Ensign Van Roy's Personal Log

[Dumbass 0]

Ensign Van Roy's Personal Log

Stardate 0211.27

 

"Picking on the FNG"

 

While the crew is busy preparing for an event called "Thanksgiving", a pagan ritual that involves the shoving of stale bread crumbs up a dead bird's anus, I decided to begin my personal logs.  Bad enough I have to repair an entire ship practically single-handed, I must also put up with the indignities of being the FNG.  Here is a summary of my first duty shift as CENG.

 

To begin with, the ship's mascot/pet, a flea-infested targ, has decided to make it's home in my office.  This is of little consequence since I doubt I'll be spending much time there anyway with my workload.  Without knowing if it has a name I decided to call the smelly flea-infested targ Kroells, after a former shipmate on the Reaent.

 

So far I find the Klingon language surprisingly easy to understand.  Already I can converse with my shipmates almost as easy as they converse with each other - not that I would want to, but it can come in handy if I feel the need to swear.  Apparently there isn't a Klingon word for LOL.

 

I also had to field many questions about a Vulcan's telepathic capabilities.  The Klingons were under the impression that Vulcan telepathy requires physical contact.  Normally this is true, but with regard to a species of limited cranial capacity- such as Klingons - this is not always the case.  

 

It was during one of my telepathic exercises I discovered my personnel file was being shared with the entire meH crew.  I can understand why the HoD and RawI' would need to know, and it was prudent on their part to inform the CSEC since I will undoubtedly spend much time examining the Klingon cloaking device, but for much of the crew it's none of their business.  Still, some light moments came of the incident.  They seemed pleased to discover that some Vulcans do indeed have a sense of humor (On this ship I'll need it.) and that I can eat Gagh with them in true Klingon fashion.  

 

There was some concern and gossip about my pre-Starfleet years at the Ferengi School of Business.  Apparently this crew does not understand the true value of an accountant - someone who solves problems you didn't know you had in ways you can't understand.  (Phase I:  Collect Underpants!)

 

They were surprised to learn, however, how quick the Vulcan mind meld can be initiated given the right circumstances.  During the ritual end-of-shift head-butting I briefly melded with many of them before they knew it. They believed I would be in too much pain after several head-butts.  Fortunately Vulcans are thick-headed as well as thick-skinned.

 

Ensign Van Roy

 

Don't tell me that Vulcans don't have a sense of humor, because...  I know better.   - Captain Hikaru Sulu, USS Excelsior

[Travis Kroells 0]

Vanroy....just you wait....

[Dumbass 0]

Aww, how cute!  Kroells even chose a targ as his avitar! :laugh: