A Light in the Darkness

[Annabelle O'Halloran 0]

 

It was later than she expected when she got back to her quarters. The meeting in the Conference Room had gone on for a while, although it had been wonderful to see Captain Michaels--he seemed...well, he seemed the same. Clearly he'd recovered or he wouldn't have been able to join them for the upcoming mission. After the meeting, she'd spent the rest of the afternoon in the offices of the science department, catching up with everyone, meeting a couple of new transfers and going over department objectives and schedules. She didn't especially enjoy the admin side of the job and was very grateful that Dr. Smith's office door was always open to her. He was enormously helpful and very patient.

 

All in all, the day had stretched on and gotten away from her and it wasn't until she checked for personal messages and found none waiting that she realized she'd expected to have one from Will. She checked the small crystal clock secured to a shelf in the living area--it was precious to her, having been her great-grandmother's and was now showing it was past 19:00 hours. Her gaze fixed unseeingly on Chauncey sleeping in his cage (a miracle), she raised her hand and was about to tap her comm badge when she hesitated, her hand slowly dropping back to her side. Her relationship with Will was still as shiny and newly minted as a fresh bar of latinum sporting its maker stamp, but she knew that if he wanted to talk to her, she would be hearing from him.

 

But she wanted to talk to him.

 

"Computer, what is the location of Lieutenant William Tomlinson?"

 

"Lieutenant William Tomlinson is in his assigned quarters on Deck 8."

 

Anna immediately left her quarters, still dressed in the day's uniform. Hastily walking the corridor bend to the nearest turbolift, she looked back over this morning's events with a slightly different viewpoint. Will had come racing back up the trail and told her that Tabor was gone. His father had known something was up because he'd urged her to stay on the porch, but her first thought had been that Will might be in trouble. Next thing she knew, Will and his dad had rushed into Jared's office and they hadn't emerged until three minutes before they'd beamed back to the Reaent, with Will muttering he'd talk to her later.

 

Her worry had all been for Tabor's well being. Will had made it clear, and Tabor's own behavior had backed it up, that Tabor was going through something, and she shouldn't ask questions about it. But now, taking the first opportunity she'd really had to think about it, she realized something else--Will was probably blaming himself. It would be just like him, she thought, stepping into the turbolift and requesting the deck. He was very protective, it was his nature and he referred to Tabor as his wing mate, his 'brother'. He was probably wracked with guilt. Anna stepped off the turbolift and now walked a little more slowly than usual till she stood outside his door, hesitating to tap the chime. She wasn't sure of her welcome or even that there'd be one. But she needed to see him, see how he was...even if he didn't want to talk about the details or felt that he couldn't. She took a deep breath and tapped the chime.

 

The door silently slid open and the first thing she saw was that a few knick-knacks were broken on the floor as if they had been hurtled at the wall with great velocity. Looking past the destruction, Anna spotted Will at the window with his back to her; he appeared to be gazing at the stars. When she came to his side, he finally turned his face to her. He was obviously a mess; his eyes were red and bloodshot as if he'd been crying hard very recently. He opened his mouth to speak to her but found he didn't have any words to say. He merely grasped her hand tightly while making sure that it was loose enough so that she wouldn't lose circulation or be harmed. He sighed and looked down, still having no idea what to say to her.

 

"Will?" Shocked by how ravaged his face looked, Anna unconsciously tightened her grasp in his, wishing he would look at her again. She stood at his side, facing the window but not really seeing the view, wondering if there'd been some terrible news--if perhaps it had been discovered that Tabor had been hurt...or worse. "Will, please," she asked again, turning her head to look at his profile, while giving his hand a gentle tug. "Please tell me what happened this morning."

 

Will looked at her with sadness, "I went looking for Tabor so that we could all beam back here. As I went out on the trail, something didn't feel right. It was like there was an intruder nearby. It's a sense that my father helped develop." He looked out at the stars. "I started looking for Tabor and I began to hear a transporter beam cycling. I got there just as Tabor and someone else disappeared." He looked at Anna, "If I had kept track of Tabor, I could've prevented this, but I failed. I failed to protect him and now he is in hostile hands, God only knows where, doing God only knows what." Will's face suddenly hardened. "I want him back, Anna. I want him back." He looked at her and chuckled with no humor. "It's funny, if this is how I react when Tabor is missing..." He stroked her cheek ever so gently, "How would I react if you went missing?"

 

"You'd come looking for me because you know I have no sense of direction and would realize I probably zigged when I should have zagged," she answered with a half smile that didn't reach her eyes. She realized he was torturing himself with what ifs. With 'what I should have dones' and 'if onlys'. "Will, Tabor is a trained Fleet officer. He knows how to take care of himself--you know he does. And how could you have prevented him from being transported? If they wanted Tabor dead, they would have killed him already. But what if you'd gotten to him? What if they'd killed you because you got in the way?" She heard her voice rising and strove to control it, making an effort to bring logic to bear. She suddenly felt as if he'd had a very narrow escape. "Did Tabor know he was in danger? Is that why all the secrecy this past three weeks?"

 

Will regarded her for a moment before answering, "Remember when he tried to steal a fighter, and was going to be transferred but mysteriously came back no questions asked?" When she nodded, he continued, "Someone way high up has Tabor on a leash. I don't have all the details but I'm pretty sure whomever it is, I'm sure he or his cronies have him doing God knows what." He sighed again, "He doesn't want many people knowing the details for fear of endangering them." Will looked out the window, "Bottom line, he is in trouble and I can't help him right now. I've never enjoyed the feeling of helplessness and now I feel it more keenly than I have ever felt it before." He looked at her as if asking for help.

