Nick phone home

[Nicolas Lepage 0]

Joint log by Carole-Anne Lepage (aka Annabelle O'Halloran) and Nick Lepage

 

Nick sat down behind his desk. The monitor in front of him was flashing, showing he had new messages. He quickly checked to see who had tried to reach him. "Oh, great," he muttered as he scrolled down the short list and saw his sister's name. It was the fifth or sixth time this week that she had tried to reach him. Guess I have no choice, he thought as he contacted the OPS officer in charge to open a channel to Earth. It took only a couple of minutes for Carole-Anne's face to appear on the screen. Nick forced a smile. "Salut Caro, comment ça va?"

 

"Mon Dieu, Nick! Enfin! Ou étais tu? I've been trying to reach you for ages!" Carol-Anne felt the tiredness of a long day at the Clinic slip away at the sight of her brother's face. She had been leaving him messages for months and tried to remember the last time she'd spoken with him. Had it really been four months? They had always been so close and she had been missing him terribly.

 

"How are you?" She softened her tone, not even a little irritated, just so happy to see and hear him. She frowned, thinking he looked a little thinner, a little tired.

 

Suddenly Nick felt a little guilty for not keeping in touch with his family. But after all that had happened lately he wanted some time to himself. He knew that his mother would have insisted he talk about what was bothering him. And Carole-Anne...well, she was even worse in that respect. As a psychologist it was her job to make people talk and she was good at it. Nick had a feeling he would have to make a real effort to get around answering her question. Where had he been? He didn't feel like discussing it. "I'm doing great, thanks. You know how it is: lots of work, little time off. How is everyone?"

 

"Caro narrowed her eyes at his breezy tone. "Everyone is doing fine, Nick. Ma and Pa are well as are the other members of the Lepage horde. I won't go into details about the other eleven--I'll save that for you to find out when you call Ma, which I am sure you're going to do very soon." Caro's smile dimpled as she teased him. There were thirteen Lepage children and Caro knew it wasn't easy trying to keep up with their activities and she still lived in the same town.

 

She moved a little closer to the monitor and caught his eyes. "Ok, I know you've been busy, but you've been very busy before and I've still heard from you. Tell me what you've been doing? How's everything on Aegis?"

 

Nick took a deep breath. It was good to know everyone was doing ok. Now he had to come up with a plan to distract Caro from her mission to find out what had happened. "Hmm...what do you think I've been doing, Caro? I'm a doctor. I treat patients." He grinned to make sure his sister understood he was trying to be funny. "Nothing new on my end actually...oh except...you know DJ, DJ McKinny, my former chief? Well she's back. We have a bunch of diplomats on the station now. " At this point he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, DJ's in charge of the dips' sickbay." He hoped that the mention of DJ would prompt Caro to ask about their relationship rather than the reason for his reluctance to communicate.

 

"DJ...yes, of course, I remember you talking about her. I'm glad you're working together again." Caro cocked her head and smiled a little; there was something about how he said DJ's name... "Diplomats? I'm glad things in that area are calming down enough that it's safe to bring the diplomatic corps on board. As I recall, Aegis is in a real hotspot and has come under fire before."

 

Caro kept her tone casual, "And, DJ...how does she like being back? You two are on an equal footing now that she's no longer your chief."

 

Nick couldn't help but smile as Carole mentioned that he and DJ were now on equal footing. He remembered long conversations with his younger sister when DJ had still been his chief during which he had expressed his feelings for DJ and his frustration at the difficult situation. "Well, let's just say DJ wasn't too happy to find out she'd be moving from Florida back out here but...hmm...I don't exactly mind having her around. We're sorta..well seeing each other. But she isn't too happy with..." Nick caught himself just in time. He had almost told Carole about the argument he and DJ had had a few days ago. That would inevitably have led to the question what exactly he was trying not to talk about. That was close, he thought as he tried to think of something to say. "Well she isn't too happy with being back out here without getting any warning, you see."

 

Caro felt a rush of happiness for her brother. Nick had told her a long time ago that he'd had feelings for DJ and the situation had been difficult for him. His casual 'Well we're sort of seeing each other' didn't fool her for a second. DJ was obviously very important to him and Caro had seen the happiness that warmed his expression before...before he said DJ wasn't happy. Wasn't happy about what? About going back to a base where she was in charge of the medical care of an entire diplomatic wing? About being able to be with Nick?

 

"I am so happy for you and DJ, Nick. I know how you've always felt about her." Caro looked at her brother and let a long pause go by before asking, "What isn't DJ happy about, Nick? A woman with a career in Starfleet, handed a big plum of an assignment and then finding herself in a relationship with a man like you isn't going to whine about having to leave Florida. What's really the problem?"

