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B'Etor Patterson

Understanding The Next Step

B'Etor leaned against the door of the sickbay's inpatient room. She stared at the empty beds and let out a deep sigh. She looked like she was staring at something important, but she was actually staring into space, distracted, her mind abandonded by any normal thoughts of her job. She had nothing in her mind, no thoughts, yet her mind was going a million miles a minute. A lot had happened in the past few weeks.


Badonk-thunk………..badonk-thunk………badonk-thunk. An odd noise from inside one of the walls can be heard across the intake room.


B'Etor heard the noise and that caused her distraction to be blinked out of existance. She moved towards the noise, fist formed, prepared to attack anything that may come out at her. If this were a prank, someone was about to get punked. She sniffed, unable to smell anything through the door and she rang the chime. If something didn't come out, she would assume the worst, if something did come out that did not resemble her CMO, someone would get slammed.


"Yeah, c'mon in mate." Badonk-thunk....badonk-thunk.


The door opened and B'Etor looked in, for whatever was causing that sound, her breathing hard, her andrealine levels had risen, her body preparing for a fight. Her black eyes darting around the room before falling on the CMO and whatever noise that was.


Rue rolled her head slowly and lazily towards, the door, the wee blue racketball in her one hand, poised for another throw. Little blue marks dotted the wall. In her other, the PADD she was proofreading. She grinned as she saw B'Etor standing there. "Hi there." She raised a brow, glancing at B'Etor's defensive posture. "Whot's got your nickers in a twist, mate?"


She saw the ball, the marks, and realized the sounds she heard were not someones skull slamming into the wall, not Doug trying to get out of a hole and falling repeatedly. It was nothing but a damn ball against a damn wall. She calmed down quickly and shrugged. "Loud sudden noises, they make me assume the worst. I wasn't sure what it was, so I prepared to attack whatever may be attacking you, or the internal bulkhead." She felt so stupid now. The CMO must think she is insane. Then again, after the past two months, B'Etor had a reason to be distracted and jumpy.


Rue sat up, tossing the ball into a drawer of her desk and putting the PADD on the table. "I heard everyone went a little buggy on you earlier...." she let the sentence drift off in order to give B'Etor an opening to talk.


She rolled her eyes. "You have no idea how much I wanted to snap laurel's neck, then snap Doug's neck. I don't..do well in confined spaces. Nevermind confined spaces with drunk Human's who find another male human to be sexy, or a Vulcan that thinks it would be funny to remove a large blade from someone's chest, or another human who cowered in the corner the entire time, until he finally lost it and tried to get out by climbing a flat wall." She swallowed again, thinking of the pit they were trapped in. One week later and she was still bugged by what happened. She also still kept the secret of the Garrison. It was a secret she kept for him because she knew he would keep the same secret for her. "Sorry I bothered you...."


"No, no, it's okay mate." She motioned to the chair in front of her as she herself stood and leaned against the corner of her own desk. It was a way of removing a barrier between herself and her crewmate. Hoped it would work anyway. "Some times it helps just to get it off your chest. Proud of you for not loosing it yourself, 'cause I think I might have started climbing the walls me-self." She grinned.


She paused and then realized it would be best to sit down. She didn't want to be banned from duty again. She didn't want to have to talk to the Counselor again. She just wanted to work. She looked down at her lap and slumped in the chair a little. "I did.. But not because I was insane. I made it halfway, then.. I lost my grip. Too smooth. She sighed deeply, shaking her head. "I wanted so bad to go on an Away mission. It was my first real mission... and I hated it. For a little while I hated the people I was with. I was starving, and tired, and dirty, and they wouldn't stop.. I wanted to kill them all..." She started to babble about all of the feelings she had. Wrong move? Perhaps.


"Eh, not all away missions are sugar plums and lollypops." Rue shrugged. "Wait'll you're assigned a diplomatic one, mate. Then you'll really want to tear your hair out." She beamed. "You want something from the replicator?" She motioned to the machine behind her.


She shook her head. "Thanks, but I am all set." She sighed deeply again. "So it wasn't wrong to have wanted to snap my co-workers necks? I feel ashamed... Yet, I don't." She thought of Mark, and his injury. "In Klingon culture, if a co-worker, or friend is injured, you do not save them. You either help them fight, or they die. I never thought of killing Lt. Garrison, but I almost left him for dead." She leaned her head back, staring at the ceiling.


