What Were You Thinking

[DrDMatthews 0]

"Have you lost your mind?"

 

She was alone in the turbolift....nobody else was there to respond to her question and that was just fine. She already knew the answer.

 

Debbie had a legitimate concern for the welfare of the away team. That's why she'd gone to the bridge in the first place....to find out what was going on aboard the Ithaca. She hadn't heard anything about how the away team was doing and didn't want to be taken by surprise if an emergency was immanent. As it turned out, the bridge hadn't heard much from the AT either. She might as well have stayed in Sickbay.

 

That was especially true after she opened her mouth and stuck her foot in it. Deb had serious reservations about sending an away team to the Ithaca. What was the point? They knew for a fact the crew was long gone. She could understand the powers that be wanting to know what happened to them but at what cost?

 

Another fact....the Ithaca's crew had aged at least twenty-five years. Even if they were located, what could be done? Yanking them back from the future would most likely cause serious physical damage...primarily to their brains. And even if it was possible, would they want to return? They might be better off remaining where they were....wherever that was.

 

She doubted a team would have been sent to the Ithaca if it hadn't been for those arm bands. She had to admit they were a brilliant innovation. They were also relatively untested. If they failed while the away team was inside that bubble.....the thought sent shivers down her spine.

 

It was risky....very risky and Deb was having a difficult time justifying the risk. If the away team succeeded, they would return with Ithaca's ship's log. They might provide insight into the nature of this anomaly. They might indicate how the crew left and where they were planning to go...all very important information. But what if they failed?

 

Deb wasn't usually so pessimistic. Nor was she so cautious. She cross examined herself several times on why the sudden hesitancy to embrace the obvious risk of this particular mission. After all, they were in the business of taking risks....that's what they did....what they were expected to do.....what she'd been doing for years. So why was she so bothered about all of this?

 

These were private thought....private concerns until a few minutes ago when she unwittingly voiced them aloud to, of all people, the counselor!

 

"What were you thinking?" she muttered again, leaning against the rear wall of the lift.

 

She wasn't thinking....that was the problem. If she'd been thinking, she wouldn't have dropped her guard. She would have maintained her professional demeanor, gathered the information she needed and kept her mouth shut. But the words were out and there was no taking them back. Curtis had picked up on it so now, Deb could only hope she'd covered up her gaff sufficiently. She would know soon enough.

 

The lift arrived at her deck and the door swished opened to an empty corridor. Deb stepped out and slowly made her way back to Sickbay. She would stay off the bridge until they'd completed this mission. But that wouldn't stop her from wondering.....why had she become so cautious? So reluctant to accept risks that a short time ago were perfectly acceptable. The answer prowled about her thoughts, demanding recognition. But she wasn't ready to acknowledge it...much less accept it.