 

Damn! Damn, damn damn! It took Nick quite a bit of self-control to restrain himself from hitting his head on the desk. "Look, there've been a few things going on and well, DJ isn't too happy about how I handle...well stuff. We had a little...hue...discussion about it and everything's fine." Even to Nick this sounded lame. He knew Carole-Anne would ask what on Earth he was talking about. But it was worth a try. Maybe she'd realize he didn't want to talk about it.

 

Listening to her normally articulate brother stumble over his words, Caro chose her own carefully since Nick obviously wanted to let the subject drop. "DJ doesn't like the way you handle 'stuff'. What 'stuff'?." He was her brother and one of her best friends. If he wanted his privacy he'd have to fight for it.

 

Nick hung his head and gave in. He was tired and not in the mood for arguments. "Alright, you win but if you tell Ma and Pa or...well anyone else I'll come home and lock you in the wardrobe like I did when you threatened to tell on me when I ate all the cookies Mamie had baked for your birthday." Taking a deep breath Nick tried to think of a way to tell his little sister what had happened.

 

Caro smiled at the reference to the cookies and her brief incarceration in the wardrobe. She watched Nick struggle with himself. This was new to her. Her brother was always so confident, so sure of himself. Whatever was bothering him wasn't easy and she didn't say anything; she just waited to hear what could be so difficult.

 

After taking another deep breath and closing his eyes briefly, Nick focused his eyes on a point on the opposite wall just above the screen. The he started to tell Carole-Anne about how he had been captured and tortured by Cardassians, how he had been rescued and about his struggle to deal with the experience. "...So you see, it's not like it's a big deal," he said trying to reassure her. "I'm ok, really. I just still have those nightmares and DJ...well I just don't want to sound like I'm whining all the time, you know."

 

He wasn't looking at her as he related the terrible things that had been done to him. The tenor of his voice never changed and Caro, her arms folded across her chest resisted the urge to curl into herself and let go of the sobs she could feel building in her throat. She had no control over the tears that slipped down her face and she welcomed the feeling of rage that swiftly followed the terrible painful grief surging through her at the, no doubt edited for her ears, version of the beatings suffered at the hands of the Cardassians. It took her a few moments before she could trust herself to speak and even then she could hear her reaction in her voice.

 

"What....what has the counselor said about the nightmares?" There was so much she wanted to say to him; her heart was breaking for him and she was unaccountably angry with him for not telling her sooner. He'd been reliving the hell for months, night after night it sounded like and he was worried about DJ thinking he was a whiner? If she'd been in DJ's shoes she probably would have punched him and then held onto him like she'd never let him go.

 

After he had finished talking he looked at the screen to see his sister crying. Nick wished he could reach out and hug her. He felt bad for making her go through this. "The counselor said it was normal that, you know, after such a traumatic event it'd take a while to well, get back to normal. You're the psychologist, Caro, you know how it is. I'll be fine. Trust me."

 

Caro wiped the tears away knowing they would be back with a vengeance later. At least he was seeing a counselor. And as far as getting back to normal, she knew very well and so did he that there was no going back. You learned to adjust and you continued on but you never would or could forget. Nick's short term problem seemed to be how he was handling it with DJ. She must have witnessed the nightmares and he probably tried to gloss them over the way he was doing right now.

 

"I'm glad you're seeing the counselor, Nick and yes, I'm a psychologist and yes...I know. I also know that whoever is close to you needs to have a good understanding of what you're going through to be as supportive as they can be. Does DJ know how often you have the nightmares? Has your ability to get good rest been compromised by them?"

 

Nick shrugged. He wasn't sure what to say. Partly he was relieved that he finally told his sister what had happened but he didn't want her to worry about him. Still, he didn't want to lie to her either. "I never told DJ how often I have those nightmares but I bet her guess is pretty good anyway. I mean, there's hardly a night when I don't wake up at least once but it's ok. You know me, Caro. I prefer dealing with those things on my own. I'm just not used to talking about it and I guess that's why DJ's getting a little frustrated."

 

Caro was betting that DJ was getting more than a 'little frustrated' but that would be up to her to deal with. "Yes", she responded dryly, "I'm sure you do like dealing with these 'things' on your own, but tell me, Nick--how often is it that you are captured and tortured by Cardassians? I don't recall that happening before but maybe I missed it." He could be so insanely stubborn sometimes. She was still not over the shock of what he had told her and maybe she wouldn't be for a very long time but she wasn't going to give into the temptation of letting him get her angry. He looked very tired and she wondered if he was using medication to sleep...and to stay awake. She asked him.

 

For a moment Nick was irritated by Caro's response. She had a way to drive him crazy. "You know what I mean, Caro. If it's not Cardassians it's the Breen, a freak freighter or species 8472 attacking the station. I knew what I was getting myself into when I joined Starfleet and I never complained about it. This time is different. You know I really thought I..." He didn't finish the sentence. There was no need to actually spell it out. After a brief pause he continued. "Anyway, I don't take any meds on a regular basis...just sometimes." Nick felt like it was high time to change the subject even though Carole-Anne would probably not like his attempt to steer the conversation to safer ground.

