The Stuff of Stars

[Cmdr JFarrington 0]

The Stuff of Stars

<<My apologies to anyone who may be offended in any way by this writing. It is pure science fiction, and the intention of the writer is not to put forth “the truth,” neither is it meant to propose a scientific treatise. This log is intended to illustrate the confusion experienced by the character, Jami Farrington, a physician who has been struggling with the nature of life, death, and the true nature of the universe since Manticore entered this alternate reality, nothing more.>>

 

She’d lost track of time. From the small desk in a corner of their quarters, she’d seen Atragon slip in and out several times, careful to not disturb her thoughts. He was good that way. He always respected the silence she needed when thinking, especially when her need for concentration reached this level.

 

In her study of medicine, Jami Farrington had always considered that there is an integral connection between a being’s physical health and mental health, and that mental health was often closely connected to some kind of spirituality, whether the influence of that spirituality be positive or negative.

 

After decades of practice, Jami felt she had almost come to an understanding of the nature of a being’s physical health, but the true nature of a being’s mental health, and the nature of spirituality, had eluded her. Now, faced with the knowledge that Captain Weyl of the USS Coxeter has been using an artifact that connects to his “life force” as a power source for the Coxeter’s tesseract drive, she had been forced into a new dimension of thought, one that appeared logical, but one that also seemed to challenge not only her own set of religious beliefs but the moral values on which she based her entire life as a physician. Every time he activated the drive, six years of his life were sapped away, never to be recovered.

 

Supporting her head with one hand, she slowly, carefully turned the page of the text book she’d kept since her academy days. The feel of the paper, the smell of the binding, its crispness as she turned each page spoke of academia and helped her focus. It gave her the grounding in the physical that she needed when dealing with the spiritual and moral dilemma in which she now found herself.

 

Life force is a concept of spiritual energy. The term energy has been widely used to refer to a variety of phenomena... sometimes conceived as a universal life force running within and between all things... it is often closely associated with the metaphor of life as breath....

 

She sank into the solid comfort of the chair, raising her eyes from the book to gaze blankly through the window above. How many times had she read that passage and it still wasn't sinking in. Desperately wanting to grasp the concept of life force or life energy, she put the philosophical thoughts aside in favor of a more scientific approach - if that were even possible. The stars stared back at her, unblinking. Stars don’t twinkle in space, she thought. Only through an atmosphere, and sometimes through the viewport when moisture condenses on....

 

Stars. Energy. Matter. Matter and energy. Energy and matter.

 

She jerked her eyes wide as her mindless gaze became focused, first on the distant galaxies, then on a few closer stars, then on the Coxeter, and finally on the windowsill where a pot of miniature roses bloomed.

 

“We are the stuff of stars. We are the universe making sense of itself.” The quote in one of its many forms came to her instantly. Stars are energy. Matter, at its subatomic level, is made of energy - photons, electrons, protons, and a myriad of subatomic particles whirling through and around a nucleus, pulled together to form a solid, a plasma, a liquid, or a gas.

 

She stopped, trying to slow the thoughts that poured through her mind, electrified by the very thought of the energy that made her sentient...

 

...made her sentient. Electrical impulses surging through her brain from synapse to synapse formed thoughts, those thoughts triggered emotions caused by chemical reactions - the motion of electrons either forming or breaking chemical bonds - within her body. Those thoughts and emotions made her who she is beyond her physical body, gave her sentience, made her move or not move. It gave her reactions, it gave her likes, and dislikes, and....

 

Wait. Stop. It’s coming too fast.

 

Taking a deep breath, she rose from the chair, paced for a few minutes, then stopped to rest her forearms on the windowsill and turn her thoughts inward. Was that life force? Is that what was happening to Captain Weyl’s physical body when that artifact attached itself to him to power the tesseract drive? Did it connect to the energy that made up his life force? That’s how he explained it, and it made sense, or so she thought. By extension could it then be said that if matter is conserved in the universe, so is energy, even the energy some call life force, qi, prana, or spirit? That, in itself, would explain the belief in an afterlife.

 

Again she put that thought aside for another time. She had made the tiniest progress towards one understanding. Now she had to put it into context, and the most important one, in her mind, was the moral one. Could they, in all conscience, willingly accept six years of Captain Weyl’s life to save their own, even if he had insisted we accept that gift? Moreover, as a physician was she bound to stop him?

 

She took a slow, deep, cleansing breath, resting her forehead on her hands, still supported by the windowsill, the intense fragrance of the miniature roses filling her nostrils.

 

She’d come full circle. She’d found a partial understanding of one thing but no answer to the greater question. Such was the conservation of matter, energy, and thought. There were just as many questions at the end as there were at the beginning. Such was the nature of the universe.

[Cadet Yannick 0]

Brilliant stuff from a brilliant writer.

 

You haven't lost your touch. It's just as I remember :)

 

Yan