Running in Place

[Pher 0]

"Sometimes there are reasons to be secretive,” said Pher, speaking of the Bynar, “though I have a feeling they keep to themselves for their own sake. But the same might be said of a lot of folk…” She paused, looking at ‘Selek’. “My next question. Is your trouble back on Tranquility apt to reach out this far? Shouldn't have to worry about anything till we get back to civilization?"

 

Ethan answered frankly. "As long as no one's tipped them off; but," his brow lifted and he inclined his head, "there's a small chance they'll get out this far if they know."

 

"Hmmm…. Would you care to elaborate on that?"

 

He gaze on her narrowed as he considered it and then he flatly smiled. "I don't think that's in my best interest right now."

 

"Uh huh…” Pher looked dubious. “I can sort of understand that. It's just that it leaves me speculating in odd directions. Do 'they' want you badly enough to send starships after you… which would be pretty badly indeed. Or, do they want something else out here, which opens all sorts of possibilities. I've got enough secrets of my own that I can't twist you too much, but if things start showing up that put the contract at risk, might you speak up?"

 

He stood from the bunk and walked to his duffle, stuffing the book that lay on top back inside. "The answer is: they want both. But if they show up, I'll give myself up before they put you at risk."

 

Pher considered that too, not looking pleased. Still he was the customer, not crew. "But this remains unlikely, right?"

 

"Let's hope so," said Ethan.

 

"I guess I can let it stand at that. Don't know that I like it."

 

"Neither do I." He smiled again; he seemed to do that a lot more than his personality implied he would. He was hard to read at first, but with enough time to study his expressions, the more subtle nuances became apparent that could open the whole world of his thoughts for plain view. At the moment he was subconsciously wondering how long an Orion and a human male could platonically stay in the same room for any given amount of time.

 

"So how's your first mate?" He grimaced slightly and demonstratively gestured at his own head. "He looked a bit under the weather earlier."

 

"If that's all he appears to be, Soora and I are doing much better than we have a right to expect." She hesitated. "Have you caught any rumors of recent history at all?"

 

"Only that he might've had a bit too much female attention at one point," he replied.

 

"A healthy understatement, or an unhealthy understatement. Not so long ago, he was kidnapped by a Deltan who had no good intentions or compunctions at all. You know much about pheromone addiction?"

 

His brow had shown surprise as she explained. "I know a bit about it," he replied. He intentionally neglected to mention that he used to undergo inoculations against it until four years ago.

 

"Well, Chris was no accident. It wasn't a case of him being a bit sensitive, or her being a bit careless. She wanted to use him, and did to the point of trying to break his will with her dust. He needs some careful care. Soora and I, in very different ways, are trying to pull him through it. It isn't easy. Won't be. Can't be."

 

"But it sounds like he has some good friends to help him through it," he encouraged. "I know enough about pheromones to know that I'd rather have a clear mind in any situation."

 

"Think so? I'd have though playing Vulcan ought to have cured you of that."

 

He smiled again and was apparently amused. "Don't have to pretend to be Vulcan to appreciate being able to think for yourself without external influences."

 

"Ah, but all females are external influences. You think it matters a lot whether someone blows in your ear or lets dust float some? The reactions inside are the same. The attraction to the source of the feelings is the same. It's just whether one is strong enough to want to ride it, if one can ride it without losing one's self, if one wants to lose one's self."

 

A frown crossed his face. "Maybe," he remarked somewhat remorsefully. He stared at her and seemed to lose himself for a moment; then he shook the feeling away. "But given there are vaccinations available for certain pheromones, someone obviously thinks people like me will unwillingly lose themselves."

 

"Well, yes. Thing is, you catch someone that way, they aren’t worth keeping. The way you ran from the group when we first met, I kind of thought you were heading for a cold shower. I've been trying to be careful since."

 

"Thanks," he said with a dull smile. "Did break my concentration a bit." It flashed again through his eyes; that sense of deep remorse.

 

"Of course, if you don't want me to be quite so careful…"

 

There was a sort of sound that escaped him, almost like a laugh that wasn't finished. He shook his head. "No. Don't get me wrong; you're attractive. I just… Maybe in another place and time…" he faltered. "'You and I'," he gestured between them, "never really crossed my mind."

 

"OK. Well. Let it cross your mind. Well. My people? We're not Vulcans. Emotions evolved to encourage people to do what they ought to be doing. They are to be celebrated, not denied. I was once taught not to drag people where they don't want to go. It's just harder to ignore what's inside myself."

 

He finally let his attention wander and briefly turned, rubbing the back of his head as he thought. "Look, it's not that it's somewhere I don't want to go. I'm not trying to deny my feelings," he explained with a telling but flat smile. "It's just, since I met you, I can't stop thinking about someone I used to know."

 

"Would you care to talk about it?"

 

He seemed surprised by the offer, revealed by that unfailing rise in his brow. "Not much to tell."

 

"No?"

 

"Didn't work out," he minimally explained and shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it for a while."

 

"OK." She considered. "Well, if you're ever feeling adventurous, you can come down to the cargo hold when I'm dancing."

 

"Thanks, but sounds like too much adventure for me," he dryly joked.

 

"One of the problems with males is the ones you really want chasing you seem to want to run away."

 

He knit his eyebrows and then a slight grin followed. "I'm not running."

 

"You could fool me."

 

"I'm still here," he pointed out.

 

"Then perhaps I should run. Best that I got to know Byblos better."

 

He smiled. "Yeah." Funny thing about women who want you to chase them, he thought ironically; they run when you don't.

 

"See you about."

 

"Hmm," he sounded and settled back on his bunk.

Edited March 16, 2011 by Pher