Over flow

[Travis Kroells 0]

“Over flow”…Kroells’s logs  (35th log)

 

Contentment.  That’s the only word Travis could use to describe how he felt.  Floating here in the dark recess’s of his mind, unconscious due to the actions of a one Brian Smith.  He just floated there content not to move, to think, to see the light of the real world any more.  Then slowly he heard the voices, of Brian and the rest of sickbay.  For a moment Travis was worried that he might wake up, but that proved to be the opposite.  It was like here from under water.  Travis could make out the words, but they were blurry and seemed distant to him.

 

And then he heard something he definitely didn’t expect.  His own voice, “Don’t make me do this Ridire…I don’t want to go…”  Travis franticly looked around, for what could be doing this, but it did not help.  For before the heard the words he had no connection with the light.  Now all he heard was himself babbling about useless information, things he had thought about and pushed below…

 

That was it!  What caused it; he had thought these things before. Why Ridire gave him the away mission for starters.  And now unconscious like this, in his own dark hide away he couldn’t control his thoughts, and they were betraying him.  He couldn’t do any thing, not in this position any way, and besides even if he truly wanted to wake up, he couldn’t.  Not with Brian’s sedative running through him.  

 

His mind is only true place of privacy, he could think what he wanted, with out the worry of any one questioning his ideas, thoughts, and dreams.  But now that was all falling apart, his body, under no control of his own was spouting of every thing he had thought, said in his mind, from sarcastic remarks of orders to what he truly thought of every one on the ship.  And eventually it would come upon the one thought that would ruin him…

 

“Your fault Ridire....I hate you....you made me leave…”  Travis’s thoughts fell silent.  The one thing that had to have been stopped had just been said.  Travis didn’t care any more.  The damage had been done and eventually they’d find out what he said.  Just a matter of time.  And so figuring it might be the last time in a long time that he could sit and be free, he let him self be absorbed by the darkness again, no sound, no sight, no thought…

 

(err actually scratch that...after recent digging this log is actually my 40th, but eh it's not that important)