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A Davis

"Nightmares"

Nightmares

Kat and Amanda

 

Kat was worried. She was still having nightmares about the attacks on the station so she decided to go have a chat with Amanda. It was hard enough to admit that she was injured and needed treatment for her leg, but this was even harder for her to admit. She finally brought herself to call.

 

"Dr. Schawsee to Dr. Davis."

 

"This is Amanda. How can I help you, Kat?"

 

"Dr. Davis, I’m having an issue that I need your assistance with. Can I meet you someplace? Or in your office?" Sweat started to bead on her forehead she was so nervous.

 

"Of course, Kat," she replied, "but if it's a private matter, it's probably best we meet in the office. Otherwise, we can go to the shipyard’s coffee house."

 

"Thank you. I'll come to your office. I'm a bit embarrased. Can I meet you in about,” Kat wiped her brow as she looked at the chronometer on the wall in her tiny quarters, “five minutes?"

 

"Five minutes will be fine. See you then."

 

"Thank you, Doc. Schawnsee out." Kat tapped her badge once more, shutting off the channel as she took a deep breath and began to talk to herself. “See, it wasn’t so hard. Now go face it. It’s just Amanda.”

 

After brushing her hair and pulling it back into a neat ponytail, she headed down to Amanda’s office, stopped at the door, nervously straightened her uniform, and rang the chime.

 

As usual, Amanda had readied the tea pot and set out an assortment of freshly made finger sandwiches and scones. Sometimes patients wanted something, sometimes they didn't, but she did like to be prepared. Amanda had just enough time to fill the teapot before the door chimed. By the time Amanda reached the door the tea’s aroma had spread throughout the tiny office the shipyard officer had so graciously afforded her.

 

"Amanda you always have it smelling so good in here,” said Kat as she stepped in.

 

"Oh, I love the smell of steeping tea,” Amanda replied. “It gives the room a cozy feel, like the private Victorian tea rooms in Wales. Nijil brought me some lovely artisan teas that his parents grow on TKR-117. It’s that beautiful tea you smell. Would you like some?”

 

“Tea? That would be great, Thank you."

 

Setting the tea tray on a tiny table between them, she poured them each a cup, then offered milk and sugar. “Scone? Finger sandwich?”

 

Kat took a seat in front of the table with all of the goodies and teas on it. "No, thank you, but I would like sugar please." Kat took a spoonful of sugar and placed it in the cup of tea that had been poured for her. "You didn’t have to do this for me, Amanda. Thank you ever so much."

 

“Oh, I enjoy it, Kat, and I especially enjoy it with friends."

After settling in with a few sips and idle talk, Amanda opened the conversation. "You said you wanted to discuss something?"

 

"Well, I do not come as only a friend today. I ...." Kat took a sip before continuing. “Yes, I do." Kat sat the cup back down and looked directly to Amanda.

 

"I'm having nightmares, Amanda. They have been going on for over a month. The only way I can relieve myself of them is to give myself a good dose of a sleep aide. I have to admit I have done it a few times because I’ve fallen asleep at my console in Sickbay. I can’t keep doing that. I need your help."

 

There. She said it. It was all out on the table. Now she just hoped that Amanda didn’t turn her in for scripting her own drugs out of Sickbay.

 

"What kind of nightmares, Kat?" asked Amanda, concerned.

 

"Bad ones, REAL Bad ones. So bad that I wake up screaming and sweating profusely. My bed covers are soaked. I'm shivering, shaking and can not go back to sleep. Every time I close my eyes again all I can see is the Children’s area getting blown to smithereens and the children getting sucked out into space. I know it’s not real, but I can’t get past it."

 

Kat had begun to sweat and shake. Amanda took a moment to let her settle down so she could think.

"What do you believe triggers these nightmares, Kat?"

 

The doctor shook her head. "I wish I knew. I'll go to bed tired, thinking I'll get a good night’s sleep, but I’ll be asleep for maybe an hour to an hour and a half, and then wake up shaking, shivering and sweating so bad that I end up having to change my covers they are so wet. Amanda,” she said in exasperation, “I don’t know what to do. Like I said, I do not want to continue using the sleep aides."