 

"I know it's not easy for you," she answered gently. She did know that about him. He had a take charge personality and wouldn't ever be comfortable having to cede control of a situation to someone else. One of the reasons he was such an excellent pilot but not conducive to sitting around and waiting. "You're not alone--I know your father knows the details and you've told Angel. It's a Starfleet matter. You blame yourself, but no one else does. I know Tabor doesn't."

 

Will nodded, letting go of her hand. "Well, I always have been my own harshest critic." He didn't know what else to say so he walked away from her and sat on the couch. His gaze once more drifting away from reality as he sat there.

 

Anna turned from the window, watching as he moved away, missing the warmth of his hand around hers. She felt a little defeated, realizing she didn't know the right words to try and make him feel better. He wouldn't cease blaming himself until he knew Tabor was safe, and even then, she had a feeling he would always carry some residual guilt. It was clear to her that he wanted to be alone and though it was hard, she started what felt like a long walk across his living area, her eyes fixed on the door. "You are too hard on yourself, but I understand," she said softly, moving past the couch, wanting nothing more than to sit down and throw her arms around him, promising that it would be ok. That really only worked on her nieces and nephews and by the time they reached eight or nine, they'd started giving her the fish eye. Will was incredibly stubborn, she'd found that much out already and if his mind was set, it was set. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," she offered, thinking it was wrong to leave him like this, as she tripped the sensor and his door slid open onto the corridor.

 

He heard her but the words didn't sink in until the door opened, and his eyes flashed back to reality. "Anna wait!" When she paused, he got up and approached her. He put his hands on her shoulders and whispered in her ear. When the door slid closed again, he felt her slowly turn until she was facing him. When she looked into his eyes, he suddenly felt a need that he'd NEVER felt before. He kissed her gently at first but it quickly become more and more passionate and fervent. He wasn't even aware that he was slowly moving her back away from the door and deeper into the room, leaving the living area, and entering his bedroom.

 

Don't leave. He'd whispered and she'd turned, searching his expression, so grateful to see he was really looking at her, that the blank emptiness of just a few moments ago was gone. As always, whenever he took her in his arms she forgot about everything else. She was aware of them moving but didn't realize they were in his bedroom until she registered the light changing. There was no light activated, the only illumination came from what spilled through the open doorway. They'd never made it this far before and she tightened her arms around him, her need for him greater than at any time before. This had a feeling of inevitability about it and Anna had a fleeting thought that at least he wasn't thinking about Tabor when he was with her like this.

 

It was only a few moments later when they landed on his bed. She fell on to her back and he landed beside her. He stopped kissing her long enough to look her up and down. He loved the idea of having her in his bed like this. Will bent down and kissed her over and over and over again until all thoughts fled from his mind.

 

 

The next morning...

 

Will opened his eyes to find Anna comfortably asleep, curled up next to him. He smiled for a moment though it was tinged with a bit of regret. For a moment, he wished they hadn't slept the night away in their clothes but he knew it was for the best. He remembered last night that she'd with him and would've let him do anything he wanted, but he also could see that she wasn't ready yet and so they kissed and kissed until they finally fell asleep. He kissed her forehead and shook her gently. "Anna. Wake up. Wake up now..."

 

Not quite waking up, Anna smiled, eyes still closed, turning into his warmth and cuddling closer. This was such a good dream.

 

He didn't realize how wonderful it felt to be happy until this very moment and he truly wanted this moment to last forever but even such perfect moments do pass into memory. So he decided to wake her in the best way he knew. He managed to bend his head down and kiss her lips gently hoping to rouse her.

 

"Mmm...." Anna purred and stretched, her arm hitting Will in the head. Her eyes flew open and she looked up at him, bemused, still not quite awake. "Will!" Memories of the night before came flooding back and she felt herself blushing, suddenly feeling intensely awkward. "Morning? I mean, good morning..."

 

Will chuckled, "You're always cute when you blush." He got up and offered his hand to help her, "Join me for breakfast?"

 

It was some small comfort that his clothes were easily as wrinkled as hers, but of course he wasn't going to have to go up one deck and over two corridors to fix that. She took his hand and with a smile, answered with just a little tongue in cheek, "I've been waiting to have you cook me breakfast."

 

Will nodded. "Well my Mother gave me a great eggs benedict recipe...I think we had three or four days ago..." They talked and ate together and Will found that he felt much better than he had yesterday. Yes the darkness and sadness were still there when he thought of Tabor but for now the despair had been driven away by the beautiful beacon of love that sat across from him. Eventually, they got up and he walked her to the door. Before she had a chance to leave though, he turned her around and hugged her warmly. "Thank you for staying with me." And then his face grew serious, "I love you Anna. Never doubt that. And never doubt that if, God forbid, you were missing, always know in your heart that I will ALWAYS come for you. Nothing in this universe will stand in my way to see that you are safe." He smiled warmly as she left his quarters.

 

It was in something of a daze that Anna made her way back to her quarters, nodding to a few Gamma shift souls on their way to whatever Gamma shift did this late in their day. He loved her! This is what it felt like to love and be loved in return. She felt utterly protected and in turn, fiercely protective of him. Entering her quarters, she was immediately assaulted by the sounds of angry bird that hadn't been put to bed properly. She smiled at Chauncey who looked like he wanted to kill something by the way he was squawking and rapping the bars of his cage with a bill that could bite through boiler plate. "I love him, Chaunce."