“University of Criminology: Pirate 101”

[LeftEar JoNs 0]

03.13.09

SS Excalibur NCC-2004 C

“University of Criminology: Pirate 101”

 

Written By: Pirate Rue and Pirate Left Ear/Kansas

 

Rue was usually found in the newly acquired ship's sickbay, exploring each corner, cabinet and alcove for hidden treasure. This time she's delving into the pharmacological stocks with glee. “Look! A proper chemists! Do you know how much coin we can get for this on the black market? Too bad I might have to use it on your lot. I wonder how much the Cap’n will let me keep?”

 

The entry way to the medical bay whooshed open, admitting the brown furred Caitian First Mate and her young Midshipman grade cousin; the younger one was being led by the upper arm and did not look happy to be there at all.

 

"Oooh, look at this." Picking up a bottle, reading the label. "Fantastic. I haven't been in a properly stocked 'bay in ages." Rue shifted bottles and boxes around, mentally inventorying both the contents and the value of the medicine stores. So distracted in her glee that she missed the doors of the bay whooshing open.

 

The dour panther-like feline cracked a slight smile when she caught sight of the obviously involved and snooping medical officer that serviced the pirate crew of the SS Excalibur. She kept her paw clamped firmly around the golden furred teenagers arm while she called out a greeting to Rue. "Rue! You seem to be having fun with your new toys and supplies?"

 

Rue slowly twisted her head in their direction, a huge lopsided smile on her face. "It’s like Christmas, mate. And Santy's brought me the mother lode." She took another look, another fast calculation, and then shut the stores away. "What brings you lot down here?"

 

Left Ear JoNs pointed a big and powerful paw at her skinnier cousin, who resembled a lion from the Earth African plains. "She does. Needs to be checked over per standard crew physicals. Orders. Make sure we don't have any sicknesses or parasites spreading among the crew. Some of this bunch can fall by the wayside with the hygiene if you get my drift."

 

The youngster was shorter at five foot three inches when compared to the older Cait's five foot five inches. She was skinny without being malnourished and hadn't yet had an adult weight growth; she was all knees, elbows and big sloppy paws, but her compact frame held the bravado and attitude typical of a rebellious teen.

 

"Oi! Tell me about it." She pinched her nose, still grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Come this way then. Let me try out me new toys." Rue patted a biobed as she passed it. "Up here, Kansas, luv. Won't take but two ticks."

 

The younger Caitian blanched. "Whoa! Ticks? Wait a freakin' minute...as a doc you should know that ticks is bad for any kinda felinoid species ..."

 

Left Ear merely growled softly at the young one’s disrespectful tone and choice of words.

 

"No luv. Just a figure of speech. Means I'll be done in two ticks of the clock. Two seconds?" She patted the younger Cait on the shoulder. She opened the tricorder, again marveling on updated and expensive equipment before attempting to use it on Kansas.

 

The sixteen year old tentatively clambered up on the bio bed to sit as she had been instructed while the ships executive officer, who was in her mid thirties, moved off to a discreet distance to lean against a nearby bulkhead and observed the proceedings.

 

"So, Kansas, how you be feelin' of late?" Rue took the scan. She didn't mind the audience of the Cap'n's first officer. She'd learned long time ago not to argue with their intrusions, least she be accused of hiding something.

 

When Kansas wasn't looking, she glanced back at Left Ear, who had a more personal attachment to this crewman than the others to see if she could catch a sign or two. The panther merely gave Rue a quick head nod in reply; the medico was one of the crew that the XO trusted, especially with the Kitten.

 

As for Kansas, the Cait gave an honest, if not blunt answer. "Well, I was fine until I got hijacked to come here." Then, a curious ear flipped back. "You have a bitchin' accent going on there Doc."

 

Left Ear merely did a palm to forehead motion at the language.

 

"Oi, you think so, luv?" She glanced at the analysis, and then shrugged at the display.

 

"Well, yeah, whatever. I know there's a lot of different crew here."

