Sons and Mothers

[NDak 0]

The sun lay low across the horizon, falling behind the tall mountains that surrounded the Hein’Rhe valley. It had been many years since Destorie had seen a sunset from the balcony of his bedroom in his families large, ancestral estate. Called Llaiir thaliij—the Flame of the Mountains, the three winged home had been built many years before, when his family had begun its ascent from tenant farmers of the Clan Silaeir to its current position among the elite houses of the Empire.

 

The rise of his house, Destorie considered as he took a drink of a sweet wine from his family’s vineyards, had been most improbable. What had they been? Little more than petty farmers for a powerful house in the far away capitol. Amazing that the courage and strength of just io man, his ancestor Arrei, had made everything else possible.

 

Sighing, he sat the glass down, and let the fragrant blooms of the cha’ta trees in the gardens that surrounded the home filter and mingle with those of the wine. Lost in thought, he barely heard the voice of his mother entering from his bedroom.

 

“Sheuji,” she said warmly. “I thought you promised your brother you would brood less, na?”

 

Smiling he turned and motioned her to join him by the railing. “Ie,” he said, “but I am na brooding.”

 

Laughing softly, N’Kedre approached and put an arm around her eldest son. It had been many years since they’d seen each other in person, and she still couldn’t believe she’d raised such a handsome Rihan. Yet for his strong chin, high cheek bones, and dark, dangerous eyes, there had always been something softer hiding beneath the surface.

 

“Perhaps I should have been a better mother to the all of you.”

 

Turning, brow lifted, Destorie shook his head. “You were a fine mother.”

 

“When I was there...”

 

Destorie sighed. “Ri'nanov,” he said, taking her hand. “Au are na the problem.”

 

“That’s easy for au to say. I am sure that au sister thinks otherwise.”

 

Looking away, Destorie bit back his bitterness for his mother’s sake. “She has always been this way, au know that. She has resented my birth order for years.”

 

“Perhaps,” N’Kedre said, “Au grandmother told me this would happen.”

 

Surprised, Destorie looked at his mother. “Which io?”

 

“Au father’s ri’nanov,” she said wistfully, he eyes looking distantly towards the setting sun. “She was certainly never shy with her approval or disapproval. Au should consider auself lucky she is na alive anymore. She would never have tolerated your sulking, or au lack of communication, rhae au family.”

 

Blushing lightly, Destorie looked away. “Ri’nanov...”

 

“I am only teasing au, Sheuji. I understand that au can na call often, and most of the time when au do, we are na even on homeworld.”

 

“Still,” he said, “I could call more often.”

 

“Ie,” she said. “I will na deny that.”

 

Still curious though, Destorie decided to press a point, with his mother. What had she meant by that remark? He’d never met either of his grandparents, and his curiosity had been piqued. “What did au mean, when au said...”

 

“That D’Lvon’s rinanov told me this would happen?”

 

“Ie.”

 

“She was an... interesting woman. Strong willed, matronly. Very different from au grandfather. He was gentle, quiet and very gracious.

 

“She never approved of our union,” she said, continuing. “She only let your father bond with me because of the sizable estate I stood to inherit as the only heir to my family’s wealth, and because of the position of my father, who’d been a close friend and ally, rhae Ma’lyn for many years.”

 

“Ahh,” Destorie said. It occurred to him, that for all of his knowledge, rhae the proud family traditions, rhae the House of N’Dak, he knew very little about his mother’s family, other than that were considered to be respectable and honorable, and that her father had served rhae the Galae for many years. “I suppose it did na hurt that au and father loved each other, na?”

 

Almost snorting, N’Kedre patted her son on the shoulder. “I do na think Rasa cared if au father loved me or na. Her marriage had been arranged, so she saw little need for her son’s to be romance based. It was lucky for me that, though au father and I did love each other very much, that I was well born -- otherwise someone else might have been au mother.”

 

“Lucky, indeed...”

 

“But, ie, she did na like me. She thought I was too out spoken. She told me my career and my liberalism would get in the way of my husband and my children.”

“Rinanov...”

 

“What,” she said turning to face Destorie. “She was right. My career did get in the way. I see that now. I should have been there for you, for your sisters, for au brother...”

 

“You were always there when we needed au.”

 

“Ie,” she said. “I was there when you knew au needed me, but na when you did na know.”

 

“Do na blame auself for the struggles and trials of au children.”

 

Holding back tears, N’Kedre looked away. “Had I been less selfish, Sheuji... I should have known better. With au father’s career, how could I expect any of au to grow up properly?”

 

“Rinanov,” Destorie said, putting his own arms around the smaller frame of his mother, holding back his own emotions. “Au were a wonderful mother. Though au were busy, we always knew you cared deeply for quii of us. Even Ye’sho...”

 

Turning and embracing her son, she let down her defenses. As the sun slipped away for the night behind the high mountains, she felt tears begin to flow down her face. “Hann’yyo... hann’yyo...my son”

 

Holding her tightly, Destorie felt something for the first time in many years; and for the briefest of moments, his brain wandered to a place he did not expect.

 

The son she never had...

 

He began to cry as well.