"Risa Oh Risa My Risa"

[MrDrankum 0]

        RISA OH RISA MY RISA

           An Ambassador Drankum

               Profitable Production

       Copyright © 2003, Drankum Inc.

 

 

  Risa was great this time of year....well what in the name of all that was profitable was he saying? Risa was great anytime of year! That's why he lived on the planet! Well....that wasn't totally true. Yet, prior to the request for him to come out of retirement he had purchased a small place. Not too lavish, though the interior computer panels were laced with a high quality latinum synthetic.

 

 Drankum's time these days was spent reading reports and watching females. Despite the fact most species, even his own these days, allowed the opposite sex to wear clothing...on Risa that rule did not seem to apply. Perhaps that had been one of the reasons the planet was so popular within the Federation. Humons and those cultures they dominated sought a return to what they considered their barbaric past. Whatever the reason, their barbarianism was this Ferengi's dream vacation.

 

 The Ambassador had returned to Risa several weeks earlier. In the midst of the planetary evacuation of the Cardassian area, Drankum had seen no reason for him to remain. It wasn't exactly as if he wished to see one of his two so-called lifetime achievements explode. Though it had prompted the aging Ferengi to contemplate the logistics of creating another one....contemplation that was quickly dismissed after he had recalled the diplomatic headaches he'd had to endure.

 

 Since Aegis itself had since been found to be intact, the Drankum wasn't in a giant rush to return. He had decided that he was going to relax, something Patty had told him for years he didn't do enough of. While of course there was always room for more latinum, the Ferengi's profitable years were drawing to a close. He'd already been retired at least twice, seen one wife die, served as an Ambassador in several places, founded two successful bars, created a major trading route that profited three different governments including the Ferengi, overseen the construction of a seven government joint operation space station and the most amazing part is that he was still alive! It was quite....profitable....

 

 Drankum chuckled and laughed, glancing at his cane and slowly standing. He looked at his left leg and shook his head, attempting to recall the finer details of an incident on a station called 'Starbase Aegis' that had resulted in his limp. Determined not to go on another "memory lane" trip, thus allowing humon type emotions to fill his head, he walked over to a computer terminal. In the way he noted several of his bags sitting lined up near a wall, ready for his scheduled departure from his extended vacation within the next few days.

 

 As the Ferengi sat down in the chair, he reviewed several communiques and raised a brow. After reading one from someone he hadn't recognized, he shook his head and remembered why he didn't want to return to Aegis. "I hate work....it's profitable but...huh...," he said softly. As the computer prepared to take a dictation, Drankum saw a group of Betazoid females walk past his villa. "Short....must be short....," he uttered glancing out the window.

 

 The computer began....

 

"Dear Zog Gabrel of the Lakat Imperial Institute;

 

 You were quite blunt in your communique. That is a profitable trait, despite anything others will tell you. I will give you some advice, and against previous teachings, not charge you for it. Never be anything other than blunt. The universe will get too complicated otherwise.

 

 Sky Harbor Aegis is not my station. It has not been my station for well over two years. My ability to directly influence policy is severely limited outside of utilizing my government's status as a partner in the operations of the facility.

 

 As I recall from discussions during the station's construction, many of your leaders have always seen Aegis as an eye in the sky. That is the capital's primary function! The entire reason for it's construction is to ensure that your government fails to attempt to restart major unprofitable conflicts throughout the quadrant.

 

 Regardless of feelings by the United Federation of Planets, the primary reason for the involvement of the Klingon Empire, Romulan Star Empire, Bajoran Confederation and numerous other governments was not to see that the persons of Cardassia Prime were brought back to a profitable existence. Their goal was to maintain their own safety and security. While some governments, such as the United Federation of Planets and the Ferengi Alliance, have always held a focus of attempting to assist in rebuilding efforts; we are but two in a multi-governmental alliance which has a claim to Sky Harbor Aegis.

 

 As to your inquiry regarding Cardassia IV, it is a potentially lucrative situation. However, such mining operations would require a great deal of capital which my government may not have available at the present time. Furthermore, the level if risk associated with such an operation at the present time may be unacceptable given the present economic climate. Yet, given the potential benefits to the interests I represent, I will investigate your request and give it consideration upon my return to the region.

 

 Once I have completed my analysis, I will alert you as to my intended recommendations should it be profitable for me to do so.

 

Signed,

 Drankum

 Senior Ambassador

 Cardassia Sector, Ferengi Alliance"