Firsthand Account

[Annabelle O'Halloran 0]

 

 

It took a considerable amount to put Caroline off her calm. During her time as a starbase counselor, she had honed an innate reaction to chaos, meeting it with reassuring placidity, and Reaent had only further encouraged this tendency, being as unpredictable as it was intense. So it would take a very close, very familiar observer to determine, as she eyed the curve of the bulkhead in the lounge, patiently waiting the arrival of her dinner partner, that she had more on her mind than usual.

 

She was not precisely concerned. Not yet. But having two reports come to her in close succession about one of her closest friends on the ship -- and indeed, the dinner partner for whom she was currently waiting -- was cause for...attentiveness. Nothing Deb or Will had told her was enough to give her any absolute cause for censuring Anna's mental state, but it was enough to give her reason to believe her friend might be dealing with a level of anxiety belied by her usual cheerful resilience. What the root cause might be, Caroline wasn't sure, but it was important that she try to find out, delicate though the task might be.

 

Anna entered the lounge and paused just over the threshold; a quick glance around showing that Caroline had already arrived and was seated at a table near one of the windows. She was looking forward to catching up with Caro-the leave had been short and they hadn't managed to get together during it. The last couple of days had been stressful; the mystery presented by the bracelet and Will's overreaction to it had taken a bit of a toll and spending some time with Caroline, enjoying some relaxed conversation and a good meal, seemed like a tonic.

 

"Caro," Anna smiled a greeting as she took the seat opposite Caroline's. "I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long. I got hung up in the lab for a few minutes."

 

"No problem," Caroline said casually, returning the smile as she turned her eyes from the bulkheads and focused in on the conversation. "Must have been something engrossing...what are you working on?"

 

"Actually, nothing to do with work per se," Anna answered, her eyes gleaming with sudden amusement as she recalled JJ's passionate apology message. "Someone got busy during leave with a personal project and used up some of the supplies and I had to sign off on the requisition for replacement and look into changing access protocols for interdepartmental usage."

 

"Ahh...the everpresent paperwork," Caroline said, not quite following the reason for the sudden laugh in Anna's expression but chuckling all the same. "Glad you managed to escape for a bite to eat."

 

"We're not really busy right now. There's the usual ongoing research, of course, but nothing time critical. The Moap system does have three gas giants and is a binary system so the cosmologists are excited." Anna checked the menu. "Have you decided on anything yet? I think I'd like a drink first."

 

"That sounds good to me too," Caroline said agreeably, having not really even turned her mind to the menu yet. "I take it this is an unusual sort of system then?" she asked curiously.

 

"Somewhat unusual. They're just getting excited at a chance to update astrometrics and send a few long range sensor probes into the planets. Frankly, I think everyone's just thrilled to get to study something other than temporal anomalies." Anna looked up from the menu and grinned. "They're a jaded bunch."

 

That elicited a laugh from Caroline; the science chief's feelings about the temporal anomalies which Reaent seemed perpetually to encounter were well known. "I'm always a proponent of a change of scenery and pace," she deadpanned in return, casually pondering Anna's expression as she ordered a cosmopolitan from one of the lounge staff who had paused at their table. Her friend seemed nothing less than her normal good-humored self, and Caroline began to relax some of her own preoccupation.

 

"I'll have a glass of mead," Anna requested, absently turning the bracelet beneath her jacket sleeve while watching their waiter head back to the bar. She'd planned to order a glass of whiskey until the very moment when she'd opened her mouth and ordered the honey-wine instead. She hated sweet drinks. Interesting.

 

"Branching out a bit, eh?" Caroline said with a chuckle, leaning back in her seat.

 

"So it would seem," Anna said a little dryly, meeting Caroline's amused look with a direct one of her own. "Actually, when I said I wasn't working on anything special before...that's not entirely true. Remember earlier today on the bridge when I told you that Will and I had done some shopping and picked up a gift for his mother's birthday?"

 

"I do." Caroline nodded, attenuating to the more serious look on her friend's face.

 

"Well," Anna continued, folding back her jacket sleeve to reveal the bracelet, "I also got this." She leaned forward, her excitement obvious. "It's very unusual, Caro."