 

"Well," Amanda ventured after considering her tea for a moment, "I do believe you're right in not wanting to use sleep aids. We both know how unwise that can be, so we won't even discuss it..."

 

Amanda paused, like she was thinking and Kat wondered if she had caught that she had already used them before coming to her. But if she didn't she wasn't going to tell on herself again. She continued to listen and began to calm herself down. Once again she picked up the cup of tea and took a few more sips as Amanda continued her thought.

 

"... but I believe it’s important for you to know that you’re not the only one plagued with nightmares. Most of the station’s crew have come to me lately for help in that regard. We’ve experienced many forms of trauma over the last few months and nightmares are a normal reaction to trauma. They are products of the subconscious processing waking moments while we sleep. Your nightmare is about the children probably because you love them and are concerned for their welfare; you’re worried that they will be injured, or worse. You want to protect them."

 

"But I know that we are all safe now,” said Kat, “so why can’t I stop having them, or at least not have such vivid ones? In a few days we will have the new station. I can’t keep going on being so tired that I fall asleep at my console."

 

"First, Kat, just because your conscious mind knows you’re safe doesn’t mean your subconscious does. Constant replaying of the trauma is the brain’s way of protecting you from harm in case it happens again. How do we deal with this? We find a way to reduce your conscious mental stress level, which, in turn, will improve your sense of well-being and help convince your subconscious that everything is under control.

 

“You’ve already taken the first step by talking about it. Something else that might help is regular exercise; it increases the concentration of norepinephrine, the chemical that moderates the brain’s response to stress. If your knee is well enough, you can begin a regular exercise regimen."

 

She was about to continue, but she paused to eye Kat suspiciously. "One of the best things you can do is to get away for a while,” she said firmly. “Kat, are you allowing yourself some time away from the children, some time to take care of yourself?"

 

"I am, Yes. I do have my other duties and other patients. I can be so tired that as soon as my head hits the pillow I'm out of it. Then I wake myself up with the screaming as we are being blown up all over again. When I look at the clock on the wall I notice that I have only been asleep for about an hour to an hour and a half." Kat sat back in the chair and took a deep breath trying to calm herself back down, feeling she has been yelling even though she hadn't.

 

“Kat,” Amanda shook her head, gently chiding, “going to other patients is not getting away. You must get away from your duties entirely. At least once a day you must take time to be completely away from sick bay and the children so you can relax and clear your mind. Not only will the nightmares subside, but you will be a better doctor for it.

 

“Stroll through the garden here, go to coffee with a friend, get completely away, perhaps in the holodeck they have set up for Aegis crew. Interaction with outside friends in relaxing places will allow your mind to rest."

 

"No I have not done that,” Kat responded after a bit. “I am not a social person, Amanda. I finish my duties, sometimes go check on the kids. Sometimes I don’t if I am really tired. Then I go to my quarters and just try to rest. If I’m not tired I’ll go to the gym, work out a bit, then go sit in a hot bath and then turn in. This is what I do."

 

"Tell you what, Kat." Amanda put down her cup and rested her hands in her lap. "I’ve also had a problem with getting away, and I certainly would enjoy company. For the next week, if you will allow me, I'll come get you for a stroll in the holodeck. I'll show you my home in Wales and you can show me your home in the woods of Old Kentucky. It will do us both some good. After a week, if that doesn’t help, we'll try something else. Agreed?"

 

"Do you think that will make them stop? I mean I waited to come to you until they are almost debilitating. But if you think it will work I'll give it a shot." Kat replied uneasily. "I guess that all I can do it try, isn't it?"

 

"I believe it's a step in the right direction.” Amanda’s face brightened. “And while we walk through the woods of Kentucky and along the seashore of Wales we can talk and perhaps relieve ourselves of the burdens we've both been carrying."

 

"Alright. I'll give it a try if you think it will work. When do you want to start this?"

 

“How about this afternoon."

 

Kat thought for a moment then agreed. "OK I'll give you a call once I complete my rounds this afternoon." Kat took the cup and finished off her tea. "Thank you for the time, Amanda. I really appreciate it."

Edited by A Davis

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