Universe.  They robbed us of our place in the Universe, our glory and our pride.  In a way the Borg took part of our souls.  Yes, the deepest darkest part of what remains of our souls screams for revenge, for the ability to do to them what they tried to do to us.  Most of us recognize though that if we did so we would become the monsters that they are.  That the line that we dare not cross lest we become even more lost then the Borg are is the line that separates us from the hatred deep down in our souls.

 

      "Mogg doesn't see that line, at least not yet, and if he doesn't choose to stop himself or if he isn't stopped he will become the monster that he believes the Cardassians are.  For that reason he couldn't be allowed to remain.  This station and the work we are doing are far too important to risk letting one act of hatred grow into something more, even if the act of hatred was petty."

 

      "As for my role during the trial, I did my job and nothing more.  I took no pleasure in it and I wish to whatever gods exist that it had never come to pass.  Part of me feels like I betrayed a member of the crew and I have yet to figure out how I'm going to deal with that feeling.  And I know that quite a significant portion of the crew also thinks that I betrayed one of their own.  I don't know how I'm going to deal with that yet either.  For the immediate future the trial and it's results will be a barrier that will exist between most of the crew and myself.  Doctor Images, for one, is dead sure that my cross-examination of his testimony was a personal insult and I'm pretty sure that I'm not high on your list of favorite people right now either.  However, none of that changes the fact that I did not hold Mogg to a standard that was different then I would have held anyone else...including myself.  He made his choice and now he has to face the consequences for it.  Even I find that a damn bitter pill to swallow right now but no matter what I or anyone else thinks of it that is the truth."

 

      Muon frowns darkly and says "So what you're basically saying, Commander, is Que Sera Sera."

 

      Nick shakes his head and replies "Not all.  However, at this point the trial is over, Lieutenant.  I know you're hurt and angry and that Mogg is probably bloody mad.  And if I had a magic wand I'd let you use it to change what happened.  That is not going to happen though.  You did your best, there is nothing more you could have done.  I do have a suggestion for you.  Contact the Judge Advocate General's office at San Francisco and try to get somewhere there to review Mogg's situation."

 

      Muon replies tiredly "Personally, I think I was 'railroaded,' as you humons say, so maybe I will."

 

      Nick sighs "Believe what you want.  It will be a long time until any of us put this experience behind us.  However, you need to figure out a way to deal with your personal emotions concerning this.  If that means you have to set up a holodeck program where you take on a group of mad Klingons then so be it.  If you don't do something to rein in your anger, Lieutenant, you're going to make the same mistake as Mogg.  You will let your heart...your temper make a decision that your mind wouldn't have made.  No matter what you think of what happened, Mogg brought it upon himself.  If Starfleet was in the business of revenge we would not be here on this station."

 

      Muon narrows her eyes "Well that's where we disagree, Commander.  And we always will.  While some of it was Mogg's fault to be sure, some of it was not.  He's ill Commander."  With that, she turns and heads for the exit.

 

      Nick says to her retreating form "That may be.  The fact remains though, that illness may be the reason for what did but it doesn't condone or excuse it.  And it's all the more reason why he couldn't be allowed to stay, Lieutenant."

 

      Muon pauses at the doorway and says over her shoulder "Then we all might as well go to jail."  With that angry pronouncement, she steps through the doors out of sight.

 

      Nick watches the doors close and sighs to himself, wondering how the Station was going to survive this schism.