A Meeting With The Kheinsa

[KhreRiovtRex 0]

A joint log by Khre'Riov L'haiy Kallen t'Rexan and Kheinsa Maec tr'Aieme (t'Ksa)

 

 

“Au should have enough information there to perhaps give au a brief insight as to what may be going on, at least I do hope so,” t’Rexan set her ISD down on the corner of the desk and sat back hrrau her seat. “I’ve also authorized au to pull up the medical records, as well as report files that the crew have just given. Even I do na have access to all of those, but au as maenak will, I am giving au access.”

 

“Intense nightmares you say? If au will excuse me a siuren to read over this file, I’d like to familiarize myself a bit with the circumstances.” Maec tr’Aieme turned to his viewer and began to read as t’Rexan nodded to him. What he was presented with, was more than he had been prepared to read at first. The woman had really been executed; he had just thought it had been a metaphor on her part, for the lack acceptance of her command by the crew, but na, this was a physical execution, by trusted crewmembers yet. He was more than surprised at the immense part that Morgana had taken part in with na only the recovery of the ship from the mutineers, that the Daise Maenak would be crawling through ducts with an ie’yakk rifle? But more importantly, the work with the Khre’Riov, her speed and skill getting her into stasis, fighting off the clones advancing on medical, as well as then identifying who was and wasn’t a clone afterwards while still keeping t’Rexan alive and secreted away while many thought she too was a clone.

 

More than once he had to catch himself from whistling between his teeth at the events that had taken place. Morgana had na let on that she had been so much involved, let alone that it had been such a major event. She had only noted that there had been some sort of issue aboard that she would have to spend some time with Galae Medical working out the details related to the nanogene therapy. Some details! He was surprised they had even let her out of the building, and for that matter, the same with t’Rexan sitting here in front of him. Then again, t’Rexan’s superior officer was the head of Galae, that did offer some pull to release her and he assumed that the fact she was here was part of the arrangement. Khre’Riov t’Rexan, ie, he had to stop being distracted by Morgana’s part for the moment, he could ask more later. And he planned on doing just that. The woman was amazing, as well as humble.

tr’Aieme turned back towards her from the viewer, “Quite the adventure to be sure. So tell me, how do au feel about this?”

 

L’haiy took a deep breath, having dreaded such questions, she had almost na come, but since Var’lon had asked her to go, fahd she was. “Hrrau what way? That I wish the nightmares to stop? Ie, that I do. That the strange intensity of the memory is with me constantly? Ie and it bothers me that I’m having trouble getting past it. In that I’m embarrassed to have to go see someone about this problem? Ie. Having to admit to tr’Vatrix that I even had a problem? Ie, that was an embarrassment as well. But he knows me too well as we’ve known each other for many years, and he insisted I tell him what was bothering me when he said he saw subtle changes hrrau my behavior.”

 

“Why do au feel embarrassment?”

 

Shrugging, “Au know how it’s looked upon by Galae officers. It’s a ‘Sign of Weakness’ to be seen speaking with a Kheinsa, that au can na handle the stress of au duty. For someone hrrau my position, it raises doubts if they can trust me to make the right decision in a snap situation.”

 

“I doubt that the crew would have to worry about that. Galae would remove someone unstable from the position before that were to happen, and if na, the XO and command staff surely would.”

 

“Hasn’t that already been done once, resulting hrrau my death? Ie, that’s something I might still have to be worried about. It could also be part of the reason I’m here, as a test.” Deep down, she doubted that it was indeed a test in light of the last two days, that Var’lon would na do that to her. Granted, in his position, he’d be well within his right to do so, and if it were the case, she could na fault him for it. She understood what his job required of him, and she could na be above that. Were she in his position, she might have to think the same. He had only suggested that she go, there was na insistence, he said he only wanted her to be well. She just feared that any negative outcome here could become evidence against her if needed.

 

“I see here that after you returned to duty on the oira, au dealt with a th’ann a bit, how shall I say, harshly? Had his guilt been proven? I would have expected him to be executed but it says here au wanted to keep him as a witness to ferret out others that were guilty. Yet then I read that au got into an angry exchange of words, and ‘cut the man’s tongue out? Leaving him to bleed to death on the floor of the br’tehh. Is that correct?”

 

“I left him rhea the floor, I assumed io of the others if they felt he should live, would call a maenak. I should have just killed him outright. Ie. And before au go further, I’ll save au the trouble. In my anger, I returned to the oira with the man’s tongue impaled upon my kaleh, where I slammed the blade into the oira railing so that all may see what happens to those that disobey and question my word.”