 

"So how about you? How about the job? And what about your love life, little sis?" He grinned knowing that Caro must have a hard time dealing with their grandmother expecting her grandchildren to start families of their own.

 

Caro understood what Nick was trying to say-he'd thought this incident with the Cardassians might have meant his death, the ultimate sacrifice that Starfleet sometimes required of its members. There was no response to that--he had known what he was getting into. She was so proud of him for what he had accomplished in Starfleet and she would never want him to be any less than what he was but she wasn't going to tell him how afraid she was for him. He didn't need her to state the obvious. However, he was also crazy if he thought he was dumping the whole 'great grandchild' responsibility onto her!

 

"Don't even go there. We're discussing your private life not mine. Mamie is like a broken record on the subject. I never even mention when I have a date because then I'll be nagged until I bring the poor guy home for a meal. And the couple of times I made the mistake of doing that, I was embarrassed to death. No man likes to be asked if he's thinking of settling down or looked over as potential breeding stock. Hah, you think you have nightmares!"

 

Nick couldn't help but laugh. Their grandmother was desperate for great grandchildren and she never left out an opportunity for inquiring about the chances she'd have some soon. As far as he was concerned, Nick wanted to wait for a while until he'd get an assignment a little closer to Earth. Maybe even until a time after Starfleet. His father had been disappointed when Nick had told him he wanted to pursue a career in Starfleet. His grandmother, knowing such a decision would mean Nick wouldn't have children anytime soon, was about to disinherit him, Nick had been sure of that. "Hey, all you have to do is find a guy and have lots of children." He laughed even harder as he saw the frown on Caro's face. "Mamie will just have to deal with it. Don't worry."

 

The sound of Nick's laughter was so good that Caro almost forgave him for that last crack. Almost. "Easy for you to say, you're 10 billion light years away, or whatever."

 

"Uh huh, can you imagine what it'll be like when I get home and introduce DJ. Mamie'll probably ask her how many children we're planning to have and when we will finally get started. I don't want to even think about it. Though it'd be fun to see all of you again. I can't believe I haven't even seen Benoît except on this little screen."

 

Nick felt a pang of regret at this thought. He was happy with how things had turned out. His career in Starfleet was advancing well and he had found a new home aboard Aegis. But he missed his family and Caro knew that very well but it was the trade off for a career in Starfleet.

 

"Well, Benoît has been growing like a weed and Ma is so happy because he's finally out of diapers. You know what this means don't you?" Caro met Nick's eyes and nodded solemnly, "I'm praying to God she doesn't decide to go ahead and try for number fourteen."

 

Nick smiled. He remembered very well the time when he was still on 'diaper duty' as he liked to call it. "Don't worry, they've run out of names. Though maybe if they are superstitious....you never know."

 

Carol rolled her eyes and made a swiping motion at the monitor. "Bite your tongue." It was so good to be teasing with him-just like old times. "Nick, I am glad to hear you've been missing the family. One of the reasons I've been trying to reach you is to let you know I'm coming to visit you. I have some leave coming up from the Clinic and I've already booked my passage." She leaned back and smiled at him. "My tickets are non-refundable." Fait accompli.

 

Now he was speechless. "Wow...Caro...that's..." Nick didn't finish the sentence but instead a wide grin spread across his face. It would be so good to see his sister again. "I can't wait. I'll try to get a couple of days off but I can't promise anything. Is anyone else coming or just you?"

 

"Oh, please--I am coming to get away from the brood. It's just me." She grinned back, happy to see he seemed glad about her visit. "I know you're busy and I didn't expect you to be able to drop everything but it's just been too long and if the mountain won't come to Mohammed..."

 

She really had been missing him terribly and the truth was she did want to get away from home. And after what he'd just revealed about what he'd been through, she was more determined than ever to see for herself how he was.

 

"Alright, I'll start making plans. And don't you dare come up with any reason whatsoever not to come. We can have a food fight in the officers mess.......oh the possibilities. So when are you coming?"

 

"Ah, that's my brother--mature as always." Caro's eyes twinkled with amusement. "I should be there in a couple of weeks. Hopefully, the station will still be in one piece by the time I arrive."

 

Nick sat up a little straighter and his face changed into a serious expression. "Of course I'm mature. The engineering guys are pretty good at what they are doing so even if something happens I'm sure they'll have fixed it by the time you show up. Anyway, it's getting late and I need to get going. So I'll see you in about two weeks?"

 

Caro nodded, and put her fingers to the monitor. "Two weeks. Nick. Take care of yourself, and bonne nuit."

 

"Bonne nuit, Caro!" With that his sister disappeared and Nick switched off the screen. Well that went better than I thought. And she's coming in two weeks. He couldn't help but smile as he got up and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower