Just When You Think You've Seen It All...

[Rue Wydown 0]

I've seen bumps, bruises, broken bones, contusions. I witnessed the consequences of drunken brawls, transporter accidents, holodeck escapades gone haywire. Dislocations, punctures, lacerations, amputations. A bug in the ear. Head injuries. Brain slugs. Broken backs. Skin tags. Severe ache.

I've dealt with compound fractures, splinters, phaser blasts, ingrown toe nails. Pandemics. Poisonings. Bolts in the head. Excessive facial hair. Excessive body order caused by rate Aritian bacterial fungus between poorly cared for toes.

Let's now add a green baby to the list. Asthma attacks. Allergic reactions. Allergic reactions that cause discolorations to the third mid-thorax of a Repturian gladiator. Disembowelment. Snot rockets. Viral infections. Excessive ear wax. War wounds. Severe acute respiratory syndrome. Disease. Male patterned baldness.

Operated on a Vulcan, green blood and all. Dealt with clones, imposters, Founders and charlatans. Radiation exposure. Space sickness. Exposure to the vacuum of space. Bovine madness. Guys who think they have special super-elite ninja skillz.

A Cait shredded to bits. A Klingon/Romulan coworker with anger management issues. Toxic waste. Rapid aging. Deceleration of cellular growth. PMS. Sleep depravation. Starvation. Dehydration.

You see, I can never claim to have seen it all because every day brings a new medical condition, a new disease a new injury. That's why I enjoy my job, because every day, every hour brings variety. A new problem to solve. Of course that doesn't stop me from thinking that the universe has gone a bit daft. I was flummoxed when Commander Teykier burst into sickbay with a spider attached to her, yelping:

"Get it off and fix it and then fix me now."

 

Now I can add performed surgery on a tarantula to my resume.

 

Blimey, I love my job.

Edited March 1, 2009 by Rue Wydown