The Power of a Memory

[JJLexi 0]

The viewport offered little solace to JJ as he stared out into the blackness. He didn't sleep much, at least not as much since he left Brythtia. Being away from his people was a very empty feeling. The Song, he was learning, was something that many Brythtons take for granted. Sure, it was worshipped and respected, but he had quickly realized how much a part of his life it really was once he was separated from it. He had made do with the low hum of non-Brythtons, but he still missed the resounding harmonies provided by the Brythtons themselves. It was an adjustment period that he wasn't sure he'd ever get used to. The observation deck was empty, save for him. He had been standing there ever since he had eaten supper, thinking and meditating. Not hardly two days ago, he had been staring certain death in the face in the form of Romulan disruptors. Now, he stood back on board the Reaent, which was now under the protection of a Starfleet Task Force, hurtling through space towards the Federation/Romulan border. He had spent the past few days looking at the faces of his fellow crew-members, wondering how they were dealing with the brash reminder of their mortality. Today, it was his turn.

 

He closed his eyes, suddenly taken back to his last day spent in the Sovereignty, it was the day of his de-harmonization ceremony, the ritual all Brythtons went through if they were assigned to a solo duty. The look in his father's eyes was etched into his memory.

 

"You look as if you believe this is the last you will ever see of me, father."

 

"There is always that possibility, my son. As a soldier, I acknowledge that." his father replied. "You must come to that realization as well. The path to Heaven will be closed to you out there, by yourself. You must accept the fact that you may never see those you love ever again, in this life or the next."

 

Today, he was coming to that realization. But he refused to accept it. Not now, not today.

 

"The god of the death is a coward" he thought to himself. "one who preys on the weak, the ill, and the elderly. He wouldn't dare approach me. Even if, I would stare him straight and the eyes until he cowered away in fear and shame. 'Find a soul less worthy!' I would tell him! 'For mine is too strong to succumb to your cravenly ways!'"

 

Yet despite his brazen decrees and his prideful defiance. The words still echoed. . .

 

You must accept the fact that you may never see those you love ever again, in this life or the next. . .

 

Never. . .

 

Never was such a powerful word. There were few words that carried as much finality.

 

 

Never. . .in this life or the next. . .

 

It was a haunting thought, one he couldn't bring himself to imagine. For if he were to die out here away from the protection of the Song, his soul would be lost. Any chance of being reunited with his family would be washed away in an instant, leaving him to be nothing but a passing memory to be forgotten with the passage of time.

 

 

Memory. . .

 

A thousand memories of his family began to dance through his mind, as clear as the night sky. His father, his mother, his brother, his sister. Their faces, as well as hundreds of others he knew from back home, appeared as real to him as if they were standing right in front him. All these faces, these -people-, he was a matter of seconds away of being torn away from them forever. He felt himself collapse to his knees, overcome with a wave of emotion, yet the memories kept coming, each of them more powerful and more vivid than the next. Each one seemingly taunting him, reminding him of how far from home he was, and how vulnerable his soul remained. He how close he really was to never seeing any of them again.

 

Never. . .in this life or the next. . .

 

 

His breathing became harder, and he could feel his muscles tense up and sweat begin to form. He gritted his teeth and clinched is fists until, mercifully, the memories stopped.

 

 

"You must accept the fact that you may never see those you love ever again, in this life or the next."

 

His father's voice echoed in his head as he finally opened his eyes. He was out of breath, sweat covered the back of his next and his brow. As he came to, he realized had fallen into a full crouch on his hands and knees. He brought himself to his knees, and looked up at the time display which hung over the viewport. It read 0400. Two hours. . .He had spent the past two hours like this. He ran his fingers through his corded hair, and began to wipe the sweat from his brow.

 

"Oh goddess of the night" he murmured "Why have you been unkind?"

 

He brought himself to he feet, the pang of exhaustion creeping up on him. He had 4 hours until his shift started. Slowly, he made his way out of the observation deck and down to his quarters. He laid himself down on the bed, trying desperately to forget what he had just gone through. He refused to close his eyes, fearing another episode. After a few minutes, however, he finally allowed himself to succumb to his exhaustion. His eyes drifted shut, and his consciousness started to fade into the blackness of sleep.

 

Never. . .