Waking Dream

[Cmdr Ridire 0]

By: Dr. Matthews & Cmdr Ridire

 

 

As Aidan reads through his supposed service record that the Doctor provided he isn’t sure to believe it or not. Surely he’d remember all this..wouldn’t he? There was nine years worth of accomplishments and events here in this padd he’s holding and for the life of him he doesn’t remember any of it. Part of him wants to believe it’s true..the other part of him wants to think it’s all some elaborate charade. Though to what end he has no idea. He sighs inwardly, wishing that Nick or Fiona were here to explain things to him. Or his family. He had never felt so alone in his life. Except....

 

Deb stood beside and slightly behind Rocco Studly. They were both lingering at the foot of Aidan's biobed. The CMO wanted the patient to understand that Studly was the primary physician handling this case. Deb was there strictly as a.....as a what? she wondered silently. Consultant....yes! That's what she was....a consultant.

 

Both she and Rocco watched quietly as Aidan perused his service record. He started out supremely confident....confident this was all some sort of a weird mistake or a joke or, worse yet, an outright lie by the medical personnel now surrounding him. It didn't take long for doubt to ruffle that confidence, the change in attitude reflected in Aidan's gorgeous emerald green eyes. That was quickly followed by something else Deb had rarely seen in her husband. Its presence was only briefly exhibited, again in his eyes. Then it was just as quickly extinguished. Deb was reluctant to acknowledge it had even been there. But she knew better. She knew fear when she saw it. She'd witnessed it often enough in more patients than she could possibly count. No, it was there....carefully under control but it was still there.

 

He frowns and brings his left hand up in front of his face. For a long minute he stares at ring there on his ring finger. Turning his attention back to the padd he has it bring up the second page of the service record where there was a listing of his family...including his wife, apparently. It included a picture of her though he doesn’t read anything more about her because he realizes he’d already seen her. He looks up again at the woman standing behind the Doctor and again, like when he first noticed her, while he doesn’t recognize her..something makes his heart pause momentarily. "You..."

 

Deb knew exactly what Aidan meant by his one word statement. She'd been wondering how he would deal with this sudden revelation and had been expecting almost anything. His eyes told her he was confused and frustrated and yes, a bit scared as well. "Blessed hell", she thought. I'd feel the same way if I was in his position.

 

Now the ball was in her court. She had no plan for handling this so she followed her instincts. Smiling gently, she moved to the side of the biobed, silently signaling Studly to hang around. Aidan's gaze never faltered. She forced herself to keep her hands at her side then spoke softly to their patient. "I'm Dr. Deborah Matthews. Everyone calls me Deb. I'm the Chief Medical Officer aboard Reaent." He was staring right through her and she had to take a deep breath before continuing. "And, I'm your wife."

 

Aidan had long ago read the story of Rip Van Winkle but now he understands what it would have felt like if one could sleep for twenty years. Nearly ten years had apparently disappeared from his mind. Ten years on a ship he no longer knew with a crew that he didn’t know either. A wife he didn’t recognize and..yet when he looked at her... He sighs and shakes his head, letting himself fall back onto the bed. He murmurs "This feels like a dream..." as he rubs his forehead. He glances at Deb and asks "Are my parents still alive? And is Ciara okay?" He pauses and frowns slightly "And would you mind filling me in more?"

 

She considered his response......encouraging. "At least he didn't try to jump out of bed and run for the door," thought Deb while looking around for something to sit on. She spotted a nearby stool and quickly retrieved it. "Your parents are both alive and in good health," she replied calmly as she sat down. She wanted to touch him, to pat his arm or hold his hand. She wanted to reassure him everything would be okay, but feared it was much too soon for that. Things weren't okay right now and she had no idea when the situation might change....if ever. "Ciara is well. Last we heard, she has yet another boyfriend. It looks like she's genuinely fond of this one." Deb shook her head slightly and grinned. "But she said the same thing about the last two so we'll have to wait and see what happens."

 

Again he was staring right through her and she found herself a bit unnerved by him. "You suffered an injury earlier today during an away mission." Deb wasn't sure why she suddenly chose to talk about the incident that caused his amnesia. "We have every reason to believe your memory will return relatively soon. In the meantime, we're committed to helping you to adjust." She smiled shyly. "That goes double for me."

 

He sighs again and considers her for a minute. "Well then, if I can suggest it might help me a bit if I could get out of here and back to my....." He pauses slightly and shakes his head then finishes "...our quarters. My apologies to your department, but I’ve never liked being in Sickbay. So can we please run whatever remaining tests and anything else that needs to be done and, if you wouldn’t mind, show me where..our quarters are. And frankly...I could use some time to digest all this." He shrugs, "And speaking of digestion, I’m a little hungry too."

 

Deb clenched her hands in her lap to keep them in place. She was so relieved by Aidan's comment about their quarters, she wanted to jump up, cup his face in her hands and kiss him.....really, really kiss him. That would most likely scare him to death. He would surely ask for private quarters after such an outrageous display. Instead, she forced herself to remain calm and composed. "It seems I and my staff are the only ones aboard who like being in Sickbay," she said, gracing him with a warm smile. "And there are times when even we get sick of it. So, I understand your feelings about this facility." She glanced toward Rocco and then returned her attention to Aidan. "Dr. Studly is your physician." she continued nonchalantly. "I suspect he'll want you to remain here for observation for a few more hours."

 

"That would be a correct assumption, Dr.," replied Studly. "But it's okay for the Commander to eat. I'll go order him something."

　

 

"No!" Deb spoke much louder than she anticipated. She practically shouted at Rocco, startling both the doctor and the patient. "I'll go," she added quickly. She was now on her feet staring at Studly. Her colleague simply nodded and Deb turned to Aidan and smiled weakly. "I'll see you later. Enjoy your meal."

Rocco gave her a sympathetic nod as she walked past him. A moment later, she quickened her pace and hurried across Sickbay. When finally in the safety of her office, she hurriedly ordered the door closed and leaned against it. Her chat with Aidan had gone so well until the very end. She wasn't sure why she suddenly felt herself losing control.

 

She'd been pleased Aidan was willing to move into their quarters. She'd been concerned he would rather live somewhere else until he regained his memory. And then it had dawned on her. What would they do once he was home? He didn't know her! She was a stranger to him! He was the Aidan Ridire she'd met when he was first assigned to Reaent almost ten years ago. She'd thought him cold, stuffy and rigid. Now that cold, stuffy, rigid Commander would be living with her and she was suddenly terrified. The man she'd known and loved was gone, replaced by this living replica from the past. And what if he never regained his memory? What would happen then?

 

The fear and all the emotions wrapped around it.....she'd kept them at bay for hours.....waiting patiently for Aidan to awaken.....waiting patiently to find out just how bad the situation was. Now she knew. It could be worse....a lot worse. "It's still bad," she whispered to the empty room. "Oh God," she choked on the words as tears filled her eyes and leaked slowly down her cheeks. "Heal him and help us get through this until then."

 

If Aidan wasn’t confused before, the Doctor’s...his wife’s reaction just a second ago most definitely was confusing. Or perhaps it was the confusing set of emotions it set off in him when she hurried away. He sighs and mutters just loud enough for the other doctor to hear "Now I really do feel like Rip van Winkle." His gaze falls on the ring on his left hand and he stares at it silently. If what she had told him was true then it occurs to him that he might have the easier end of this. He silently resolves, at the direction of he knows not what inside him, to try and be easy to deal with.