 

Caroline had had a feeling, based on Deb and Will's reports, that the subject would probably come round to this on its own, and though she wasn't entirely sure how this connected to the mead, she could nevertheless read Anna's obvious emotion -- excitement, not distress -- and leaned forward curiously to eye the piece of jewelry. "Yes, it is," she agreed carefully. "And no doubt more so to you...you used to work making such things, didn't you?" Her mind instantly moved back over the things Deb and Will had told her, suggesting that they felt the bracelet directly connected to other more physical manifestations of anxiety, but she said nothing of any of this yet, waiting to see how Anna would direct the conversation.

 

Anna nodded, answering, "Yes, everyone in my clan has some craft training that allows them to contribute. My specialty was metalcraft--small edged weapons and jewelry design. And it's the metalwork on this bracelet that caught my eye initially," she said, absently tracing the intricate design of the bracelet with her free hand.

 

"I tried it on, thinking it wasn't particularly pretty but that it might be fun to see if I could try to duplicate the craftsmanship. Granulation like this isn't that easy when done on such a minute scale. Anyway, as soon as I tried it on, it just felt 'right'. I can't really explain it." She shrugged. "It didn't cost that much and as you can see the stones are cabochon cut--not even faceted...it's just an old piece, Caro."

 

Anna leaned back as the waiter came by and deposited their drinks before continuing on his way again. "It's a cuff bracelet which means there should always be an open section--it shouldn't form a complete circle, but...sometime during the first night, it closed up. There's not even a seam showing in the metal. And I had the oddest dream..." She paused and picked up her glass, making a face at the first sip, but taking a second one anyway.

 

"Go on." Caroline had already slipped unconsciously into professional mode -- listening intently but giving the appearance of no more than casual interest so as to keep her companion talking -- but she couldn't resist a faint glimmer of surprise in her expression. She'd expected Anna to be more reticent about the symptoms which Will had mentioned, and she could see from where she sat that the bracelet was, in fact, a solid ring too small to have slid off -- or onto -- the wrist on which it now sat; she'd half-expected that idea to be merely a manifestation of her deeper unwillingness to part with it. She made a quiet, interested noise in the back of her throat, wondering if she had misjudged the situation.

 

"This is where it gets amazing. The dream I had was so vivid, it really felt more like a memory--even now I can remember it perfectly, and it wasn't me in the dream. I was there--but as somebody else. It was in a place I've never seen before, populated by people I've never met but who felt as close to me as my own family. Closer even," Anna added expressionlessly, thinking that those in the dream, Nils and Ari, felt closer to her than her own brothers, Brian and Sean. Or at least closer to whomever she'd been in the dream. Nils and Ari would never turn their backs on their sister... Realizing where her thoughts were going, Anna shook her head as if to clear it. "There was a battle and it was awful, and yet..I could feel how alive she felt. Tormented by the betrayal happening around her but also so determined to fight and have her vengeance against the traitors. But then, the most terrible thing of all happened..." She picked up her drink and took a long swallow in spite of the sweetness, clenching the glass because her fingers were trembling.

 

Caroline raised one eyebrow slowly, folding her arms in front of her on the table, ignoring her own drink untouched at her elbow. "The most terrible?" she asked encouragingly, her tone soft to counter the intensity of Anna's.

 

Anna set the glass down, taking a deep breath. This was the hardest part to describe. "As the dream began, I realized that I could 'feel' another person close by. I couldn't see him but I knew where he was so I was comforted knowing he was safe. At the end of the dream, I see him--he's fighting and I intend to join him to fight with him and then he's cut down and I realized that while I watched him die I also 'felt' the connection between us die...I...she could no longer feel him and it broke her heart." Anna paused, the emotions no less intent in the retelling than they'd been in the dream. "I woke up then, screaming his name...Tjarn was his name," Anna added offhandedly, her voice trailing off again before she gathered herself, finishing with, "And that woke up Will. For a minute there I couldn't differentiate between the dream and reality and became confused thinking something had happened to Will. That was the worst part of it, actually." She leaned back, reminding herself that it had been just a dream or an old memory.

