Burned Out

[Sam_SemaJ 0]

"Burned Out"

Personal Log - S.K. Sema'J

SD 10806.08

 

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Sam trudged into his quarters, drained. He usually had a three step plan for after rough shifts...

 

1. Uniform off

2. Sonic Shower

3. Sleep

 

He was thankful that he was able to sleep when he wanted to. Months of therapy with an Alpha Wave Generator had helped him develop the ability to get into bed and fall asleep, curing the insomnia problems that had haunted him following his wife's death.

 

His last shift had been rough, to say the least. But he didn't feel like tucking in tonight, something was irking him. He walked over to his desk, sat down, and slid the chair back to put his forehead right on the edge of the desk. This was Sam's way of quieting his mind. It not only allowed him to relax his body, it allowed him to keep his eyes open (keeping thoughts out) and stare at the floor (keeping distractions out).

 

He had been shipboard for months now since returning from medical leave. Starfleet obviously considered him fit for duty, or they would not have sent him back to Arcadia. But he felt his condition was worsening, his activity was limited, everyday functions caused him physical and mental strain...it was, if anything, extremely aggravating. Equally as aggravating was his relationship with his engineering staff. He didn't mind them personally. Archie was quite a jumpy and anxious young officer, but who could really find that as a fault? Sam knew he had left a mark when he snapped in sickbay, and planned to address his outburst during the next shift. Jordan was easy to get along with, a little snarky, but Sam liked that. And she was a talented engineer, as was Archie....and therein lay the problem.

 

Sam had come back as an engineer because it was closest to his former post, which had been filled. Oh yeah, and there was that little bit about being flight grounded. Though he was qualified, his *expertise* in the broad field of starship engineering lay in the very narrow area of piloting and navigation. Because of a staffing fluke, Sam had been dropped into the position of engineering chief. Not that he minded being trusted with a leadership position...he just felt that he was the least qualified and talented engineer in the entire department. If this complex mission had shown anything...it was the exemplary skills of the other engineers.

 

Sam picked his head up from the desk and shook away negative feelings. It was truly time for sleep, he had to go back and play his part as fearless leader for the next shift. Hopefully there wouldn't be any conundrums this shift that would clearly display the balance of knowledge that was *not* in his favor. He shook away the negative thought again and then carefully stood. As he slowly made his way to his bed he sighed...his condition was clearly in dire straights, he wanted make a dirty sarcastic look at the fact that it was so difficult for him to move around...but that probably would have made him dizzy.

 

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