The Shadow of the Past

[Cptn Corizon 0]

Lexin sat across the table, looking strangely at the Dameon. In all the time he'd known the Captain, he rarely seemed to unsure of himself. Uncertainty seemed to be contagious these days. Vorta were rarely uncertain, and apprehension was an emotion that Lexin had never felt in any of his prior lifetimes, at least not to the degree he currently felt.

 

Breaking the silence of the dinner cum starring session, Lexin placed his utensil down on table and looked towards the yellow-eyed Captain. “Forgive me, Captain, but you seem rather... well if I didn't know better, uncertain about something. If I may, it's most unsettling.”

 

Corizon glanced up. Had he been so caught up in everything that he'd been broadcasting his concerns so easily that Vorta had picked it up without even so much as scanning him? Forcing a smile he sighed slightly. “You could say that, yes.”

 

“If you don't mind my asking, what has you unsettled?”

 

“Oh, nothing, really.” He lied.

 

Lexin glanced at the Captain with an all too typical Vorta glance that said he knew more than he was letting in on. “Really Captain, we've been having these dinners every week for almost ten months and I can't recall a time when you so openly seemed to be unsure of yourself, clearly it's not the day to day grind.”

 

“If you people ever get tired of conquering innocent people and decide to join the Federation, I'll make sure to pick one of you up as a counselor, the Betazoids are cons compared to you.”

 

Tipping his head slightly and batting his amethyst eyes for a moment, Lexin finally smiled. The Dameon's sense of humor still took a few moments to parse. “I'll take that as a compliment, coming from a psychologist.”

 

Sensing an opportunity to steer the conversation away from anything but himself Corizon nodded. “You seem a bit unsure yourself,” he said. “Have you spoke with the Council yet?”

 

“Yes,” Lexin said heavily. “I haven't told them everything... or anything really, yet.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

The Vorta tilted his head and glanced towards the Dameon for a long moment. Was it that he was actually interested in hearing what was troubling him, or was there an ulterior motive? Vorta were genetically predisposed to paranoia, he reminded himself, but when it came to the silver-haired canine, he'd learned it to be a rather helpful trait.

 

“Tell me, Captain,” he said. “Did it bother you being assigned to this mission, saving the very empire that was the instrument for so much suffering in your Quadrant?”

 

Corizon stifled a sigh. “To be honest? Yes.”

 

Lexin's eyes widened slightly before he nodded, he hadn't expected him to be so... blunt. “That is to be expected, I suppose.”

 

“It gnaws at me,” Corizon continued, looking into the glass he'd raised. “Your people, you came and you destroyed so much, took so many lives, all because of baseless paranoia.”

 

Lexin nodded, letting the Captain continue. This was most the Dameon had ever really said about the subject, and it was clear he was in the mood to talk.

 

“And what you did to me...”

 

A sudden, inescapable feeling overcame the Vorta. Was that what some called, fear? Possibly. He suppressed it. “Ahm,” he said. “Me, personally?”

 

Corizon put the glass down and looked at him for a moment. “No, but your people.”

 

“I was captured during the war,” he said. “Tortured, subjected to experimentation to gain the knowledge that I held that eluded the Cardassians. Hooked up to one of those damned machines your people gave them...”

 

The Vorta nodded. His people had never had what one would consider a conscience about their methods of gaining information, so long as it yielded results. “I would apologize, Captain...”

 

“But you know I won't think it's anything more than an empty gesture?”

 

Quietly, “yes.”

 

“It's hard for someone like me,” Corizon said, “to forget all those things happened, to set them aside and try and help perpetuate the very thing that caused so much pain, terror and agony to the things I loved and to myself.”

 

“I have to admit, there are few qualities I truly admire in your Federation,” Lexin said, his own eyes slightly vacant in thought. “Your capacity for forgiveness and compassion for the fallen foe is truly amazing. Perhaps... if the Founder's had that...”

 

Corizon lifted an ear. Did Lexin just? He did.