Emotions in a Bottle

[Alexander Zier 0]

a log by Counselor Zier and Dr. Patterson

 

The Counselor Zier leaned against the wall of the lab in Medical, watching Maria leave to look in on Julie. He chewed on his tongue a bit, turning to look at the rather annoyed Klingon in the room.

 

Resting against the wall, in the corner, she never turned the lights on, so the room was still dim. Her knees against her chest, she rested her ridged forehead against her knees, shaking her head. "What do you want me to do? Be all happy and cheery? I have never been like that."

 

Alex stared ahead at the dented bulkhead. "No one's asking you to be happy or cheery."

 

"I don't know what you want me to do. I am alone, Jaden is MIA..." She shook her head. "I don't know how to be a mother. I never had one."

 

He slid down the wall, and crouched against it, looking at B'Etor at the same eye level. "No one goes into parenthood knowing exactly how to do it." He paused for a second. "I found Martin on that landing team mission so long ago. I adopted him, yes, but I didn't have any clue as to how to do it, or do it right. No one really does." He looked up at her. "I barely knew my mother either."

 

She could tell he was near her. Looking up, she had the look on her face that told him she just might cry. "I have no idea what you are talking about, but your a man, it's differant. Klingon's come from blood lines, and carry them on for generations. They hope to gain honor and glory for thier houses. I don't have that. I don't know what house I was from. I was adopted by a human captain. I was abandoned on a frieghter after birth. I have no honor, no name, and neither will this..thing..inside of me.." She sniffed and leaned her head back.

 

Alex looked at her, lowering his voice a bit. "You're right. I don't know anything about what it's like to be Klingon. But I do know this." He paused. "In my experience, people are not born with honor, they have to earn it. And you, B'Etor, definately have honor."

 

She looked at him, her eyes starting to well up. "Please.. don't.. I have never cried.. never.. don't make me now..." She covered her face. "What am I gunna do? I am barely out of the academy and I am pregnant..."

 

He scooched a little closer to her. "You're scared B'Etor, I understand. It's probably very new to you, but it's normal. You don't have to worry yourself like this."

 

"Scared... I have only been scared once in my life..when I killed someone.." She looked down, then to him, tears streaming her mocha colored cheeks. "I don't know what to do. I am scared.. and the only way to cope is getting angry and hitting things..."

 

"Getting angry is only one way of reacting or coping." He looked at her. "And it's the only way you know. But there are other ways."

 

"Did you know the chances of a Klingon and Human concieving are 1 in 1 Billion... Their DNA is practically incompatible..." She looked down, shaking her head. "I don't know any other way...."

 

"You can always talk with Maria or I if you need to or want to B'Etor, our door is always open. It helps to talk, like we are now." He looked at her. "One in a billion you said? Isn't that amazing?"

 

She looked up at him. "Are you just telling me that to calm me down? You are starting to sound like Marius.." She shook her head. "Amazing..sounds crazy."

 

He smiled. "It sounds like Marius knows what he's talking about. But think about it. One in a billion, and it happened to you. Like it was meant for you."

 

"Typical Betazoid.. turning lemons into lemonade." She looked at Alex and sighed. "How do I calm my temper?"

 

"It's not easy. It takes practice." He paused. "Try this. When someone annoys you, ignore it. Don't even take it from them."

 

"I tried that with your wife... and she shoved your daughter in my arms..." She looked at him, her arched brow raising. "Are you going to tell the CMO what we talked about?"

 

"I won't. I keep everything I talk about confidential." He looked at her. "What Maria did, I think it was a good idea, you're just not ready for it yet. You need to take some time and reflect on your emotions. Especially now."

 

"When Jaden comes back... he will help. He always knew how to calm me down, and he knew what to say..." She started to sob. Biting her lip, she sounded like she didn't believe he was coming back.

 

Alex paused, then took her hand and squeezed it. "You need to remember those times B'Etor. Remember how you felt when he was here with you." He looked her in the eye. "And know that you're not alone right now either."

 

She looked at his hand, then back down. "Alright..I'll try. But I make no promises." She looked to him. "Do me a favor... tell Maria I would never really make her a pretzel.. and you both know I adore Julie..and would never eat her.."

 

He smiled. "She already knows B'Etor."

 

She shrugged. "Just in case." She stood up, helping him up. "Thanks.. you know.. for talking to me.."

 

He grabbed her hand and got himself up. "You're welcome." He smiled as he straightned his uniform. "Don't hesitate to call me if you need to talk, or Maria, if you need us. We're here to help."

 

She nodded. "I will." She moved towards the door. "I know this will sound odd, but can we do this.. like.. bi-weekly... so I know I am on the right track? I am kinda new at the whole..exploring emotions thing."

 

Alex nodded. "Of course. I'd be glad to help."

 

She nodded, walking out to finish charts. She peeked back and forth, looking out for miniature Zier.