Anger

[Xandra 0]

Putting herself into a situation where she didn't know every possible outcome was not in Xandra's habits, not before joing the QoB's crew anyways . The last few months had been at best predictable. As much as life on a rogue Klingon vessel could be , but the latest development in the Goldrock mission had taken her completely by surprise. And surprises were not amongst the doctor's favorite things.

 

 

Since boarding the new Klingon ship on which she was expected to serve, Xandra kept playing back in her head the scene outside the mines. Trying to figure out once more which side Sargh was on. She knew he would pick Klingons over humans on any given day , but something in the way he talked and acted made her doubt that he was part of the traitor faction that betrayed the Commander and the rest of the crew. That doubt was the only thing that made her accept the captain's offer to join his crew instead of trying to flee or hopelessly fight.

 

 

She hated the fact that she couldn't get the image of Mench on the ground slowly bleeding to his inevitable death. No matter how selfish she was , her professional instincts told her to help the man, while her survival instincts told her to leave him there and take care of herself. But what was really annoying her was not some guilt over her failure to uphold her Hippocratic oath. The fact that Mench was left to die on that bare rock should not have been affecting her so much. But it did . Xandra was angry .

 

 

Angry at the Klingons for screwing up their plans, their mission, their crew. Angry at Sargh for standing by and acting so weirdly . Angry at Smokey for giving up on Mench so easily and accepting his fate as a new "member" of MoQtal 's crew. Even thought both their reactions were expected from a Klingon and a abandoned child that grew up staying alive due to his self- preservation instinct. And most of all , she was angry at herself for caring .

 

 

The Commander should have been nothing more to her than one more man . Sure she coveted him , but the fact that he was left to die should not have annoyed her for any other reason than that she never got to pin him down in her collection ....the butterfly that got away , simple anoyance . No matter how much Xandra lied to herself she knew it was more than that.

 

 

A bitter laugh escaped the doctor's lips when she realized that she was reacting just like the Klingons she despised so much; filled with need for vengeance. But she knew that vengeance would have to wait . Contrary to the Klingons , she was not ready to die for it . She would sit tight, observe , wait for the events to unfold , wait for the right moment to to make them pay. … And get the hell out of there .