 

Caroline processed this for a few moments in silence, not sure what to make of it. Indeed, had she not known Anna as well as she did, she might have been considerably more confused -- but she was familiar with the other woman's vivid imagination and penchant for adventure stories. It was not hard to pin down, in the abstract, the sources of the dream that evidently had Anna so preoccupied -- an adventurous situation, in the role of a woman for whom Anna's relative familial estrangement had never been a problem, was not at all an unlikely fantasy for someone of Anna's general disposition. The issue was whether these dreams might be a manifestation of something more psychologically serious, in one way or another. "Who is 'she'? Do you know?" she finally asked after a considered pause.

 

"No, I don't know her name or what she even looks like," Anna replied, relaxing in the face of Caroline's calm, accepting expression. "I do know she's wearing this bracelet and that the metal work on it matches that on the hilt of her sword. The same type of stones are also present on the hilt." She smiled, her eyes lightning with amusement, knowing how ludicrous her next statement was going to sound. "Her sword's name though...I do know that. It's Hani."

 

Caroline smiled, rubbing her jaw thoughtfully. "Your subconscious has a definite attention to detail," she said with quieter amusement, shaking her head slightly.

 

"My subconscious, huh?" Anna couldn't help but smile; she was pretty sure her mind could not have supplied the level of detail present in the dream. "I wish you would tell Will that," she said, striving to keep her voice light.

 

"How do you mean?" Caroline asked, deciding not to mention just yet that Will had already approached her.

 

"He's worried about me," Anna replied quietly. "I know he is but it feels..." She stopped. She couldn't tell Caroline that it felt like Will was somehow against her; that he'd thought it a good idea to report something this innocuous to the ship's XO. That it felt like a betrayal. Which hurt more than she could admit to Caroline, even though she was one of her best friends. "I think he's overreacting a bit," she finished.

 

"Well, no one likes to see their loved ones disturbed, even by a dream," Caroline said lightly, then after a short pause, went on, "Are you concerned? About the dreams? Or...something else, perhaps? Violent or uncomfortable dreams often tend to show up as an expression of our waking worries..."

 

"I wouldn't say I was concerned, exactly," Anna answered thoughtfully. "About the dreams or anything else, other than Will's reaction to it, I guess. The dreams startled me at first but now I think they might offer clues to the bracelet's origins. Debbie suggested I get it removed but I don't want to. I want to keep investigating it while it's 'active' so to speak."

 

Caroline nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. She was watching closely for signs of subverted worry or other emotional distress but Anna's expression was more curious than anything else. "And the idea that it might be isn't concerning? Its molding itself like that is somewhat odd, isn't it?"

 

"I find it fascinating, Caro. It is a little disconcerting to feel someone else's thoughts and feelings in such a way that they feel like you're own but I think I'm getting used to it. And as for the bracelet closing the way it has--it's possible that it's designed that way," Anna said with a shrug. "The metal is an alloy we haven't seen before and though scans didn't show any odd properties, it's clear that it's reacted in a way that is unusual, strange even." She smiled suddenly, saying, "That's why I think it's more than my subconscious at work here. I think this is an artifact; Quantum dating puts it at more than 1200 years old. I am currently running a recognition search program using details of the metalwork. I'm also going to run an experiment later this evening."

 

"What kind of experiment?" Caroline could tell that Anna's spirit of scientific inquiry was the prime mover in the situation right now, and that she seemed to have a logical outlook in spite of the exhaustion that Deb had cited as a reason for keeping an eye on her; that was reassuring, though she would not go so far as to say that what Anna was saying about the bracelet was reassuring. Feeling someone else's thoughts... No, that was still worth being concerned about; just not in the way Caroline had anticipated.

 

"I'm meeting with Jon Shamor later on tonight to confirm something. He's an expert with most kinds of weaponry and has a collection of blades. I've asked him to let me handle one his swords." Anna sat back, folding her arms across her chest. "Caro, I've trained with knives and am rated as expert but I've never handled a sword--there's never been any reason to, but I am betting that it's going to feel mighty comfortable in my hand. This hand," she said, holding up her right arm, displaying the wrist with the bracelet on it.

