A Cover up?

[Cmdr Ridire 0]

            Debbie had been able to get some rest but not nearly enough. She couldn't claim exhaustion but she was weary...physically, emotionally and every other way imaginable.

 

       When she was overly tired, Debbie was prone to a dreadful syndrome called "Foot In Mouth Disease."  She'd suffered an attack of it in the cargo bay just yesterday when she questioned Commander Ridire's decision to stun the six men now in Reaent's brig. Not only was she out of line, she had badly misjudged the Commander.

 

       As if to prove how badly she'd misjudged him, Ridire had just informed her he didn't mind her questioning his decision. Her timing may have been off, but overall, he wasn't upset or angry. In a convoluted way, the Commander's attitude about the incident only made Debbie feel worse. She would have preferred some type of punishment, even if was only a stern lecture. She almost said something to that affect but decided not to push her luck.

 

       Besides, she had another issue to discuss with Ridire, one that genuinely concerned her. The Reaent had just arrived at Starbase 345. As she and the XO were entering the Ready Room, the Commander announced there would be no shoreleave. He must have seen the expressions on the faces of the bridge crew. Even Mr. Sivuk was taken by surprise.

 

       Debbie knew the Starbase had been locked down after the Cairo disaster. She and the base CMO had tried to keep in touch but it had been very difficult. All communications to and from the base were carefully monitored as were those to and from the Reaent.

 

       The Doctor chose her words carefully. "Is Starbase 345 still locked down? And are they going to lockdown Reaent too? Is that why there will be no shoreleave?"

 

       "Yes," replied Ridire. "Starbase 345 is still locked down.  The colonists and the Cairo's crew will be debriefed there and then they'll be sent on their way.  As for the Reaent being locked down, we will be under lock down while we are at the Starbase.  As soon as the Captain returns we will be departing."

 

       She stepped toward the XO. "This crew needs a break," she stated softly but firmly.

 

       Ridire looked at her and nodded. "I agree with you, Doctor.  But the order came from the Admiral himself."

 

       That was all Debbie needed to hear. She threw her hands up, choking on her frustration. It wasn't Ridire's fault the crew wasn't getting shoreleave. She didn't want to ream him about something he had no control over. The CMO walked to the outside wall of the room and gazed out one of the huge windows. She seriously considered banging her head against the transparent aluminum.

 

       Debbie shook her head in disbelief. Reaent had been damaged and required repair. The crew was exhausted and beyond stressed. All they needed was a few day off to rest.

 

       "They don't care," she fumed. The Doctor whirled around to stare at Ridire. She was clearly annoyed but managed to maintain a civil tone. "They don't give a rat's rear about this crew!" She shook her head again and started pacing. "Why can't we have a few days? This is a huge station. They can handle another fifteen hundred people. And it's not like we'd all be off ship at the same time."

 

       Debbie suddenly stopped pacing and again stared at Ridire. "The powers that be are going to try to keep this quiet, aren't they? That's why they won't let any of us off this ship, isn't it?"

 

       They were not rhetorical questions.

 

      Aidan watches the Doctor pace around the office for a few minutes before he decides to get a hot chocolate from the replicator.  He sits down behind the desk and listens quietly to the Doctor's complaints as he continues to watch her pace.  

 

      When she finishes she turns to face him.  Aidan shrugs slightly and says "Yes, we need a break but unfortunately we're either not going to get it or it is going to have to be while we are all still on the ship.  Once the guests are offloaded Mr. Mclean will be able to return the ship to it's normal operating levels.  And at the least we won't have any alerts going off or even requiring a normal duty shift.  So no, it's not quite as bad as you think."  Even before her eyes narrow, Aidan knew it was the wrong thing to say.

 

      Aidan sighs "De...Doctor, if it was up to me I'd order the ship to Risa for a week. Unfortunately, it's not up to me.  Nor is it up to the Captain.  It is up to the Admiral in charge of this sector so if you want to try and persuade that Admiral to change their mind then you should be wearing three gold pips instead of me....if you can pull it off.  As for myself I intend to read a couple books, spend some time in the holodeck and most importantly...grieve.  First though and most importantly, I need to contact Fiona's family, my old ship, and Nick among others and tell them what happened."

 

      Aidan takes a sip of the hot chocolate before continuing "As for what happening to the Cairo and to Rigel being covered up, how?  You can't cover up a ship being wiped out any more then you can cover up how a planet died.  It's bloody near impossible.  Especially given the number of people involved.  There's an old adage that says that the chances of successfully keeping a secret is directly and inversely proportional to the number of people involved.  With this one we are talking about thousands of people, Doctor.  So no...Starfleet and the Federation are not going to be able to keep it secret.  However, there is a difference between covering something up and making sure it doesn't cause a mass panic when it hits the news and being prepared in case it does cause a mass panic.  

