A Meal and a Moment

[Kelton tr'Radaik 0]

In some ways it was difficult to account for the feeling of awkwardness that permeated the table in the Talon's mess. Certainly Kelton could na explain it in himself. He was a child of the political ring and the socialite gathering; he could hold his own in conversation with the best and brightest of the Ra'tleihfi elite, and yet he found himself stepping carefully here with a biologist.

 

Na that there was anything wrong with biologists, of course…but t'Merin was na a politician by any stretch, na io to be intimidated by. Na, the primary reason for his sense of discomfort was obvious, and really had na thing to do with t'Merin at all. He did na trust himself anymore. His days of suffering under the influence of the defloxso drug had led him to question his own capacities of self-control and decorum which were so necessary to his behavior in public. How did one recover one's confidence after such behavior?

 

"Au are distracted, Kelton. Are au na enjoying au food?"

 

"What? Oh…ie, ie, it is fine." He stabbed at a bite of the hlai salad on his plate and speared it into his mouth in silence, then looked across the table at his dining companion with some interest as she in turn dropped her eyes to her food away from him. She was attractive enough, in the fine-chiseled, intense Rihan way, and the little, awkward conversation they had had suggested that she was quite intelligent. But she gave off an uncertain vibe which was somewhat disquieting. Why had she asked him to eat with her if she did not wish to talk?

 

"How long have au been aboard the Talon?" he asked, attempting again to open dialogue.

 

"Four months," she answered, then, as if worried he would interpret this as overt inexperience, looked up hastily and added, "It is my second posting. I did research on ch'Rihan for several years."

 

"Of course," he replied, nodding understanding. One required either connections or experience to end up on a ship like the Talon. He was pretty sure t'Merin did na have the former -- at least na thing like his -- so she must have the latter.

 

"And au?" she asked politely, looking up again from her food to meet his eyes.

 

"Less," he answered honestly. "And it is my first. A great deal of training is required of a maenek before they are allowed loose among the general populace."

 

She surprised him with a laugh at that, and he felt a knot between his shoulder blades loosen gently as she answered, "And better that way too. We would na have au be a child in au first surgery."

 

"True," he answered with some amusement at the mental image this engendered. "I would have myself be…trustworthy." And again that flash of uncertainty. He didn't trust himself now; that word didn't apply. "At any rate," he went on after a moment's silence, "I am still finding my way around, to some degree."

 

She nodded. "I know. As am I." She paused, then added, "Au will settle in. It is not very hard…after a while." She paused again, then smiled slightly. "Unless au have made enemies. Then it becomes difficult."

 

Kelton didn't say anything, just picked up his glass of water and sipped at it. She raised her eyebrows slightly. "Have au made enemies? I mean…there are stories that au punched the Daise Dheno in the jaw but I admit I did na really believe it…"

 

"Do na believe it," Kelton said, a little too sharply, looking up at her intensely. She stared at him, puzzled. "I…" he went on, unsure how to cover this moment of reactivity. "I was…taken ill during leave. And had a very vocal disagreement with the Daise." Not entirely untrue, even. He watched her expression, pleading with her silently to na make this now the central facet of the evening. A friend or two was important right now, and beyond Daise t'Ksa, he wasn't sure who he could trust or respect. "I would na have au believe whatever the gossip has made of it."

 

She believed him; actually she looked a little relieved. "Ie…of course, I do na," she answered with equal earnestness, and he could see at once that she meant it, and the rest of the tension went out of his shoulders.

 

"Good," he answered with a slight smile, feeling more relaxed than he had in several days. It had been a lie, of course, and he disliked that, but her respect was better than her understanding, for now anyway. He needed to feel like he could still speak and act like an intelligent man and an officer, and that he had na wasted her time in offering him a dining companion. The rest…would have to wait until things had suitably blown over.

 

There was another short silence between them, and then he asked, "What brought au into the medical bay? Na only to see if I had punched a dheno, I think."

 

"Na…na. I had to speak to the Daise'maenek," she answered. "About…something."

 

I am na the only one hiding something. Kelton chuckled. "Ah, ie," he said agreeably, letting the question pass without an answer.

 

She looked relieved that he hadn't pressed, and cast about for a change of subject. Best not to linger on things neither of them wanted to talk about, but what else to speak about… "Would au like a plant?" she asked brightly, then winced, as if she'd expected something else to come out instead.

 

Kelton blinked. "What?"

 

"A…ahhh…plant," she said, looking around as if for an escape route. It was so easy to forget that anyone not regularly involved with the biology labs might not be so quick to understand her interest in them. "A small one, that is," she added, as if that would explain everything. "Something for au room. A late housewarming, ie?" She grinned, looking embarrassed, like she wasn't sure she was making sense, but he smiled, knowing that from her perspective, the offer was a compliment.

 

"Ie. I'd like that. But na rush. Finish au meal." He leaned back in his seat, folding his arms, glancing up towards the ceiling with an odd feeling of contentment. Na rush. Na hurry to get anywhere. Na more than a meal, but au have na lost everything, Kelton. There is still hope.