"It'd have been wrong if you had acted on those thoughts....but I wouldn't have necessary blamed you if what I heard was true." She chuckled a bit, then glanced down at her boots as she spoke. "You're gonna find that sometimes, what you do as a 'Fleet officer might contridict what you might have done culturally. Ethics, morals, or actions. Even your oaths as a doctor can reek havoc against what you need to do in a mission. It takes time to....well.......resolve those issues, you know?"


She nodded and looked up at Rue. "I understand most of it, but.. Mark said something to me.. after we got back and I working on his wound. We were in the sickbay, on the surgical bed, and he said something, then apologized for it. Maybe it was because I was busy, and only half listening, but I know it was about my pregnancy." She tilted her head, truly not getting it. "Why.. if I am over it, do people walk on eggshells about my pregnancy?"


Rue chewed her lip for a moment before responding. "Well, could be for a couple of reasons. One, perhaps they don't know your feelings on the subject. Or two, they just want to let you know they care." She scratched the back of her head. "Each being handles that sort of loss in different ways. So, you're going to encounter different reactions to your previous condition."


She looked even more confused, but on her face, it made her look more angry. She pondered the comment, then looked at the replicator. "But..Mark and I had never spoken before. He worked with the babies father, but for only a few weeks before he...." She didn't really know what to say when it came to Jaden's disappearance. He didn't disappear, but he was gone. She left it to hang. "I understand Maria, and you, and Alex, and Joe, and Marius, even the Captain's side, but after a month, and after he even knew me? I don't get it."


"Don't get what? That people outside your immediate area know and care about you?" Rue flashed a lopsided grin, knowing she's putting a thought in B'Etor's head she's not thought about before.


If she could furrow her brow, she would, but the exoskeletal ridges prevented that. She pursed her lips and almost looked like she was in pain, from thinking too hard. "You mean.. even though they don't know me, they still care? Why?" She never understood human emotions. She grew up around Humans, but never fully understood why they do what they do.


"Luv, when you get to be around these ships long enough you'll see....aquaintences become friends and friends become family." She scooted back enough to sit properly on her desk. "We have to work, live, play, sleep, eat, pray, excerise, rest together. Loads of what-they-call-it...oh yeah. Teamwork. And when a team members is down, the rest of the group wants to pick 'em up so they group can start movin' again."


She nodded and bit her lip. "So.. if they care about me.. I need to care about them?" Well that was a stupid question. If they ended up in the sickbay, she would care. That was her job. "So..the way I care about what happened to Julie, and Maria, people I don't even know can feel the same about me?"


"Aye. You okay with that?"


She pondered the idea again and nodded slowly. "It is like when I was on my father's ship.. People cared about me because I was the Captain's daughter, and they worried about me... So.. it is the same thing, but without my father here." She nodded in understanding.


"Yeah, something like that." She shifted on her deskseat. "Just remember that common curtosy when someone expresses concern for your wellfare is not to rip their heads from their bodies." She teased a bit, her lips curling into a mischievious grin.


She stood up and sighed again. "How do you react to them, if you like them?" She wasn't subtle.


"Say thank you and smile." She leaned back, swinging her legs. "And if you don't, say thank you and nod. But don't look constipated when you do it, either way."


She smirked a little and nodded. "I look constipated a lot." She knew she did, but she knew wasn't exactly adapting the way everyone else did on the ship. She was the most different, with the most confusion.


"Aye, pretty soon they'll be asking if ye get enough fiber in your diet." She teased.


She nodded and smiled more. "Thanks.. for the talk and all. I know I am hard to work with. I am brash, rude, and forward. But thank you for helping me..."


"Oh, I've had tougher nuts to crack." She grinned. "B'Etor, you're doing a good job. Really. I'd love to send you an another away mission, when you feel you're ready. Just...relax."


"As long as it not a jungle, or dirty, or has lizard people, I will be fine. I actually kinda..bonded with a few of the people on the mission. Mark and I got along quite well, after he wasn't loony." She smiled. "Thanks for everything. Other than my father, I haven't talked with someone as... understanding... about how I am.. Thank you."


"No problem. Anytime. And I do mean, any time." She nodded again.


She nodded and paused ackwardly for a moment, then motioned to the door. "I am going to.. umm.. do something..yeah.." She nodded to Rue, then walked out the door.


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