 

       Aidan takes a sip of the hot chocolate before continuing "As for what happened to the Cairo and to Rigel being covered up, how?  You can't cover up a ship being wiped out any more then you can cover up how a planet died.  It's bloody near impossible.  Especially given the number of people involved.  There's an old adage that says that the chances of successfully keeping a secret is directly and inversely proportional to the number of people involved.  With this one we are talking about thousands of people, Doctor.  So no...Starfleet and the Federation are not going to be able to keep it secret.  However, there is a difference between covering something up and making sure it doesn't cause a mass panic when it hits the news and being prepared in case it does cause a mass panic. 

 

       Not as bad as it seems? Easy for him to say, she thought ruefully. He's not the one who has to deal with it. Debbie was just about to say something she would probably regret later on. But Ridire saved her from another attack of Foot In Mouth. He saw it coming and cut her off.

 

       His explanation regarding a possible cover up was perfectly logical. Debbie had to admit it would be nearly impossible to keep something of this magnitude quiet. That was especially true considering the number of people involved. She was simply angry at these anonymous admirals who showed so little concern for an overworked and heavily stressed crew. And she was a bit curious about the Commander's "mass panic" remark.

 

       The CMO slipped into one of the chairs facing the desk. She'd almost forgotten about Fiona. For some reason, she half expected Ridire to accompany his friend's body home. Perhaps that had been the plan. Unfortunately, there would be no leave for anyone so Fiona's escort would be someone other than Aidan Ridire. She took a deep breath and tried to steer her thoughts away from the no shoreleave issue. All it did was make her furious.

 

        Debbie had to admit she was merely speculating. She didn't know what the Commander's plans were regarding Fiona Nashawryn. She did agree that Ridire needed time to grieve for his friend. He'd mentioned someone named Nick. This Nick was probably the third leg of the triangle. Perhaps he was the one Fiona had fallen in love with? Debbie debated whether or not to ask.

 

       She remained quiet for a moment and then looked at Ridire. "I thought you might have wanted to escort Fiona home. But that isn't possible now, is it." She slouched in the chair just a little. "Will this Nick person take her home?"

 

      Whatever he had been expecting the doctor to say, it wasn't that.  It takes him a few seconds to respond which he does by shaking his head and saying "I intend to take Fiona's body back to Earth myself assuming that I am allowed to do so.  If not then unfortunately she will be taken home without any escort.  As for Nick taking her, that would be...improbable.  Nick is the First officer on Skyharbor Aegis in the Cardassian system.  I'm sure he'll ask for leave once he finds out but even the fastest runabout wouldn't get here or to earth in time."

 

       Debbie stared at her boots for a long moment. She knew she was treading on highly sensitive ground. The odds were Fiona Nashawryn would return to Earth for burial without an escort. And...the Commander knew it. Talk about grief.  The CMO thought back to a previous conversation she had with Ridire. He mentioned there was someone else who be even more upset about Fiona's death than he was. That someone else must be the mysterious Nick. When Nick found out, would he feel as responsible for what happened as Ridire did?

      

       Debbie looked up. "You never know, Commander. They may grant you leave." She hesitated only a moment before climbing out on a limb. "So," continued the Doctor. "Nick left Venture to become First Officer of Aegis and you left to become First Officer of Reaent. Is that when Fiona decided to transfer to Cairo?"

 

      Somehow Aidan knew the Doctor was going to ask that.  He shrugs slightly "It might have played a part.  I didn't know that she had decided to transfer until..well...until the original away team mission to the Cairo.  She had received the offer about the time I was deciding on mine.  I guess I'll never know for sure which part, if any, it played in her decision, Doctor.  The guilt is still mine and Nick will feel the exact same."  He pauses then says "No, he'll feel it worse."  He sighs "On the other hand, Fiona was perfectly capable of deciding independently.  We were her closest friends, yes, but she was hardly a teenage girl, Doctor."

 

       Debbie was a little concerned the Commander would evade the question. She was greatly relieved when he chose to answer it and thereby, continue their conversation. His feelings of guilt over Fiona's death troubled the Doctor. Grief over the loss of a close friend was one thing. But grief coupled with guilt was far worse, especially if the guilt was irrational.

 

       Ridire had just stated the obvious. Fiona wasn't a teenager. She was a 33 year old woman, an adult by anyone's definition. She was also a highly trained physician and a Starfleet officer. In plain language, she was quite capable of making her own decisions. So why did Aidan Ridire insist on feeling responsible for her untimely death?

      

       And Nick? Why would he feel worse about this than Ridire? Debbie decided to climb further out on the limb. She would proceed from the Nick angle and work her way back to Ridire's "irrational" feelings of guilt. 

 

       "Was Nick in love with Fiona?" asked the CMO quietly. "Or was it the other way around?"

