On the Battlefield (Finlay/Spader)

[Jennifer Spader 0]

“On the Battlefield”

A log by Lieutenant Jennifer Spader and Freighterless Captain Caden Finlay

 

Fin was fuming when he walked along the corridor to sickbay. He wanted to see Deshaun who had sustained minor injuries while helping evacuate the docking ring. A giant man had run into him trying to save some supplies. The secondary motive for his visit to sickbay was that he hoped to find some brass there, or a cane in the case of Drankum, Fin was ready to demand some answers.

 

This whole trip out here had been a disaster from start to finish. First he had run into Jen, which wasn’t bad per se, but she had acted like a...woman. Then when he finally had a date with some doctor, the whole station fell apart. Not that he cared much about the station, but whatever had caused this disintegration had also destroyed his ship. And not a single one of those bloody, slimy, uniformed worms thought it necessary to inform him about what was going on. The Slighe Chlann Uisnich was his life, quite literally. It was his only source of income, it was his home, and it was the same to his crewmembers. Yet, nobody seemed to understand that, and that infuriated him the most.

 

The doors of sickbay slid open and a Federation officer stepped out, her head down, studying the floor, and her shoulder collided with Fin’s as he turned the corner into the med facility. Jen Spader yelped, startled at the sudden impact, and backpedaled, her head coming up to see who she had struck, words of apology dying on her tongue as she realized who it was.

 

Speak of the devil... was all she could think for a moment; she had just been inquiring after Fin’s safety and now here he was in all his glory. He was looking madder than a hornet, of course, but for a moment she didn’t even register that; a feeling of relief went through her stronger even than she’d expected. “Caden!” she said, a rough smile flashing onto her face, the old name coming back by force of habit. “You made it alright...”

 

Fin stopped dead in his tracks when he heard his name. The relief in her voice, however, was completely lost on him. He said in a quiet voice which was barely above a whisper, “Made it alright? Do I look like I made it alright, Lieutenant?” The next statement came out as a bark of pure unbridled fury. “I am not alright!”

 

Spader’s head snapped back as if he had struck her and her implant-eyes narrowed in startled anger at his tone. Somewhere in the back of her mind she understood that she was probably just a proxy for his anger at the situation in general, but the rest of her, the part of her that was pissed as hell herself (about many things) and had been honestly trying to set it aside in favor of the positive light, seethed with a sudden righteous indignation at his lack of gratitude. “Oh...of course. ‘Scuse me,” she answered, the relief dropping from her tone in favor of a defensive acidity. “I figured I could maybe say that, given that you managed to escape a station falling apart in the middle of deep space with your skin intact. Thought that could be considered good luck. My mistake.”

 

“Well, I don’t consider it good luck to have lost my job, my home, all of my possessions and those of my crewmates. I am supposed to be strolling along the promenade of your blasted station with a woman holding my hand and wanting to...” He broke off, he couldn’t take thinking about what this day should have been like any longer. As for Jen’s worry, he didn’t care; she was neither his mother nor his girlfriend, so she was in no position to make such a fuss.

 

It absolutely wasn’t jealousy that led to the roll of the eyes from Jen that answered this statement of wishful thinking. Definitely not. Just a certain aggravation at his constant assumption that he was the center of the therak universe. “Yes, for the rest of us the loss of the station was just a momentary inconvenience, I suppose,” she said coolly. “You’ll get another ship, I imagine -- you always knew how to find a way to move on.”

 

She really didn’t get it. “You know, every goddamn day that you are stranded on this blasted ship you will know that you will always have food and a place to stay. Excuse me for being extremely angry for nobody realising that I do not enjoy such luxuries. No cargo, no pay. No pay, no food. No ship, no place to stay. Why won’t any of you stupid Fleeters get that into your thick heads?” He was positively yelling now. It felt good, even though he knew he was targeting the wrong one, but he just couldn’t stop once he had started.

 

“Maybe we’ve got more on our plates than one angry cargo-runner,” Spader said, her tone grating in her throat with frustration at the jibe. “But you’re right, I’m sorry, we should be focusing on you and nothing but you, never mind an entire Sky Harbor taking up space potentially being completely scuttled to our aft quarter, God forbid you spend a few days off your schedule that you would have spent with some airheaded bimbo anyway--”

 

Fin clenched his fist, which was a bad sign, because it always meant he had to hit someone... or something. Even though Jen was really pissing him off, he didn’t want to hit her. So he hit the wall instead... hard... too hard. Perfect, just perfect. Of course he didn’t show his pain to Jen, that would have been way too embarrassing. “I’m not saying that you and the rest of that Ferengi’s minions shouldn’t care about that stupid station of yours, but someone could at least have had the courtesy to inform me of what is going on. Even though you are sadly convinced that I only care about myself, I have a crew to take care of. You know, despite everything that ever happened between us, the times you hauled my butt into campus house arrest, the times you wrestled me to the ground after I tried to climb the fence...I always knew you were on my side. You did what you had to do, but now, I don’t know Jen, you need to see past that uniform every now and then, the way you used to.”

 

Spader flushed. “Why? What loyalty should I have to you? I stuck it out, I put in the work, and you turned your tail and ran. I have a job here and you’ll forgive me if it’s my first priority.” Her jaw worked and she looked away from him abruptly. “I wish you’d stayed away.”

 

Taking a step forward, she pushed past him, nudging him out of her path down the corridor without a backward glance. “Good choice, by the way,” she added caustically over her shoulder. “Punching the wall outside of sickbay. Means you’ll get attention right away. That’s what you always want, isn’t it?” And she disappeared around a corner.

 

Fin turned and yelled after her, “You just don’t get it, do you? You never did!”