"OMG!"

[Kansas_Jones 0]

08.30.08

USS Agincourt NCC-81762

“OMG!”

 

“… so apparently, Lieutenant Colonel Day got the fragging bright idea to mouth off to some big shot of an Admiral while he was issuing orders for the Agincourt to head off to handle some issues on Acamar. Now, because of her general attitude, from what I can gather, some fallout has come on down the line. Or should I say that the sh*t has rolled downhill? Is that the fragging saying that the humans use? Anyway, having two marines in charge of a Fleeter ship is now not fragging regulation enough - even though the command track record of the two Sharks is superb, in my opinion – and personnel changes have come on down the line. Colonel Harper remains as our commanding officer, while Day is still listed on the marine roster. And you, Elder Guardian mine, are now looking at the new la tee fragging da Executive Officer of the USS Agincourt. Captain Left Ear JoNs of the USS Yellowjacket, I am Commander Kansas JoNs, Executive Officer, at your fragging service ma’am. Now isn’t that one heck of a situation report?”

 

Kansas scowled fiercely and an annoyed snarl reverberated across the communications link.

 

Wow. The Kitten hadn’t been this cranky since she had that impacted fang dental issue when she was sixteen. Acting Captain MVess “Left Ear” JoNs, older cousin to the cranky commander and currently the ships commanding officer to the Yellowjacket, paused for a couple of seconds to carefully consider her response and gazed at her guardian child from her end of the visual wireless data feed. The younger JoNs had contacted her Guardian as soon as she was able to on the older feline’s personal communications line. The best way to describe this “emergency call” was as the Oh My Gods, What The Heck Just Happened And Why Am I Now The Executive Officer Communiqué.

 

Left Ear cleared her throat in a trilling purr and proceeded to tread lightly with her response. “You know Kitten, this really isn’t all that unexpected and I think you know that. Earth took a serious blow with that Soltan bombing attack. And I know I really don’t need to tell you the number of officers and cadets that were all killed in action or who are still reported as missing in action. The Starfleet can and will move personnel around within the fleet in order to combat the sudden shortage of able bodied officers. In your case, it was an internal swap; it’s not much comfort, but at least you are remaining on your original posting.”

 

Kansas exploded again. “Screw that! I know that I’ve had the officer training, and when I signed on I knew that there would be the chance that I’d command a ship or at least be one half of a command team someday. But, this is straight up targsh*t! I might as well say it's technically a battlefield promotion!”

 

Wow. Cranky kitten indeed. “Kitten, will you please just listen to me? This whole situation is a battlefield, for lack of a better description. As I said, the Fleet brass … or should I say the surviving Fleet brass? Are just bolstering and reforming the surviving officers and crewmen. I myself have a newly assigned assistant chief engineer. The boy is nineteen years old - you even have fangs older then him – and he was just completing his sophomore year at the academy when the attack hit the Earth. Thank the gods that he and about fifty more cadets were away on Mars for training maneuvers. Now, he finds himself a full el tee, and is the senior assistant to my chief engineering officer. I’ve been hearing rumors that the boy has thrown up, twice, during this last shift due to nerves.”

 

The younger golden furred Caitians bright green and inquisitive eyes flickered as her gaze shot to a point other then her data feed screen and then finally re-fixed on the image of the older brown furred feline. “Um. Twice. I threw up twice once I made it back to my quarters and before I contacted you.”

 

The elder Caitian offered a gentle fanged smile of sympathy. “It’s not easy, I know. I couldn’t keep any food down for at least twenty four hours the first time I was promoted to a full on leadership role. Have you spoken at length with either colonel about the changing of the guard?”

 

“Not yet, not after the initial verbal exchange of the orders passed down by the Admiral that Day ticked off. She beamed down to the surface of Vulcan and located myself and Colonel Harper in order to inform us.”

 

“Is the Agincourt still maintaining an orbital vector at Vulcan?”

 

“Aye. The ship and about half the command staff and department heads had been on temporary detachment assignment to the planet Acamar while myself and a few others offered Soltan tactical testimony to the surviving Federation council members here on Vulcan. The Acamar situation was the mission that Day got all snippy about to the Admiral.” The younger feline snorted. “So, she mouths off, he gets his feelings hurt, and I end up with a face full of responsibility? You know, I’d love to take an assassination contract out on Murphy and Fate and drill ‘em both right in the ass with a phaser … “

 

Left Ear nodded. “Don’t get hostile Kitten. A little anger at the blind side promotion is fine, but you know better then to let your anger cloud your judgment. You’ve been taught better then that.” She deftly changed the subject to the galactic concerns that seemed to be on everyone’s - both civilian and officer alike – mind. “I heard about the remnants of the government re-convening on Vulcan for a little damage control. How did it go?”

 

“I don’t have to tell you that officially I can’t really comment until the findings are released to the general public. But since you’re not the general public and the word will spread among the Fleet officers more quickly anyway, I can say that with everything that was covered during the proceedings I feel pretty confident that eventually the Alpha Quadrant will be well protected from another attack, and Starfleet of course can’t leave a hostile Soltan force out there winging around the galaxy. The Soltan attack force got the checkmate, and now the Federation Fleet needs to go for their King so to speak.”

 

Kansas stopped speaking, let out a puffed sigh through her muzzle, and then ran a big golden paw across her face. “Enough with my bellyaching. How are things going over there on the Yellowjacket?”

 

The elder JoNs shrugged. “What can I say? We’re still repairing or trying to repair the damage we suffered during the blitz on the Earth. For now, I remain as her acting captain, but I’ve also heard tell of rumors that the Fleet commanders are planning on disbanding the crew and scrapping the Yellowjacket. You know I’ll fight it, but I also have to face the facts and know when to be practical. We lost over half the crew during the skirmish and this old Norway class is staying together with bubble gum and spit and quite a few prayers. I’ll handle it. Don’t worry about me.”

 

Left Ear paused and one brown ear flipped backward as she continued to regard her younger counterpart. “Have you spoken to your parents about this yet?”

 

“And tell them what? Hello Mother and Father, I just got promoted to Executive Officer because a marine mouthed off and I’ve also thrown up twice now.” Kansas shook her head slightly. “I don’t think so. Besides, they are still in the process of getting settled on the family homestead on Cait.”

 

The Earth attack had brought on an early retirement for the elderly parents from their civilian jobs with the Starfleet Academy. The two JoNs’s had promptly relocated back to Cait, and Kansas honestly could not blame her parents, not in the least.

 

“I’ll tell them Left Ear, I promise.” She glanced at the chronometer inset mounted on her desk and scowled. “Look, MVess, my break is almost up and I need to get back to the bridge and act like I know what in Hades I’m doing. I’ll contact you again later?”

 

“Any time of the day or night Kitten, you know that. And calm down before you make yourself sick, you hear?”

 

Some of Kansas’s humor resurfaced at that moment, and she let loose with a purred trill of laughter. “Too late Guardian! I already yakked twice, remember?” Her smiled faded as quickly as it had come. “But, I will calm down. It’s just, this is all so sudden … “

 

“I know it is, and it won’t be an easy path as you settle in. But eventually, you will adapt and settle in – just like a good security officer. Keep your head in the game, have one or two options to fall back on, and you’ll weather this situation like you always do.”

 

Kansas was tired and emotionally spent, and the stress showed on her feline features, giving her the outward appearance of a stretched thin corpse. But, she managed a fanged smile for her Elder Guardian at the pep talk. “Thank you Left Ear and I’ll talk with you later. JoNs out.”