 

      Aidan smiles faintly and shakes his head "No, nothing quite so Freudian.  There was a certain amount of...mutual attraction I'm sure but Nick wouldn't have let it go anywhere.  Partly because he didn't want to throw a wrench in the proverbial monkey-works.  And also because...well...how to explain this."  He pauses for a few seconds then says "I'm not entirely sure that cadets in the medical program at the Academy have to take this particular test but I did.  I called it the Greatest fear test but it's really known as the Psych test.  They set up a situation, based on a cadets psych profile, that makes the Cadet deal with that fear.  Mine was having to order someone to do something, knowing full well that it was a suicide mission.  Nick's was, as he told me after he and I became friends on the Venture, watching all of his companions be killed and he was the only one to survive.  That they died despite his best efforts to save them.  Most people fear death.  Nick doesn't fear death but he does hate and loathe it, however..in effect he fears the absence of it.  Specifically that everyone he cares about will die and he will be the only one to survive.  That doesn't make him suicidal, far from it, but he always keeps part of himself shielded from those he cares about, outside of immediate family, simply because he knows the relationship is transitory..that it will be nothing more then ash one day..that those he cares about will be ash..and he will still exist.  And he didn't think..in fact he knew that Fiona did not and could not ever understand that.   And for him there was no way around that."

 

       Debbie listened quietly while the Commander talked about his friends. It was probably the best thing he could do for himself right now...sit back and remember them...one alive and well...the other now in a stasis unit about to make her final voyage home.

 

       "Fiona may have understood," offered Debbie with a slight smile. "She just didn't agree with Nick's philosophy." She paused a moment. "Death comes along with life. It's all part of the same package. You can't allow your fear of death to prevent your from embracing life...and that includes truly close relationships. As a physician, Fiona would have known that. Your friend Nick doesn't want to get too close to the fire for fear of getting burned. Unfortunately, he'll miss out on all the warmth life has to offer...and that's a shame."

 

      Aidan shakes his head "No, it's not a difference of philosophy.  It's a difference of emotions and biology.  Let me ask you a question.  If half of your genetic make-up gave you the ability to live centuries wouldn't you more then a little concerned about the ramifications of getting involved with someone that would only live, at best, another 70 years?  And if and until you worked through those concerns like your parents did wouldn't you be more shielded then most people are when it comes to romantic relationships?"

 

       Debbie leaned forward and frowned. "That depends on how long it takes you to work through those concerns," she answered. "Besides, I assumed we were discussing humans. Unless Nick possesses a genetic predisposition toward extreme longevity, I should think he'd be quite satisfied with a seventy year relationship. Most people would consider such a thing a dream come true."

 

       Aidan shakes his head "No, it's not a difference of philosophy.  It's a difference of emotions and biology.  Let me ask you a question.  If half of your genetic make-up gave you the ability to live centuries wouldn't you more then a little concerned about the ramifications of getting involved with someone that would only live, at best, another seventy years?  And if and until you worked through those concerns like your parents did wouldn't you be more shielded then most people are when it comes to romantic relationships?"

 

       Debbie leaned forward and rested her arms on the desk. "That depends on how long it takes you to work through those concerns," she answered. "Besides, I assumed we were discussing humans. Unless Nick possesses a genetic predisposition toward extreme longevity, I should think he'd be quite satisfied with a seventy year relationship. Most people would consider such a thing a dream come true. Obviously he doesn't."

 

       Ridire started to speak but there was something else Debbie just had to say. "I'm sure you'll do what you can to help Nick through this mess. But I'm more concerned about you." The Doctor smiled slightly. "After all, you're my boss and that means my life is in your hands, not to mention the other 550 or so lives on this ship." I'd like those hands to be rock steady."

 

       She leaned back in the chair. "So my question is this...how are going to get through this mess?"

 

      Aidan shakes his head slightly "Your assumption was my fault.  To humans seventy years is a long time..but even to a person who is half El Aurian seventy years is little more then the blink of an eye.  Fiona would have become an old woman and Nick would look more or less like he does right now.  At any rate, as for how I am going to get through this...mess as you say I quite honestly have no clue yet.  One can mentally prepare for one's death or the death of people one cares about but that says little about how one actually deals with it.  I've been too busy with other facets of the problem so I haven't been able to deal with the main part of it.  I do know that sooner or later we'll find out exactly pulled the strings here."

 

      Aidan finishes the last of the hot chocolate and then sets it back on the replicator for it to be disposed of.  As he does so he says "Doctor, you're thinking that my guilt is misplaced.  No it's not...I'm feeling guilty because I wasn't there to protect her.  That was one of my responsibilities to her.  Just as it's one of my responsibilities to you and everyone else on this ship.  The only difference was that here it is a responsibility of duty.  With her it was a responsibility of the heart.  Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to attempt to get some sleep.  I probably won't be real successful at that but then I'm having nightmares whether I'm awake or not.  Good night, doctor."  With those last words, Aidan steps through the Ready Room doors and disappears into the nearby turbolift."