 

Once again Caroline was silent. "Well, don't chop your arm off," she finally said slowly.

 

Anna recalled part of the dream, seeing again the traitor Edalt's arm severed by her strike, then falling to the ground with his sword still gripped in his hand, his body following closely behind. "It's not my arm I'm worried about," she answered.

 

"Or anyone else's either," Caroline amended, not sure whether to smile or not. "Anna, if you don't think it was just a dream, what do you think it was?"

 

"I'm not sure yet. I'm considering several possibilities at the moment. As I said, the metal is an alloy that we haven't seen before and though the initial scans didn't show anything unusual I think further tests are a good idea. The stones are also an unknown quantity and again, scanned as inert but I think it's possible that what I'm experiencing could be an electromagnetic reaction to either element or a combination of them both. My dream indicated that at the very least an empathic bond was possible between members of this species and I don't feel I can yet rule out that I am somehow able to access stored memories." Anna shifted restlessly. "The bottom line is I don't know what exactly is causing the different things I've been experiencing but I do think that the bracelet is the key to it and I'm sure I won't get any answers if I just have it cut off." Or take medication that will keep me from dreaming.

 

Caroline pondered this for a moment, examining the restless expression in Anna's eyes carefully. She could, frankly, see why both Deb and Will had become concerned at Anna's attitude towards the bracelet, but whatever the effects of the piece of jewelry were, Anna's behavior seemed at the moment primarily guided by scientific curiosity and Caroline was willing to take that at face value, knowing her friend's ability to be energized by new ideas. She trusted Anna to be aware of what she was getting into as a scientist, but she also did not mean to let the subject drop just yet. "You might not -- but if it is toying with your mental chemistry it's something to keep an eye on," she said mildly. "I know you don't want anyone curtailing your efforts but I hope you don't mind if I follow up on this with you."

 

"Debbie's tests do indicate that it's affecting my ability to achieve REM state while sleeping and I am feeling less than rested, I admit, which in turn is making me a little short tempered," Anna replied. "But I am certainly nowhere near the state where it's affecting my judgment, and I have no intention of allowing it to reach that point. I will be following up with Debbie tomorrow and I certainly don't have any problem letting you know what she says or keeping you up to date on where my research has led." Anna considered the other woman for a moment, seeing not her friend, but the ship's Counselor and recalled that Debbie had called Caroline down to her office while they'd both been on the bridge. "Just to clarify, Caro--are you following up as my friend or as the Counselor? Am I going to end up as a file entry?"

 

"The two aren't mutually exclusive," Caroline said, feeling somewhat caught out but smiling nevertheless. "Just about every friend I've ever had has been a counselor, by nature if not by profession." She paused, then shrugged slowly. "You're fascinated by this thing's effects but the idea of its being recorded by me concerns you. Why?"

 

"I guess I just want to know that when I sit down to dinner with a friend, the things we talk about stay at the table." Anna managed a lopsided smile, not wanting to offend Caroline. "I already have the CMO looking out for my health and the acting CAG looking at me like I'm crazy. When I record something, Caro, it's in the course of scientific analysis. When you record something, it's a possible career changer."

 

"Fair enough," Caroline answered with a slow nod. "Well, let me state for the record, then, that I am not secretly making any notes in my little black book; I just have never encountered anything like what you're describing in either the neurochemical or emotional sense, and I'd like to know how it progresses -- for your benefit, not for the sake of paperwork." She leaned back in her seat, picking up her glass, and smiled reassuringly. "I know you're not crazy or reckless, Anna -- but we encounter a lot of strange things out here."

 

"I appreciate the positive affirmation," Anna replied, amused as well as relieved. "And you're right, we do encounter strange things and this definitely qualifies and I'm sorry if I overreacted," she apologized, looking sheepish. "I mentioned short tempered, didn't I? It's an O'Halloran failing at the best of times and especially noticeable when we get hungry. I think it's time to get that waiter back and order some dinner."