Armchair Psychiatry

[Samantha_Kent 0]

Brian walked along the corridor on Deck 8 of the Arcadia, finally pausing in front of the door he was looking for. Staring at the door for a moment, he debated with himself before finally reaching out and touching the small panel to the side, ringing the bell to Samantha's quarters.

 

Sam was sitting in one of the chairs in her quarters with a padd of a Bajoran novel perched on her lap; she heard the door chime go off and looked up a little curiously. "Come in -- should be unlocked!"

 

Brian watched the door slide open and stepped in, looking around the room before settling his gaze on Sam. "Gotten back into the swing of shipboard life yet?"

 

Sam angled her head around to see who it was and smiled, sitting up as Brian entered. "Oh, hello. Yeah...I have to say, it feels a little weird to have a soft mattress again." She chuckled and stood up. "Didn't know I was expecting visitors or I would have cleaned."

 

Brian smiled. "I didn't mean to barge in."

 

Sam chuckled. "No, it's no problem. Good to see you. Can I get you something to drink? Have a seat..." She nudged a couple of padds and books off a chair.

 

Brian shook his head slightly and walked over to sink into the chair. "I'm fine...thanks for the offer." He gave a slightly nervous smile. "I'm actually not real sure why I came here."

 

Sam moved to the replicator. "Water, iced." She turned back to look at him with half a smile as the replicator hummed. "Yeah, I was about to ask you that..."

 

Brian steepled his fingers. "Well...I guess I could make the excuse that you are the one person on the crew I have the closest connection with."

 

Sam's smile lightened a bit. "I guess I'm flattered. Though I could probably say the same of you. You and Malik..." She shrugged and took her water from the replicator, sipping at it.

 

His eyebrows lifted slightly at the mention of Malik's name. Sam caught his change in expression and looked at him curiously. "What?"

 

"Hmm?" Brian tried to quickly think up a cover. "I was just thinking about the way things went on the planet. Anyway...I'm glad to see you have recovered well," he said, looking around the room.

 

Sam looked pensive. "Yeah, so far at least." She paused. "It's been...a bizarre couple of weeks, to say the least."

 

"So far?" Brian's gaze shot back to Sam with a concerned tinge:: Are you worried about some longer term problems?"

 

Sam considered this. "I don't know. It's more that it's made me think about things a lot more, you know?" She paused again. "I was...very naive when I came here, you know. And that's already changing, and my guess is it's gonna change a lot more before I'm through."

 

Brian nodded slightly. "You have a lot more time to change, Sam. Take it easy and value each new experience and change." His lips spread in a world weary smile.

 

Sam chuckled, a little sardonically. "Brian Riley, wise old man of the mountain."

 

Brian waved a hand back and forth. "Wise nothing. But I have a lot of experience in loss of innocence. I'd rather take more time at it."

 

Sam shrugged and sipped her water. "Innocence is one thing...naivete towards a situation, not seeing it for what it is...that's another altogether. I think."

 

Brian looked at her curiously. "What do you think you didn't see?"

 

Sam opened her mouth as if to speak, shut it again, and shrugged. "Fleet isn't all discovery and successful diplomacy and peaceful understanding, I guess. And...that was all I saw. Or all I chose to see, perhaps." She looked a little embarrassed, though whether at her naivete or the cynicism that seemed to be growing to replace it, she wasn't sure.

 

Brian studied Sam a long moment. "What do you want to be?"

 

"I want to be a scientist," Sam said firmly. "I want to see new things, meet new races, learn...everything." She chuckled dryly.

 

Brian smirked. "Thats it?"

 

Sam caught the smirk and bristled at it a little. "That's all I ever wanted to do..."

 

"I didn't ask what you wanted to do...I asked what you want to be," Brian said. "You aren't *just* a scientist...there has to be more you desire."

 

Sam looked at him for a few seconds in silence, then chuckled, honestly amused. "I don't know, Brian. Guess I haven't had much time to think about it lately." She turned away and downed the rest of the water, then disposed of the glass.

 

Brian leaned forward in the chair and watched her. "So..what are your desires?"

 

Sam perched herself on the edge of a chair, watching him, still half-grinning, a little curious as to why he felt the need to dig like this but flattered by his interest anyway. "You'll have me telling you about my mother next..."

