Frustrations

[NDak 0]

The Talon set off towards the unknowns of the Gamma Quadrant for her year long mission. On the Oira, Destorie N'Dak stood quietly at the tactical console monitoring subspace traffic as they neared the edges of the Romulan Empire and approached the vastness of the of the Federation. It had been some years since he'd seen the other side of the Outmarches, not since his mother had served on Vulcan, and even then he was but a child.

 

It felt oddly strange now to approach aboard a warship, but on a mission of peace. His last encounter in this area of space had nearly killed him. The name Reaent was emblazoned in his memory, and the encounter before that had been even more disastrous. He felt a sudden, acute pain in his back as the scars from that incident flared in response to the memories of the Squid Incident.

 

He wondered silently to himself, as the stars streamed by and the border to the Federation grew closer, if t'Rexan could ever truly forgive him. He doubted it, not that he blamed her. Considering her wrath could have been far, far more deadly -- he was lucky to be alive; she'd taken pity on him. Some would see this as a sign of weakness. Destorie saw it for what it was; she was giving him another chance to prove himself.

 

In that, he'd mostly failed. Nothing he did seemed to ever please the woman. If he brought her the Sword of the Empty Chair and presented it to her, she'd find something to complain of; perhaps that he hadn't polished it to its brightest glimmer before giving it to her. To say it was frustrating would be an understatement.

 

What he could do was so unclear. He tried to be the best officer he could be, he tried to please her and she only rebuffed him. He'd been willing to sacrifice everything for the cause of protecting the Empire and the Talon, yet she still kept him at arms length.

 

How could she expect him to ever be able to do as she desired if she fought his ideas and sought the council of his rivals aboard the ship at every turn. When she had issues with the crew, who did she turn to? t'Ksa. Why she simply didn't make her the XO was beyond him. Well, not entirely; Ksa didn't want the position. Nor could she simply ignore the politics of the situation. For all their faults, for all their baggage, the N'Dak name still carried much weight in the Empire and with the Galae and she was not secure enough in her position, even with patronage from the highest of the Galae Commanders to make any more enemies than she already had created.

 

He only wished if she were going to be so obvious about hating him, she'd simply have him transferred to another vessel. It was not as if, at his rank, he couldn't simply be placed on another vessel; there was even a chance, given his aforementioned pull, he could command his own starship.

 

A sigh escaped his lips as he continued monitoring and awaited the response from the Federation Border Patrol and their base at Farein IV for the clearance to cross and head towards Deep Space Nine. Had her hatred of him blinded her so much that she could not even deign to recognize that he no longer coveted power for the sake of power? That his actions were no longer driven by greed, self-gratification and the need for ever-more power?

 

Sure every Romulan was driven by the need for power, but as he'd learned so painfully, the need for power could never come before the good of the Empire itself. No, she would not even give him that. All she would give him was hatred, discontent...but what was he to do? She was his commanding officer and he owed his life and his loyalty to her.

 

The console below him beeped. “Ah,” he said aloud. “Inform the Khre'Riov, we've received clearance to enter into Federation space proceed to Deep Space Nine.”

 

For now, his injured pride would have to wait. There was nothing he could do, but keep being the best officer he could possibly be; if she chose not to accept his loyalty, and not acknowledge his service to her and the Talon that was her mistake.