No Objections

[DrDMatthews 0]

Debbie was sitting on the edge of the couch when Aidan walked in, her hands clasped so tightly her knuckles had gone white. A plethora of emotions bombarded her, all of them negative. She doubted it was possible for her to feel any worse than she already did.

 

He frowns darkly the second he spots Deb. By her body language alone he can tell how closed off she is. It’s exactly like when she thought he died. If anything his frown darkens at that thought. He steps towards her, not quite sure what to expect.

 

"I just declared Kat Schawnsee unfit for duty," quipped Deb, her voice clearly betraying her frustration. "What's worse, I've ordered her to a psychiatric rehabilitation facility. She'll be leaving the ship when we dock at the starbase."

 

Standing up, she walked around the coffee table in front of the sofa. Aidan moved toward her but she held up a hand warning him not to come closer. "And you know why this happened?" she asked cryptically. "Fear, that's why. Fear of losing the one she loves most in the universe. This last mission pushed her over the edge and she could no longer deal with the fear. It literally swallowed her alive."

 

Deb looked down at the floor and shook her head. "We both know that same fear," she continued plaintively, fighting to keep back the tears.. "And sooner or later, I'm afraid there will be a mission that pushes one of us over the edge. I'm afraid of that fear overwhelming us. Worse yet, I'm terrified that fear will be laced with grief because you'll be gone."

 

He sighs and murmurs "If anyone is to blame it is me for assigning her this mission. Perhaps I should have recognized she wasn’t ready for it. Though..on the flip side I hardly had any idea that the station would be quite the...problem it turned out to be."

 

"You're not to blame for this, " whispered Debbie. "No one is to blame though I must admit, I'm looking for someone to pin it on. You had every right to include her on the away team. She's been through far worse than this last mission."

 

He steps towards her but stops a half step away. He brings a hand up to brush her tears away but he doesn’t try and embrace her, not yet. "I can’t say the possibility doesn’t exist. We both knew this was a dangerous job when we joined Starfleet and we both knew it would stay dangerous even after we got married. But I also recognize that if we hadn’t joined Starfleet we would never have met much less fallen in love. And becoming involved with you, marrying you is not something I regret. It...you are the best thing in my life, Deb. Nothing changes that."

 

"She's my friend, Aidan," groaned Debbie. "I know her well. Of all the people on this ship, Kat is the last person I expected to fall apart like this." She turned around and took a step further away from her husband. "I keep thinking I should have seen it coming. She was distressed at the briefing following the mission. But she talked to Dr. Curtis after that and she seemed to calm down." Whirling around, she again faced Aidan. "Is this what we have to look forward to?"

 

He steps towards her and rests his hands gently at her waist. "Well I’ll point out something before you start blaming yourself for not noticing. I seem to recall right after that meeting..or rather right after we got out of Sickbay and heard that we were heading to the Starbase you and I started concentrating more or less completely on each other. Speaking for myself I wasn’t exactly thinking of anyone beyond the two of us and the cat during that time. Furthermore we both had our own and each others recovery from what happened to put us in Sickbay to deal with." He shrugs slightly "Sometimes its harder to notice something then it seems it should be in hindsight."

 

"As for if that's what we have to look forward to I can’t answer that. I hope not but I am not going to pretend I can predict the future. All I can do is do my best to protect the two of us. And my best to make sure that we don’t go through what she is apparently going through. And I think that’s all you can do as well, sweetheart." He cants his head to the side and asks "Are you saying you want to leave?"

 

She hadn't quite expected him to ask that question but it was at the root of the problem. Leaving was the only way to insure neither of them had to deal with the type of issues now facing Kat and Angel. Smiling ruefully, Deb shrugged her shoulders, her eyes misting to the point she could barely see. "I know I want to leave. I just don't know exactly when," she stammered. "But I'm certain I want out before either of us is eaten alive by the sheer uncertainty of this lifestyle."

 

He steps into her and holds her tightly against him. He tucks his head against hers and murmurs "I want out of here as well. I don’t want to stay here the rest of my life, I want to go back to Earth...home with you and see about the next stage of our life. To spend as much time with you as possible, to not have to worry about red alerts or various departments in Starfleet or any of that nonsense." He tips his head back and looks into her eyes before saying quietly "I’m just not sure when yet. I just know I want that sooner then I wanted it three years ago."

 

They stood in the middle of the room, silently clinging to each other, for two or three minutes. "I think I want it sooner than later as well," mumbled Debbie. She pulled away far enough to look up into Aidan's stunning green eyes. "But, like you, I'm not sure how soon that is."

 

"Perhaps at some point we should start figuring out how soon. But while we remain here all I can do is have faith that we will make it through and do everything in my power to ensure that happens. My future lies with you, not with Starfleet." He kisses her forehead and tightens his arms around her. "But for tonight, if I can play Doctor and make a prescription, we should see to supper and then lets go to bed. I don’t know about you but I could use some holding." He shrugs and adds "Or I’m open to suggestions."

 

She had no objections. At the moment, all she wanted to do was forget about what was going on outside of her quarters. Tomorrow, they would dock at the station. There would be new personnel arriving and transfers leaving for their new assignments. Among them would be the Reaent's security chief. Debbie would be there to bid farewell to her friend. It wouldn't be easy so she needed tonight to prepare and Aidan's prescription sounded like the perfect cure for what ailed her.

 

"Dinner and bed sounds fine to me," she finally replied. "We might even talk about the future a little. Considering the circumstances, this might be the perfect time to start figuring out how much longer we're going to stay."

 

He nods, "Yes, I think so. And as for tomorrow, if no objection, I’ll be there." He lets go of her but then reaches for her hand and guides her gently towards the table. He quickly decides what to have for supper, intending to make it something simple and easy. If only just to get to the second part of the plan.