Police Procedural Logs...

[Pher 0]

Pher had finished explaining the data on her ODRI to the Robes – not only was the so-called Vulcan, Selek, not a Vulcan, but he was apparently a wanted human.  Looking up from Pher's ODRI the Robes shared glances.

 

"Curious," said the Vulcan with a raised eyebrow.

 

The human seemed less amused when he looked at Pher.  "You wanted to talk somewhere private?"

 

Pher was trying not to be overly sexual or provocative than she could help.  For the most part she was succeeding.  "I come from a somewhat paranoid culture, and understand that mine is not the only one.  If you don't object, things could come up that might want to be kept quiet."

 

"Come with us."

 

The Robes divided; the human took point and the Vulcan brought up the rear.  Pher calmly followed.  There was no question that Chris would tag along, given his needs weren't about to let Pher get too far away.

 

Upon exiting the cavernous visitor's center, they walked for several more minutes before crossing a busy chamber and entering into one of several, smaller offices.  The human Robe shut the door behind them.  Pher settled in, looking as earnest as she could and deciding it wouldn't be polite to scan for bugs.

 

"This poster on Tranquility," began the human.  "D'you think it's legitimate?"

 

"For Tranquility, yes," Pher replied.  "I believe someone is willing to pay a good deal of money to get custody of this man.  One doesn't offer large amounts of money for kidnappings then renege.  That would be unhealthy.  But it wasn't a Guardian contract, or a contract from any sort of official police agency.  It could have been anybody.  I would say it is part of a private rivalry rather than an official police action."

 

This time it was the Vulcan Robe that spoke.  "And this is why you used your ODRI, despite our strict policies?"

 

"Yes. I'm sorry.  I believed the policies were to protect your academic and industrial secrets rather than to enable fraud."   Perhaps not the best wording, Pher thought after that came out.  A little strong.

 

The human Robe sneered and passed Pher's ODRI to his partner.  The Vulcan accepted it and reviewed the activity log again before nodding.

 

"We are aware of Selek's makeup," the Vulcan remarked, but he didn't elaborate further.  Surely they didn't expect that such a matter had gone unnoticed by Xorax officials.  The bounty was a new development but one that didn't concern them, given his position with Dr. Phantos.

 

The human Robe sat on the edge of the office desk.  "Since you've been a good girl and didn't steal anything that doesn't belong to you, you can have ODRI back in one piece.  But don't forget this: we won't take kindly to any attempts at bounty hunting here." 

 

"Selek's a protected member of Dr. Phantos's staff on Xorax," the Vulcan strangely offered.  "However, we won't be able to stop you if you decide to collect your bounty after leaving."

 

"Kidnapping one's employers isn't a good working practice,” Pher replied.  “You can't do that too often."  Twice in a row would be bad if news got around.  "It would be bad for business."

 

The human Robe irritably ticked and snatched the ODRI. He waved it in front of Pher.  "Take it.  Get out.  Don't do it again.  Got it?"

 

Pher accepted Audrey.  "Got it."

 

 

(Pher the Green with Ethan Neufeld)

[Pher 0]

Chris? Do mothers on Earth tell bedtime stories? Fairy tales? Stories that teach how nature works, that prepare a kid for the adult world?

 

I was told there were planets like this out there. You get in trouble. It’s all in how you handle it, and you take it one step at a time. In the fairy tale at least, first there is the cop who is too fast, then the cop that is too slow. There is the cop who is too big, and the one who is too little. There is the cop who knows too little about female anatomy, and the one who knows too much…

 

Anyway, if you listen carefully to what your mother teaches you, and if your boobs are big enough, you eventually get to the very problematic cop who is just right, then the judge, then the president for life. If one has been a pure sweet good little girl… not… one becomes a princess, changes the world, and everyone lives happily ever after.

 

OK. I understand. It’s just a fairy story. Fairy stories don’t always happen in the real world. Everyone can’t become a princess.

 

But did Joe have to go to a planet with Vulcan cops, and that values information rather than big boobs? What was he thinking?