 

"Aye, that we do." Rue prepared a hypo spray of antibiotics. "All sorts. Some with fangs, some with skin, some with little wee spots. Diverse creatures with a lot of diverse skills won't you say?"

 

“Some of ‘em couldn’t find their arse if it fell off though, ya know?”

 

Left Ear called out a warning "Kansas .... " from her out of the way vantage point.

 

"But Left Ear! I was guarding that corridor that the officer from engineering was working in and the dude almost electrocuted himself! I swear to the gods, he's a few thrusters short of warp seven!"

 

"Apologies Doctor; the Midshipman still hasn't grasped the pirate code concept of keeping her mouth shut." The brown furred elder Cait winged a look at her young charge and middy officer.

 

"Aye, so I've heard." She used two fingers to spread the fur of the younger Cait's fur, and then depressed the hypo spray. "She best be careful. Or she'll land herself and the rest of these scalawags in a world of hurt."

 

The golden furred feline’s ears flew back in annoyance at the non direct statements directed specifically at her coming from the elder pirate officers. "It can hear you know."

 

The ships first mate picked up on the change in accent and change to the tone of the chief medico’s voice, and her brown ears swiveled to a full forward attention while a little amused smirk danced about her muzzle. Go for it Doctor ...

 

"Look, thank you Doctor Rue for the checkup and such, but I got better things to do on this boat. I know exactly what 'm doin'." The leonine youngster hopped down confidently from the bio bed, careful with her agility to not nudge the Excals medical officer.

 

"Yes, but are you really listening?" Rue's rougher accent disappeared abruptly, her tone now taking on the lilt of the perceived pronunciation of a proper English lady.

 

Kansas, meanwhile, looked at Rue with a classic head cocked to once side gesture. "You been sniffing the medicinal alcohol Doctor? Endurance test? I'm a feline species. We're fast and can take care of ourselves. Hello?”

 

"Then ye'll like this one." She started to lead the way out of sickbay. "Come, come. I've got a new toy to show you." She was practically skipping with glee. She led them down and around twisting corridors eventually to the holodeck door. "Oh, I've got plans for ye. Simply delicious. Our own playground without paying a bloomin' credit."

 

Left Ear fell in behind the little procession, giving 'tude-tastic Kansas various little nudges with her paw to keep her young cousin moving along behind the ships chief doctor.

 

Rue pressed a few buttons on the panel. "You'd never imagine the smut I found on this thing when we arrived." She shook her head. "Such a waste. Anyway. Here we go. Luvly little obstacle course to test ye reflexes. You been keepin' up on your studies, Kansas?" She's jumping topics, of course, to keep her off guard mostly.

 

"Smut? Oh, now there's a party .... ack!"

 

The brown furred Ex Oh connected a paw in a swift swat to the golden furred midshipman’s trouser seat. "Don't even think of commenting on that. And no doctor she has not; there's an informational memo from the security chief that she hasn't even looked at yet."

 

And off guard Kansas was, both from the topic switching from Rue and the general abuse from Ms. Twitchy Paw Left Ear.

 

"That's not.........good." There was another mental check mark made. Another imperative reason why the Doctor was concerned about the younger girls attitude, considering it could potentionally put them all in danger. And Rue worked too hard to maintain her freedom and off-the-grid status to have some upstart mess with her future.

 

"Come on, in. In you go." She escorted them into the room. The room filled with an obstacle course of balance beams, tight wires, spinning devilish looking whirlishs, heavy balls hanging from the ceiling....in other words a regular gauntlet of items.

 

The kitten’s ears swiveled this way and that as she visually took in the obstacle course and her tail dropped to the decking with a noticeable 'whump'. Completely honest, she turned to her guardian and said, "I don't care if you whack me again; seriously, did we step into the twilight smut dungeon or somethin'?" To Rue, she turned and said, "Are you sure you erased all of those programs?"