 

Brian smiled slightly. "If you want to. But I'd hate to digress."

 

Sam laughed and shrugged. "I want to be a good officer...make my parents proud. Learn everything I can. Maybe make a few friends here and there." She glanced at him. "Isn't that enough?"

 

"It is...and it isn't. Those are goals...desires are more specific...maybe more personal. I have a goal of staying in Starfleet...but I have a desire of having my father look at me with respect. So Starfleet may be the path to achieving that desire."

 

Sam looked at him curiously. "You never mentioned your father before."

 

"We aren't real close," Brian said with a half-smile. Sam paused a few seconds, inviting him to continue if he wanted, but Brian narrowed his eyes at her. "This is supposed to be about you."

 

Sam smiled sweetly. "Actually, you just showed up here; far as I know this wasn't supposed to be about anything." She shrugged. "But we'll play it your way, if that's how you want it."

 

Brian spread his hands in an appeasing manner. "You know plenty about me...I'm just trying to root out the inner Sam."

 

Sam chuckled. "I never aimed to be that complicated. Maybe now it's you trying to see things that aren't there."

 

"No one ever aims to be one thing or another...they just are. And everyone is complicated in one form or another."

 

Sam slid down onto a seat, letting out a long breath. "I guess I just want...or *desire*..." she glanced at him sidelong "...to do something worthwhile. To make a contribution that really advances something. Does that satisfy you?" She was more amused than anything by his interest, but at the same time her voice showed that she was honestly a little solicitous of his approval.

 

A lopsided smile spread across Brian's face. "Well now...that is interesting. Probably the desire of most scientists in the galaxy...to get that one big discovery." He stood up and walks to the viewport. "And surprisingly...a motivation that may have precipitated some of the worst crimes I have seen."

 

Sam cocked an eyebrow, watching him move. "What do you mean?"

 

Brian pressed his fingertips against the transparent duranium of the viewport. "Well...scientists are willing to desecrate holy sites, kill lesser beings, even destroy planets to prove or disprove their theories."

 

Sam stood up, leaning on the chair with one hand. "I'd like to think some of us are...more enlightened than that."

 

Brian turned and looked at Sam a long, almost uncomfortable moment, then spoke in a quiet voice. "I am sure you are." His gaze twitched away and half a smile peeked across his lips. "You have to understand...I look at almost everything with some suspicion."

 

Sam met his gaze without blinking, feeling oddly tense until his smile poked out again. "Well, you've been through a lot. I can't say I blame you."

 

Brian nodded slightly. "Sometimes it makes it hard to take things a face value."

 

Sam mimicked his lopsided smile. "That's why you moonlight as an armchair psychiatrist, I suppose?"

 

Brian's smile widened. "You saw clean through me...almost."

 

Sam chuckled. "Only almost?"

 

Brian walked over to the same chair she was leaning on and leaned on it as well, facing her and mimicking her positioning. "I figured out why I came here as we were talking."

 

Sam cocked her head sideways at him curiously. "Oh, really? Do tell."

 

Brian smirked. "No...If I told you everything I would lose my alluringly mysterious aura."

 

Sam laughed and punched him in the arm. "Aw, come on, Brian...you're mysterious enough already without leaving me hanging like that!"

 

Brian grinned without answering and stepped around her, heading for the door. Just before the door opened, he paused and turned halfway. "You know there were a few moments when I was on my little scouting expedition when I came close to not coming back...when I figured I could do better on my own."

 

Sam sighed and rolled her eyes as he ignored her pleas and began to leave, then stopped and turned to face him as he paused by the door. She grinned at him as he spoke. "I'm glad you didn't...I have a feeling life'd be a lot more boring around here without you."

 

Brian looked down at the floor. "There was only one thing that held me back." He turned his head to look into Samantha's eyes for a very long moment and then slipped out the door.

 

Sam watched him leave with an expression of surprise, then swallowed as the door slid shut. "Oh, Prophets...both of you now?" she muttered. She was not looking for this from him; given his past, she had a high respect bordering on awe for him and wanted his friendship, respect, and trust...but beyond that, she didn't know, any more than she knew with Pilot, who had already made his interest more than clear. "Can't a thing be easy on this ship?" she sighed and threw herself back into her chair, picking up her book and trying to focus on it again.