Melting Ice

[Lerak trPexil 0]

"Melting Ice"

A Joint Log of Laehval t'Temmar and Lerak tr'Pexil

 

 

For two long days Lerak managed to avoid the io person he spent months to find. A series of dire circumstances had finally brought them together. tr’N'Dak, and probably others, knew all along. It took an interception of Lerak’s communiques and a bit of friendly discussion to finally get an answer. Now after some long hours at the edges of the Talon, repairing and reinforcing the hull after the atmospheric warp, Lerak needed to rest. Repairs remained, so the price of sleep remained high. As if laughing at the Daise’Engineer, the engineering office remained restfully quiet despite the mad house outside. Maybe just a little rest. An alarm or a message on his ISD would sound, waking him up in minutes. Na io would know. Lerak drifted into a light sleep.

 

The buzz of conversation ceased entirely as Laehval entered from the lift, pausing a moment to study the department that had been her life for so many years. Some had no idea she'd returned and stared, mouths slightly agape. The ones that had reviewed the new roster hadn't really expected her to come back to engineering so soon. Laehval did her best to seem non-threatening, but her surly reputation had been carefully forged over years of command and could not so lightly be undone. If anything, most seemed suspicious of the smile... perhaps even frightened. Ignoring the looks, she gestured to the nearest officer. "Your Daise? Is he on duty?" The Arrain nodded and pointed toward the chief's office. "Hann'yyo." She strode past him toward the door of her old office, taking a deep, calming breath. About to simply stride in, as was her habit, she caught herself and paused, ringing the chimes.

 

Lerak snapped to as the chimes awoke him. Someone did see fit to interrupt. By the look on the chrono only five minutes had passed. Why not 20 minutes?Fvadt!. He sighed heavily. "Enter.. if au must!"

 

"If this is a bad time, I could come back later." The door had opened to admit her, though she didn't move from the entrance. Her attention flitted over the interior, noting the changes Lerak had made.

 

Lerak froze in place with his mouth wide open. Any sign of drowsiness quickly vanished. Avoiding their inevitable encounter came to an end. He rose to his feet. "Please, I.. please come in." He eyes fell swiftly to the floor in front of her. After learning days ago Laehval lived, Lerak was na closer to knowing what to say. He put off thinking about it until “later”. later is now.

 

She gestured him to his seat as she entered. The slight limp that she'd gained after being bitten by a poisonous lizard aboard the Talon was now significantly pronounced. Though she nalonger needed her cane to walk, the leg still pained her. She sat opposite him with a soft sigh, resting her hands on the armrests of the chair. "Au are as surprised to see me as I am to be here, no doubt," she commented after several moments of uncomfortable silence.

 

"Ie. Many things have been surprising as of late." He put his hands on the desk, using them to prop himself up for whatever she might say. "I’m at a loss for words. All of this time...looking... and I don't know. I'm as uncertain as ever. What happened?” he asked, but stopped himself. "I’m sorry, perhaps your business is none of my concern. Repairs are nearly complete. I can send au a report within the hour."

 

"I could have requested a status report from the Oira," she pointed out. "I came to see and speak with au." She paused, a look of uncertainty clouding her eyes for a moment. "There are few on board this ship that know what happen to me. The Enarrain, of course. Our interim Daise'Maenak. And au. I know that au learned from tr'N'Dak and am sorry au found out in that manner. I was unconscious for some time and woke to find myself in a weakened state. I would have sent au a message, but after the io I received from au... I could na find the courage."

 

His eyes widened when he realized what message she meant, the io tr'N'Dak probably read as well. "A letter filled with much anger. Quite unusual for me. I’d hoped au’d join me on shore leave. Now I know it had been selfish of me and presumptuous. If I could erase the message I would. I so apolog..."

 

She held up a hand to wave away his apology. "Do na be troubled. I deserved those words and realized that I treated au very poorly. Your words cut as deeply as the blade I plunged into my stomach to regain my honor. I came to tell au that I am truly and deeply sorry for the pain I have caused au. It was never my intention. As always, I found myself poorly equipped to handle personal relationships, which was why I avoided and discouraged them for so long. What happened between us was my doing and na fault of your own."

