"A Visit to the Counselor"

[Shane 0]

<<continued from last week's sim...>> "I have to face the fact that my family has disappeared and I'm the only one that wants to keep looking for them," Shane said in a frustrated tone as he sat in a chair across the way from the Reaent's counselor, Caroline, where he had been for the last half-hour. He had been struggling with what to do, what to even think with his families mysterious disappearance. Having walked by Caroline's office as he had many times before, Shane had given in to his need to talk to someone about the whole incident and now he felt like he couldn't stop hardly long enough to breathe. He must be more of a mess than he had thought. "Starfleet may consider them to be lost and gone, but I can't just give up. I just...can't."

 

 

 

"Nor should you," Caroline responded, keeping her eyes on Shane's frustrated gaze with an understanding expression. "Hope is a powerful thing...and I have to imagine that the message you feel you're hearing from Starfleet is one that it's hard to hold up hope against. The fact that you are still adamant about this shows that you have not given up hope, and that is admirable." She paused. These were the most difficult types of conversations; she certainly couldn't bring his family back to him, she could only attempt to make the situation more...comprehensible, something he could deal with and choose his own reaction to. "What do you want to do?" she asked neutrally after a moment's silence, watching his expression carefully. The question was a calculated one -- both of them knew that Starfleet's authority trumped their own, and that his options were limited, but talking out what he expected or desired out of the situation could be therapeutic, or open up new avenues of discussion.

 

"I want to go back to the Sol System and continue my own investigation. Shortly before Wade and I had to evacuate the station, we found the sensor readouts of a strange ship that neither of us could identify. The ship had apparently arrived and left several hours before we arrived. I believe that craft is the key to finding out what happened. I asked for the data that Starfleet found in its investigation of the station's remains, but they refused saying it was classified and have the area of the crime under guard." Shane sat back in the chair, his shoulders, artificial and real, sagging while his face went from a frustrated, angry look to one that was grim and dejected. "I feel like my hands are tied."

 

 

 

Caroline pursed her lips slightly. She was no expert in Starfleet's methods of intelligence gathering and certainly not in the sort of event Shane was talking about, so it was hard to decide exactly how to respond to this. She could, however, tell that the engineer was feeling pulled in far too many directions, and guilty for considering all of them important. "The fact that the information is classified shows that Starfleet considers it important," she said slowly after a moment's pause. "Have you considered the idea that it may be your safety they are concerned for by telling you to avoid pursuing the issue?"

 

 

Shane was silent. He hadn't thought of that before. If there was someone within the Federation that was involved in the disappearance like he suspected, that didn't necessarily mean that everyone in Starfleet was involved. But that still left with him with the question: What do I do now? "So what would be the best course of action? Just wait?" He said the last question a little distaste.

 

Caroline smiled. "That's not something I can decide for you -- but it sounds as if this is a situation which demands...discretion at best. You are hurt, worried...scared perhaps...and loss or injury of a parent is a very hard thing, no matter what the circumstances, and yours are worse than most, because you don't really know what happened. I feel for you in that -- if you did not feel it strongly, I would be highly concerned." She paused, then went on carefully, "However...it is easy to get swept up in that, and to act with your heart rather than your head. If it *is* your safety they are concerned for...then it seems to me you should be very sure that you are acting according to what makes sense to you, and not just...the heat of the moment." She paused slightly then looked him in the eye, seeing the frustration and distaste there. "I can't honestly recommend you disobey Starfleet's directives, no matter how much personal relief you might feel it will bring you -- especially in a matter that might affect your safety, or someone else's. But more than anything, I would advise you to wait, yes, until you are sure of what you want to do."

 

 

Looking at the floor, Shane considered her words for a few moments, and then slowly began to nod his head. "You're right," He said, looking back at Caroline, "I've been letting my anger of what happened and my fear for my family's safety influence my thoughts to the point to where I'm considering irrational actions. I could be making the situation worse if I keep thinking this way. So...yeah, I think I'll wait."

 

 

Caroline nodded, somewhat impressed with the composure with which the distressed young man addressed himself to her advice and his decision. Her confidence in him heightened accordingly; he would make a choice eventually, and perhaps it would not be the one she recommended, but at least it would be a considered one. "Alright," she said gently. "And for what it's worth, Shane, I'm very sorry for what you've been put through. Whatever else you'd like to talk about, I'm entirely at your disposal."

 

 

 

Standing up, Shane shook his head, "No, I think that's it. For now anyways, though I appreciate the opportunity to talk to you about these things. It's a...relief to be able to make a decision, whether it's the right one or not. I just hope that it is."