 

"Oh, come on," Rue hopped up on the nearest balance beam, walking across it as if she's walking across the floor. She paused on one foot, raised the other in the air, arms outstretched for a balance. "Don't tell me you're chicken about a silly Balance test." She turned on the ball of one foot. "Bwack, bwaaaaaack bwack bwack." She teased.

 

Kansas puffed out, literally; her tail and neck fur flared in response to the heckling by the medical female. "I'm not afraid of anything..." The youngster chose another beam nearby the one that Rue perched on and promptly hopped up on it with a grace that belied her outward gawky-ness.

 

Left Ear chose a discreet spot to stand out of the way of the various holographic equipment and leaned against a ‘wall’. She settled in to watch and said to the Doctor, "Rue, whatever you need to do, go for it," by way of giving permission to the medical officer to handle her errant cousin in whatever way she saw fit.

 

Rue did a few more stretches on the beam, making her look far more acrobatic than her age led one to believe. "Then get a move on, Kitten." She did a pirouette, then advanced course further up. "Hope you studied your Physics of Pirating on this course though." She winked at Kansas.

 

With a determined huff, the young Cait leaped upward onto another section of the course, paralleling Rue.

 

"One, objects at rest, stay at rest....but objects in motion...." she kicked one of the hanging balls in Kansas's direction.

 

"Whoa! Son of a bi - ..." The Excal middy dove for another platform on the course to get out of the way of the incoming ball.

 

"Stay in motion." Rue dodged the swinging ball as it came back in her direction by sliding down into a split on the balance beam, the ball swinging harmlessly above her head. "Nice reaction there, Kitten. But the energy you used to dive....why?"

 

Said Kitten stayed on all fours up on the flat platform that seemingly hung in mid air and regarded Rue over the edge of it. "Diving seemed like a good idea? I had somethin' comin' at me!"

 

"Aye, but ye exerted more forced than ye needed. Whot then?"

 

Kansas spared a glance at her Elder Guardian, who was, like, no help at all, and then turned her attention back to the CMO. "I have no idea; it was the smart thing to get outta the way. And, wait and see what happens next."

 

"Aye, good reasoning. Yet sometimes subtly is sometimes a wee bit better solution. Save ye energy and overreaction. And ye also need to keep a keen eye on ye opponent." Rue slid up gracefully to a standing position. "You should have seen that comin' a mile away in here." She motioned to the room and the gauntlet gadgets. There was a slight glance down to Left Ear, where she winked at the XO when Kansas wasn't looking.

 

The younger JoNs eyed and then leapt for a double beam located to the right of the platform she currently resided on; she flew though the air in an arc that indicated the grace with which she would move when she hit finally her adult years.

 

Rue launched another ball, knowing this time the young one was more aware of her surroundings.

 

Kansas stayed where she was and adjusted her position on the beams to avoid the ball as it whizzed by.

 

“Better." Rue's tone of voice made it clear that the lesson wasn't over with. "Keep going, little one. Balance boards are next level up." Rue followed on the opposite side.

 

An inquisitive ear cocked towards Rue, "You move pretty fast for an old lady let alone a human!", then she paused, "...that came out wrong. That sounded way better in my head..." she scurried quickly onto the next level of the upward course.

 

"That's a complement, luv. They used to say there's no such thing as an old pirate. I am to prove them wrong." Rue climbed to the next level. Of course, in her thoughts the sentence ended with If I can get you in line with the rest of us before you get us all killed. The doctor stood in a relaxed stance on a wobbly bridge. "So, second rule. Are you ready?"

 

The leonine kitten nodded once at the human doctor.

 

"Second law. Each action has an equal and opposite reaction. Can ye put that into pirating terms?" She took a few careful steps across the bridge.

 

JoNs braced herself on the opposite side of the bridge and watched Rue carefully pick her way out onto the wobbly plank and rope bridge. “Uh … if we don’t do our jobs, we don’t get loot?”

 

"That's one way to look at it. But what if, just if, we do our job...but, we decide...eh...we don't like our cut. Then what? We take a little......extra."

