Qob, Victorious

[Pher 0]

“So, Pher, what are you going to do when you leave New Risa?”

 

“Who says I’m going to leave New Risa?”

 

“Oh, come on. You’re too good with a stick to stay out of the arena. The suits get a cut of the bets, and won’t be content with a cut of nothing. Once you’re in, the only way out is up, and you’ll need to do it before your nerves got fried.”

 

“I don’t know,” Pher replied. If you listen to the off world recruits, life elsewhere is no picnic. They signed contracts to come here, after all. Pimps are pimps.”

 

“But how many of them regret it?”

 

“What’s not to love? I’m chief lifeguard. I get to play with all the toys the tourists play with, eat the same food, dress as elegantly, and even share the same beds. Where else could I do that?”

 

“The arena, Pher. If you don’t want off planet, you shouldn’t have started training.”

 

“I was stupid.”

 

“Stupid in what way?”

 

“I had a brother,” Pher said with exasperated distain. “He was an crazy fan of the holodrama, Qob Victorious. Big frigging glorious shining battleship. King of the space-ways. A glorious icon showing how Klingon honor and courage could overcome the corrupting degrading influence of the Ferengi and Humans.”

 

“I’ve heard of the show.”

 

“Anyway, my brother was going to stow away on some ship at some point, find the Qob, and sign on as a warrior. You understand that the story lines are based on legends that might be based on some real battleship allegedly still lurking about the great unknown? He figured if he showed him them his innate courage and honor, they’d make him captain. He was going to come back to New Risa some day, blow away the suits, and everyone would regret dismissing him as a useless good for nothing male.”

 

“Where is he now?”

 

“By night he weaves grass into fishnets. By day he wades off the beach catching fish. He still daydreams.”

 

“While you’re the one who became the great warrior?”

 

“Great warrior?” Pher shook her head. “I’ve spent years learning how to wave a stick while seducing an audience at the same time. Suppose I had a stick in my right hand, and a cricket phaser set to wide angle stun in my left. Which hand would be the more dangerous?”

 

“There’s that. Still, pain sticks are much more entertaining for the audience. They trigger a lot more dust.”

 

Pher made a face. “I used to tell him that if I ever found the Qob, forget courage and honor, I’d just seduce the captain.”