Folding

[Cptn Swain 0]

A Joint Log Between Captain Asher Swain and Commander Tandaris Admiran

 

“Then let me go,” Tandaris Admiran said, a tinge of desperation in his voice. “I can go by myself and set up the...”

 

“Absolutely not,” Asher Swain said firmly. “As the Commander just pointed out, there’s a quarantine in place.” He was about to add something else but paused, reconsidering. Then, in a softer, gentler tone: “I understand you’re upset. I understand that you’re blaming yourself for the incident on the Augustine...”

 

“It’s not just...”

 

Swain held a hand up. “Really, I understand.”

 

“I don’t think you do,” Admiran said. “It’s not just that. It’s... it’s the...” He stopped mid-sentence, not sure how to convey what this discovery meant. But he knew they couldn’t pass it up—that he didn’t want to pass it up. “You have to let me do this.”

 

Only beginning to realize just how fragile his chief engineer’s state of mind truly was, Swain considered just how to respond. “Tandaris,” he said. “I understand that this is very important to you, but Wydown is right. I am not going to put the safety of the crew in jeopardy to relieve your guilt.”

 

“What about the crew of the Augustine” Tandaris questioned. “We can’t just let them have died for nothing. What are you going to tell your friend’s widow...”

 

Swain grimaced. “That Charlie died doing what he’d dedicated his life to doing...”

 

“But what does that even mean? Captain, his death is meaningless without something coming out of this mission and you know it. We don’t even know how they died. It can’t end this way.”

 

“But it will,” Swain said lowly. “How many more people have to die, Tandaris? How many more lives need to be endangered before the rest mean something? No, I’ve made my decision. We’ll report this finding to Camelot with everything else and let them decide what to do about it. Once we’ve demo’d the Augustine and deployed quarantine buoys, we’re leaving.”

 

Sullen silence soaked into the ready room. Tandaris had pleaded his case, to no avail. The rational part of him knew that Swain was right, that this was a fool’s errand—all things considered—no matter how interesting it might be. But it galled him to be this close to something … worthwhile … and not be able to go after it.

 

Swain could see the conflicting emotions flicker across Tandaris’ face. Nothing about this mission had gone as expected, and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that it had taken too high a toll on the crew’s morale for so little reward. He knew he was making the right call—didn’t mean he had to be happy about it.

 

“It’s over Admiran. We’re going home.”