 

Kansas cocked her head to once side to indicate that she was listening to the medico.

 

"What then? What type of reaction would you expect from that action?" She picked her way to the top of the bridge to the next platform.

 

The elder JoNs remained leaning against the "wall" of the program and followed the progress of the two of them as they went higher and higher on the holographic obstacle course.

 

The Kitten had grown up in a family mercenary environment, were all for one was one for all and any money and loot was shared equally and for the betterment of the family clan ship; out here, within the pirating community, it wasn't that cut and dry all the time.

 

"Well ... I'd have to make sure that I had some good backup if I took from another pirate, and it'd be even better if the person I took from didn't know about it at all. I'd say they go looking to even the score?"

 

"And if it was taken from you?"

 

“I'd be pissed off and not like it at all." Her tail lashed through the air as she kept pace with Rue on the course from the other side.

 

Rue lifted herself up onto a high wire. "So retribution would be the reaction, yes?"

 

"Aye."

 

"So, let's talk about another situation." She grabbed a balance pole, positioned her feet on the tightrope spanning the course and started a slow cross rope. "Whot iffffff....ye were told to stay on script and yet ye improvised. Whot could be the consequences?"

 

"That's easy. If it was an order, and you don't follow, you're punished?" Her inquisitive green eyes looked furtively from side to side; she had already showed some signs of this habit.

 

"Certainly. But whot if the mission went well overall, ye still strayed from the script, no harm done, yeah?"

 

"Aye! Like, it'd be really bad if I went rogue or somethin' during a mission and joined the other side."

 

There's improvisation, and then there's bravado, Kitten. Those that improvise do consider the action and the reaction. Those who are trying to prove they're hot stuff.....well...they tip the balance of the whole operation into the enemies hand. I've seen one seemingly insignificant action get people killed."

 

Though it was true that the young JoNs was brimming with the right kind of pirate potential, she also showed how young she truly was by puffing out her chest and her next statement to Rue. "I'm pretty good at what I do."

 

"I didn't say that you weren't, young one." Rue took another couple of steps onto the wire. "Whot I said was that each and every action has a reaction. Positive and negative. And if ye wish to be an old pirate, then ye need to think carefully about what you do."

 

Left Ear smiled widely at the chief medical officer, showing her sharp fangs, from down below. She agreed wholeheartedly with the lesson.

 

The younger feline, meanwhile, plopped down onto her rear end, sitting crosslegged on the surface of the secondary upper platform that she had ended up on and was completely quiet as she really thought about what Rue just told her.

 

" ... and I won't make it there if I keep doing what I'm doing? Left Ear... uh, I mean, the Commander keeps telling me I need to get my head in the pirate officer game."

 

"Listen little one. She's not telling you this because mad at you." Rue paused. "Okay, so maybe in the heat of the moment she is. But it's because if ye don't, you jeapordize not just her safety, but all of us here. Every bloody arse here." She put the bar down, then slid to a sitting position on the wire. "Ye'll got potential luv. Just don't let it go to ye head."

 

The true personality of the young Cait - yes, she would always be a somewhat headstrong, sometimes sarcastic, and hell bent for adventure individual, but basically had a good heart - came through then, not the swaggering bravado that she had put on since joining the pirate crew of Corizon. "Okay, I won't, and I'll be more careful. Thanks Doc!"

 

"Okay, get out of here, ye scalawag. Lesson done for today." Rue jerked her head towards the door. "Mind the gap on your way down, I turned off the safeties in here." The Doctor lied, then glanced down at Left Ear to see what her reaction was.

 

Kansas barked out an enthusiastic "COOL!" and looked down towards the decking that was a long way down, while Left Ear looked like, well, she was about to have kittens from her vantage point all the way at the bottom of the course.

 

Rue winked at Left Ear, then swung down like a monkey, in an effort to beat the younger Cait to the floor below.

 

The panther Cait regained her composure and merely offered a wink back as well as a silently mouthed "Thank you" in deference to the ships medical officer.