 

Another moment of silence passed as he could na believe what she said. Was she a clone? Much of her appearance changed since he last saw her. His io picture he kept in the sleeve of his ISD case displayed a much colder and confident Laehval. This seemed na the same person. Her eyes were the most strikingly different. Lerak continued on. "Oh I knew of the risks between us, but took them anyhow. Your element is fire and I got a little burned. But, I'm na really interested in blame and anger. I’m na sure I have the energy for anger right now." He looked above as if courage fell from the ceiling. "May I ask...why? And honor?"

 

“Why? Why did I attempt to end my life?” She leaned back in the chair, sighing softly. “It was necessary. I could not live with what I had done. I nearly killed t’Rexan. Though I did it for the good of the ship and did na intend to harm her so badly, na io believed me. I have never been in favor with my family, but after what I had done, they shunned me completely. I had disgraced myself, my department, and this ship. There was little else I could do. I had nothing left.” Her chin tilted slightly, penetrating gaze focused on Lerak. “I disliked the person that I had become and could think of no other way to change. I let the Elements decide my fate and they spared me. It gave me a second chance.”

 

He swallowed after hearing her explanation. His link to the elements did not carry the strength for him as it did for her. “I believed au, but I may not carry enough importance in the scheme of things. I felt betrayed after au did na accept the invitation. I had thought we were at a point where if au needed help you’d seek my counsel.” He let out a nervous laugh. “I guess we were nowhere close. My profane-filled message to au was the result. Result of my anger I na longer able to contain. I carried my anger with my for a long time. I even backhanded t’Ditsy months ago.” He met her gaze.

 

“Let it go, Lerak. I beg au. It will twist au into something au will na like, a version of yourself that au will na recognize.” She shifted io leg over the other. “What I did had nothing to do with au. Au were, perhaps, my only friend, and I am very sorry for hurting au so deeply. Again, it was na my intention. I could na burden au with my issues. This was something I needed to carry alone. Do na think that what I did reflects badly upon au. Do na think yourself inadequate. I understand if au continue to regard me with anger, but I do na hold the same. That part of my life is done.”

 

He looked around a bit before speaking. “I’m just glad au are alive. Au did na have to go it alone. And about the anger, I’ve been so busy, with the ship...and the nightmares.” He smiled. “Well, I’m sure some slight anger remains, maybe for tr’N’Dak. Don’t tell t’Vatrix I said that. Did au hear what happened? I don’t know yet if I saved or killed him.”

 

She nodded curtly. “Ie, I have heard. He was fortunate that au were there to scare off his attacker.” She let out a breath. “I should return to duty. This post is new to me and I am still learning. Thankfully, it will na be permanent. As soon as tr’N’Dak is fit for duty and able to return, I assume that he will resume command. I did na ask for this position. It was thrust upon me by t’Rexan, but I am pleased that I have been able to return to the ship that has been my life for so long.”

 

“Au will need to have someone teach au the changes to engineering after the expansive upgrades. Several of your efficiency records have been broken. t’Ditsy promoted. I’ll save more for later.” Lerak got out of his chair to see Laehval out. “Dinner. Soon...and I don’t care about your rank or even your answer. Just be there. I did not spend months with a holographic cook to have it go to waste.” He stood next to her than motioned toward the door. “I had expected a fight.” He sighed in relief.

 

“I have na wish to fight au, Lerak, and I am sorry that I struck au. I should na have lost my temper. It is something that I have done my best to change and that I will continue to work on. Dinner would be a welcome change from the solitude I have wrapped myself within. I hope that we may still be friends, na matter my new rank or position.”

 

The acting Daise’Engineer nodded, “Jolan tru Laehval. Aefvadh home.”

Edited March 30, 2012 by Lerak trPexil

[KhreRiovtRex 0]

Nice log both of au! Hann'yyo for sharing!