 

Maec raised his eyebrows, “A bit of a harsh warning. What did the crew think? What if au were wrong about something and they were just trying to correct au?”

 

“I was trying to make a statement. Too many threatening looks, too many whispers heard, plots against me already stirring only hours after my return. Au don’t think I did na hear them? They were blatant about ‘letting’ me hear them!! What did they think? I wanted to terrify them. I wanted to assure them, that I was the t’Rexan of old, which many of them had seen in action against the Cardassians. Ruthless and bloodthirsty. I had to convince them, that though I looked different, that I was still myself. The t’Rexan na afraid of a little blood upon my hands. I was trying to stave off another attempt on my life. I felt I had to be harsh.” She had hrrau her anger half risen to her feet and was leaning partway across the desk. Taking a breath, she composed herself, and sat back down.

 

“I see. And au didn’t think this would make them question au more? Or question au sanity?”

 

Instinctively, her hand had started edge down to where she normally wore her kaleh, but she also knew she was na at the moment. But it made her feel a bit more insecure about being questioned so.

 

“As long as they did their duty, and got the ship back to ch’Rihan, I could give a fvai’s posterior what they thought.”

 

Maec had na missed the slight movement she had made, thankful that she was wearing civilian attire at the siuren. “Au seem like au are getting angry hnah. Tell me more of what au are feeling. Or how au feel when au are ready to turn in for the night?”

 

“I do na like this line of questioning. Au are making it seem as if I used poor judgment in trying to regain control of a mutinous crew and get the ship back.’

 

“Not at all,” Maec held up his hands and kept his voice calming. “I just need some clarification of the events. Did I read correctly that by the time you were back in command, hadn’t most of the traitors already been caught and executed?”

 

“At the time, na all, and I’m sure some got away. I had to set a precedent.”

 

“I see,” He nodded. “So, getting back to these nightmares, can au tell me what it is that au see? How much of it do au remember when au wake? Does it ever change, or have a different outcome? And, have they been getting worse, or less intense over time?” Maec peppered the Khre’Riov with questions, trying to gage her reaction.

 

“Those are a lot of questions,” a bit of a challenge hrrau her voice. “Alright, au want to know? I’ll tell au what I see. Each night, each time I close my eyes. What I see is hate. Pure, seething, unadulterated hate hrrau those eyes. I had been made to wear a hood and was kneeling rhea the floor, all was black. Hnah, the nightmares begin with my being pulled to my feet and the hood being ripped from my head. I see her pulling me towards her with a fistful of my tunic, a sneer as cold as ice on her face as she slams the blade into my midsection, pulling me onto it by my harness, and then the look rhea her face as she gave it that final painful twist. An oddly pleased smile upon her face as she pushes me away and then I’m falling, telling myself I’ve failed this io. Failed hrrau that I pushed her too far, to have that much hate. And that is qiuu as I hit the floor.”

 

Maec just shook his head at how much detailed her memories were, “Alright then, I have some preliminary thoughts I want to share with au. Basically, au died. Yes, au died and au were revived, and I’ve seen these effects before in those that were gravely injured and brought back. However, au are on the extreme end of that spectrum. Au were more than gravely injured, au were for qiuu intensive purposes, brain dead, and only maintained by life support systems in the stasis chambers. Technically, au should not be fahd. The extent of au experience is even beyond my experience or beyond any khiensa’s experience that I know of for that matter. But what I think au are dealing with, is a form of Post Traumatic Stress.“

 

“Post Traumatic Stress? Well, that seems to make some sense, it was…..traumatic to say the least,” she mumbled.

 

“If I may, this is a severe anxiety disorder, which can develop after exposure to a severe event that could lead to some sort of psychological trauma. It often involves the threat of death, injury or something that would overwhelm person’s ability to cope with issues. As au were na only abducted, but held as a hostage, beaten and actually yy’a by io of au own, it makes perfect sense that au are having trouble dealing with this.” tr’Aieme continued, “Clinically, you’ve got all of the classic symptoms. Au are re-experiencing the original trauma through flashback or nightmares, au avoid au crew, au have difficulty sleeping, au anger easily. Other symptoms that may manifest or that au may be having can include abnormally increased arousal, a high responsiveness to stimuli and a constant scanning for threats. Usually one has to show these symptoms for more than a month to prove this diagnosis, but it’s clearly been longer than that.”

