Why?

[NDak 0]

He hated this quadrant. Loathed it. Abhorred it. The Lloann’na, he heard, were calling it the great new frontier. It was, they said, a place where legends would be made and dreams fulfilled. What tripe. As far as the Daise’Erei’Riov of the Talon could tell, this quadrant and the portal which led to it, had brought nothing but pain and suffering to the Alpha Quadrant. It had been the source of the greatest war any now alive had witnessed, it had brought terror after terror to those ships who ventured into this quadrant. That terror had visited itself on the Talon as well.

 

Glancing to the note he’d started to write on the mission report, he exhaled. They had escaped the nebula without incident and were now on final approach to the wormhole. He hoped that they could make the crossing without further incident, but he knew better than to be unprepared. Battle drills had commenced for the last week every other shift change. The crew hated them, but he knew that if the worst did happen, they would be prepared for anything.

 

Engineering had been busy too. Ships systems were now almost fully repaired, and though their supply of torpedoes was running low, they had enough of arsenal to defend themselves. While they had also lost a large amount of the bounty of latnium from the accursed planet, there was still more than enough to reward the crew and more than enough to buy their way out of trouble back home.

 

Home. The thought lingered in his mind. The crew was happy to be home, no doubt; and while he was personally happy to escape the quagmire of a quadrant, he had his own reservations about returning to ch’Rihan. Certainly he did look forward to the sight of the amethyst oceans, the smell of the salty breeze, and the warmth of the homesun shining upon his face. Yet, everytime he returned home, he found himself wanting to leave. There were so many burdens there. His family. His expectations.

 

When they returned, there would be questions about the mission, about everything that had happened. He knew that his every decision both as Executive officer and particularly those he made as commanding officer would be questioned, scrutinized, and turned against him. He cared little for the power games that would be played, nor did he worry too much. He had acted in the spirit of the regulations of the Galae and acted with honor. If they choose to try to destroy him now, after all he had done – it would be their dishonor not his and he knew that time would vindicate him.

 

It was almost funny, now that he thought of it, that he didn’t have to be on this infernal ship. He could have transferred. Could have mustered out. Could have taken the offer from the Tal’Shiar. Yet, he didn’t. He’d chose this path and the dangers that came with it. Why?

 

Why?

[STSF_BluRox 0]

I think he's secretly in love with someone on the ship and doesn't want to admit it to himself!