 

Maec paused a moment, noting that her face had become slightly flushed when he listed out some of the other symptoms, but then decided that perhaps he was just reading too much into her stress and anger. “The symptoms may result when a traumatic event causes an overactive adrenaline response, which creates deep neurological patterns in the brain. These patterns can persist long after the event that triggered the fear, making an individual hyper-responsive to future fearful situations. What I fear, reading about these nanogenes hrrau the Daise Maenak’s report, is that when they were repairing au body, they may have picked up this increased adrenaline level, and assumed it was the normal level hrrau au brain, and when au were healed, this adrenaline response was intensified. It would explain why au are na sleeping, and why so easy to anger. It would also explain how vivid au nightmares are.”

 

“Seems to have hit the nail on the head,” she said quietly.

 

“Memories are controlled by the base of the hippocampus, which is a little area here at the base of au brain,” as he turns his viewer around to show her a diagram, “but the adrenaline response is also activated fahd, by the prefrontal cortex of the brain.”

 

“Often medications or psychotherapy either with or without medication can be employed to act upon these areas of the brain. Normally these methods would be employed to retrieve repressed memories and heal the stress syndromes that way, but I’m afraid the nanogene therapy au received, may have to make us come at this from another direction, and actually looking to possibly suppress these memories. It’s also possible that this will all pass in time on its own as well.”

 

“However, I have to counter the negative with this. In au case, why shouldn’t au feel pleased by this turn of events? You’ve been brought back, and can try to fix what went wrong. Au have the opportunity for a second chance at things au wish you had taken care of, more or less a fresh start in life if au want to look at it that way.”

 

A slight smile crossed L’haiy’s face hearing the very words Var’lon had given to her about their fresh start, their second chance in life, a chance for them both to be happy.

 

Maec looked at the changed expression on her face and noted it, “I see that perhaps that also ‘hit the nail on the head.’ I take it au have also weighed those aspects to it as well?”

 

“Just remembering something that was said to me in the last day or so regarding that very thing, by a very close friend,” she responded.

 

“Menkha, because having a positive outlook, and positive encouragement from someone au know or are close too, will be very important to pulling au through this. I’m also going to suggest a few other ways that are used to work through this condition, depending on how severe things are. However some may not be effective unless au are rhae total rest and taken off duty. Those would involve the methods I mentioned earlier, medication or psychotherapy with or without medication.”

 

“Removed from duty? I did na come fahd for this! I came for help. tr’Vatrix thought au might be able to help me, but to remove me from my ship?! This time she did stand, anger flashing hrrau her eyes.

 

“Fhaen, sit Khre’Riov, it was only a suggestion. Alternatively, I could suggest some techniques to try first with meditation, or hypnosis. Another course of action we could try would be some sort of social interaction, to help you relax and take au mind off of au ship’s matters for hana. Au did say au had a friend that au had spoken too recently? And that au actually did sleep better after speaking with this friend? And au can also discuss this with the Daise’Khre’Riov as well, as he requested this interview?”

 

“Ie, I can, and I do. I think I would like to start with that first,” she said with the briefest of smiles that she kept to herself.”

 

“Menkah, I’d like for au to spend some time with this friend, and perhaps set aside some time to discuss the matter more fully with tr’Vatrix as well. He may be able to calm some of au fears as to au future as well. But most importantly, if au have someone that is taking au mind from au troubles, I want au to send as much time as possible with that person, and see if that lessens the feelings au are having. I would also like to speak to au again in a few days if I may, to see how au are progressing. I also want to delve a bit more into au rejuvenation, and see if that is causing au issues of settling au identity. I have one other request. May I discuss au case with au Daise Maenak from au ship? I am hoping she can enlighten me a bit more on this nanogene therapy, so that I might better understand how we may help au.”

 

“Oh, Ie, au most assuredly have my permission. She knows my case better than anyone, and will be of the most help to au,” thinking if he became busy with t’Ksa, perhaps he might na push so hard.

 

“Menkha, hnah I apologize, as I have another meeting that I must attend to but fhaen, if au need to contact me at anytime, fhaen do so,” It was a standard dismissal, but he really hoped she didn’t take him too literally. Although if she did take him up on the offer, he would see her to investigate this more thoroughly and make sure that she were sane, and so ensure Morgana’s safety as well. Since she had mentioned that tr’Vatrix had suggested she come, he assumed it was a fleet matter, so made a note to send a copy of his report to the Daise’Khre’Riov to let him know of his subordinate’s condition. However, as tr’Vatrix had asked to keep it discreet, he would deliver the report himself his office to prevent any accidental interception.

 

L’haiy stood and nodded to him, “Hann’yyo for au time tr’Aieme, it was much appreciated and I will let Daise’Khre’Riov tr’Vatrix know how much of a help au have been.” She stood and left the office.